Unlike Sara Lancaster aka kwitokee, I acknowledge my child exists and pays for all of her expenses and those of my ex wife. Tangrams for Christmas because tangrams are bitchin'.
Let me blunt here, Tarl.
Your kid doesn't fucking want your shit. She's a little girl. She wants her dad, but her dad is an alcoholic manchild who throws shit at women and gets slippery fingers around guns, so for her own safety she isn't able to have that. Your child support payments aren't going to fill the void that you, because of years of substance abuse and a startling degree of emotional immaturity,
can't fill. Hopefully you're not creating a Dutch clone of Sam, but the odds are pretty high that she's going to have serious mental health issues as an adult that she will spend at least as much working to overcome as you've spent buying her toys so that the court won't send you to the Rutland annex of the American Ass-Rape Club (for that reason, anyway; you seem to be much worse at dodging incarceration than you are at dodging all other adult responsibility).
She seems normal to you now. That's going to change as she gets older and comes to terms with what you did, although in your Narcissistic self-obsession you may not realize that. She will probably struggle to form healthy connections to other people, preferring abuse over the loneliness that reminds her of the hole that
you chose to leave in her life. It's very likely that she will also struggle to maintain a normal, healthy emotional balance, because children need parental support at a very young age to develop that balance and
you chose again to deny her that. Her mother probably tried, but you left her alone to meet all her child's social needs, which is actually very difficult for two parents because we evolved as social creatures living in extended families. Your daughter will hopefully grow up to be relatively normal, but that scar
you left will always be there.
I don't even know if it would be possible for you to fix any of this now, and I doubt you feel any guilt for breaking it in the first place. Nothing's ever your fault, even when it is.