💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
Jack's nasty internal monologue can't help but bubble out. I know people like this. I have family like this. Jack is so broken and miserable, he doesn't even know how to make small talk while watching cute dogs eat treats. Where you and I might think, I wonder if they like pumpkin, I wonder if I used too much flour, Maybe she'll hide it to save for later, Look now she's interested, Jack's mind goes to such topics as teasing, dying, evil, intimidation, and Watch them hate it anyway.
It gets even worse than that when you realize Fatty isn't even just anthropomorphizing the dogs, he's doing so as his ideal self.
6:34 = "Oh, she's waiting. Jenny likes to wait and hold onto her treat so she can tease the other two." We all anthropomorphize our pets, but who does it to randomly ascribe them negative traits? My dog hoards resources so she can fuck with her friends. Why is that funny? Whose mind even goes there?
Fatty's mind goes there because this is his preferred behavior, hoarding food and taking it from others. Remember when he went through his kid's food and started picking at it and bitching for his Playing With Your Food shit? Or all of the times he intentionally makes things spicy because he knows Tammy won't eat it?
7:10 = "Zoe likes to walk around Hope and intimidate her." Completely made up and said when Zoe wasn't even doing anything.
This is Fatty being an alpha blob in his own head. Likely the inner monologue of any basic Karen who thinks they're the main character at all times.
7:20 = "Jenny's finally eating hers. She likes to still have some left when the other two are wanting more. She's so evil. Evil Jenny." Again, completely invented behavior, with human-tier malice ascribed to some animal that's just laying there.
Again, more of Fatty describing his ideal self. Watch his earlier Fat on the Go videos when he was in California, especially when he's out with his friends talking shit as if anyone would ever be intimidated by his 5'4" sense of self importance.

https://youtube.com/watch?v=loJgEZ3oH84
I found a YouTube content creator that is either wearing Jack’s last molted hide as a skin suit, or Connie’s post man was making some additional stops on his route….
Holy shit, it's uncanny. Even his commentary about telling them to season the ribeye more for him while eating 3 giant plates of food, talks about how professional he is with his 300 subscribers. Even the little "Big Jim Approved" when there's nothing interesting on any of the plates other than a bunch of the same shit from Sysco as every other basic taqueria in the area, all while speaking with his mouth full and chewing for 80% of the video.

And watching a couple of other videos on his channel. Goes to some food truck and proceeds to eat 3 huge sandwiches by himself. Goes to some middle eastern place, orders a sandwich, a god knows what else, and a falafel plate in addition to a giant side of hummus. Goes to a breakfast place, orders a dinner appetizer, an avocado toast, some kind of breakfast benedict plate, a giant omelet, a giant biscuit, side of sausage, side of gravy.

This man is living Fatty's dream.
 
Half time, pre-game, post-game, pre-hospital bed...post hospital bed

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Holy shit, it's uncanny. Even his commentary about telling them to season the ribeye more for him while eating 3 giant plates of food, talks about how professional he is with his 300 subscribers. Even the little "Big Jim Approved" when there's nothing interesting on any of the plates other than a bunch of the same shit from Sysco as every other basic taqueria in the area, all while speaking with his mouth full and chewing for 80% of the video.

And watching a couple of other videos on his channel. Goes to some food truck and proceeds to eat 3 huge sandwiches by himself. Goes to some middle eastern place, orders a sandwich, a god knows what else, and a falafel plate in addition to a giant side of hummus. Goes to a breakfast place, orders a dinner appetizer, an avocado toast, some kind of breakfast benedict plate, a giant omelet, a giant biscuit, side of sausage, side of gravy.

This man is living Fatty's dream.
Yeah but at least he's not tongue fucking his food before he eats it.
 
those damn vegetables made him go blind via stroke!
They turned the frogs gay, too!

So Hammy will cook some wings at half time because fatty is too stroked out to do anything?
That, and because the evil Bad Bunny must be counterprogrammed. If Jack is a Real Patriot, he will turn on Turning Point's Kid Rock extravaganza and stare cross-eyed as Tammy throws some bargain-bin wings onto one of their eighteen grills that can be seen from space.

I'm also still waiting for his Super Bowl betting advice. Most pundits are calling for the Seahawks to blow out the Patriots, so Jack should be regurgitating this any day now.
 
5:30 jack ate doggie snacks back in the day as a radio DJ confirmed. probably got paid in dog food
Well this explains his toddler tantrum in the "playin with yer fud" chicken noodle soup video. He actually was pissed off and angy specifically because he eats this and knew he could just scarf down kibble for more meat.
  • 3:13 = "Watch my dog hate this stuff," he says as he starts making the treats. Why is that the first place his mind goes? Watch me do All This Work and my dumb dog wastes my time by not even liking it. I know it sounds small but I think most normal, well adjusted people phrase the feeling much differently, like, "I hope my dog likes this."
This is Jack projecting his insecurities and rage at the comments highlighting what a shit cook he is. He is such a low IQ narc that he probably would've chimped. I'd have said beat his dogs, if I thought him in shape enough to do so.
  • 6:22 = "Hope's looking at everybody else. 'Anybody else dying? OK, I'm going to eat it.'" Maybe this is normal humor and I'm the weirdo for caring, but to me it's not funny. (A large part of that could be Jack's delivery, because "Anybody else dying?" doesn't really make sense unless Hope is dying too when she 'says' it -- but still, death and animals don't combine to make funny asides.)
I wonder if Jack thinks this shit with his family. Probably given how even back when he had full use of his limbs they only ate his fud for the camera. They ate take-out or out in restaurants otherwise.
  • 6:34 = "Oh, she's waiting. Jenny likes to wait and hold onto her treat so she can tease the other two." We all anthropomorphize our pets, but who does it to randomly ascribe them negative traits? My dog hoards resources so she can fuck with her friends. Why is that funny? Whose mind even goes there?
Jack projecting and showing that he's such a glutton that he gets mad at seeing food just not being eaten. The inner gremlin in his head was probably screeching to take the treat and eat it, like it does to say picky eaters, or people who eat slower than he does. Which is most people, since most don't try to shove the whole item in their mouth.
  • 7:10 = "Zoe likes to walk around Hope and intimidate her." Completely made up and said when Zoe wasn't even doing anything.
Jack is envious that he's too short to intimidate.
  • 7:20 = "Jenny's finally eating hers. She likes to still have some left when the other two are wanting more. She's so evil. Evil Jenny." Again, completely invented behavior, with human-tier malice ascribed to some animal that's just laying there.
This is very telling. He's so food insecure that he actively ascribes malice to a dog for being picky or just wanting to hold things in their mouth. One of my dogs love to do that with treats for a bit before she chews on them; it's not an uncommon behavior.
 
6:22 = "Hope's looking at everybody else. 'Anybody else dying? OK, I'm going to eat it.'" Maybe this is normal humor and I'm the weirdo for caring, but to me it's not funny. (A large part of that could be Jack's delivery, because "Anybody else dying?" doesn't really make sense unless Hope is dying too when she 'says' it -- but still, death and animals don't combine to make funny asides.)
Fatty should be talking about himself given his health issues
 
Also, Jack remains steadfast in his fear of dog ween: three girls, Hope, Zoe and Jenny. He's never even been the type to interact with his dogs very much so I don't know why he's so haunted by this, but I wonder if it's connected to the fact he was clearly scarred by the experience of bathing his sons when they were babies (a task he has brought up unprompted several times in the past).
We all know Jack is as gay as the day is long, but I think dude legitimately struggles with his love of cock. The way he does everything in his power to even avoid acknowledging that penises exist really makes me feel like he's one bathhouse away from dropping to his knees and slurping down every dick he sees.
 
We all know Jack is as gay as the day is long, but I think dude legitimately struggles with his love of cock. The way he does everything in his power to even avoid acknowledging that penises exist really makes me feel like he's one bathhouse away from dropping to his knees and slurping down every dick he sees.
Like a lot of faggots in denial he has to really play up his aversion to dick.

It's also why he continually has to praise Hammy. Otherwise people around him might start to suspect he wants to suck a long, hard, fat one.
 
I love how for the last five years Jack’s YouTube channel has just been a brain damaged man live vlogging his own rapid descent into dementia. It’s like the makings of a case study or something. Fascinating.
 
It has certainly made his content more entertaining for me. I also enjoy how having nothing else in his life motivates him to crank out low effort, stroked-out slop for an imaginary audience every week (in a childishly narcissistic, attention-whore quality Jack has misidentified and presented as work ethic), whereas cooking horrorcow staples such as Kay (who has been on her deathbed) and Masao (who had a baby) have fallen by the wayside.

Jack constantly failing to preserve his front of being bipedal, capable, respected and respectable, non-impaired, inoffensive, or something any normal person would find helpful or even wish to see - all while his true and evil thoughts, impulses, cognitive distortions, and general selfishness and entitlement manage to come through in every video - has become his primary content at this point. And that jar of eggs periodically pops up in the background like it’s the grim reaper.
 
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It has certainly made his content more entertaining for me. I also enjoy how having nothing else in his life motivates him to crank out low effort, stroked-out slop for an imaginary audience every week (a childishly narcissistic, attention whore quality Jack has misidentified and presented as work ethic), whereas cooking horrorcow staples such as Kay (who has been on her deathbed) and Masao (who had a baby) have fallen by the wayside.

Jack constantly failing to preserve his front of being bipedal, capable, non-impaired, inoffensive, or something any normal person would find helpful or even wish to see - all while his true and evil thoughts, impulses, cognitive distortions, and general selfishness and entitlement manage to come through in every video - has become his primary content at this point. And that jar of eggs periodically pops up in the background like it’s the grim reaper.
Yeah, fatty pretends that he has this huge audience and fanbase but in reality his views get like 5k views after 3 months. And I'd imagine that 4,990 of them come from people in this thread
 
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