📚 Megathread Trannies posting their L's Online - Heckin valid people posting their funny misfortunes on the internet

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healing rain said:
He has his socials attached to his reddit profile for some reason. I snagged these from his instagram:
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Give him a haircut and he’d just look like your common-or-garden gay man. Everyone involved in this story is deluded at multiple levels.
 
Did my mental illness trick me into transitioning? Was I wrong?

This is more of a vent than a real question.

Hi. I got diagnosed with bipolar 2 recently and started antipsychotics. I’m starting to worry that somehow my choice to transition was a result of my bipolar 2 which has been slowly setting in over the course of the past 2 or so years.

I got on HRT a year ago. My life didn’t necessarily get any better. I’m scared because now that I’ve identified I’m bipolar, my hypomania feels scarily similar to how gender euphoria feels. It’s a feeling of lightness, of feeling like you aren’t weighed down by anything. To be fair, gender euphoria didn’t have me thinking I was destined to create a piece of art that changes the whole world. But it’s a similar feeling, of dissociation lifting and feeling like you could fly.

The thing about my dysphoria is that it’s not the direct and immediate disgust that a lot of people describe. for my whole life it’s mostly been a quiet thing. As young as 4 or 5 I found myself wanting to follow the example of the women and girls around me more than the men and boys. I had long hair but cut it when I was only 6 because I got bullied for being too girly. I pretty much totally repressed those thoughts and thought of myself as a “nerd” or something, I cut my hair and faded into the background.

My dysphoria is more like high functioning depression, in that I imagine if I never knew about transition, I could’ve lived a decent life, just kind of distant from everyone. I probably could’ve written off my detachment from male identity. I don’t look at my body and feel utter disgust, it’s more like seeing a speck of dirt on the plate you’re eating from and wishing you could clean it up but you can’t get up because it’d be rude. So you sit and swallow your food, and hope you don’t get sick. Since the moment I started growing body hair, it felt like my body was dirty.

Recently I went off spiro and it’s making me re-masculinize. My mistake. I can’t tell if having masculine brain chemistry is making me realize I was wrong, or if it’s just reminding me of the start of my transition where I was really uncertain of myself.

I don’t want to be a man, I know that much. I don’t want to age as men do. I don’t want people to think of me as male. I can’t tell if that’s because of something innate, or because I’ve simply known my whole life that I don’t meet masculine standards. But at the same time, I’m not under any illusion that the standards for women are any fairer or kinder.

In a better world I think I’d rather not be judged by gender regardless of how feminine my ideal self is.

I haven’t been doing enough for my transition, I think. I struggle to untangle my gender still. I thought for a while I was somewhat a butch lesbian, or agender, but I can’t tell if that’s true, or just another manifestation of me being too depressed to take care of myself and dress how I really want. The thing is, I’m 6 feet tall, and pretty wide. It’s almost assuredly true that barring some serious medical advances that I’ll never pass as anything. I want to believe it’s possible to dress in a way that makes me look thinner, and lose a little weight but it feels so entirely random. I see the reflection of my full body in window and some days the shape looks 1.5 times wider than it does on other days and I don’t know why.

I worry sometimes that maybe the media is right, and we’re all a cult. I feel like I have to be happy, or nobody will take my desire to be non-male seriously. I feel like recognizing myself in the mirror will never be enough, if I’m not happy. I know I can’t live up to the right’s standards for trans people.

I feel like maybe I might just throw it all away and go back to being a man if the US gets that bad, because dysphoria doesn’t make me want to die, it makes me feel like I’m not living to begin with. And I think I prefer living in sadness and depression to being dead, much as I’d love to be strong and fight for myself.

I think the antipsychotics I’m on are making my thoughts and feelings a lot clearer, and alleviating a whole second layer of dissociation that I didn’t even know was there. But I can’t tell what this means for my gender.

The more I type, the more I feel like crying. So I guess there’s at least some kind of pain here. I feel like I never grieved over the loss of my childhood to apathy and alienation from myself but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that.

I really wish my life was as simple as “if I transition, I can be happy and truly myself”.

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Bonus:
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A sad case of creeping sanity. 8)
The first symptom is ...

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Reddit -- Archive
I just don't think ---> ( I ) <--- could ever be loved. I mean what are the odd's of somebody even having a crush on me? most cis girls are either taken, or would not touch a trans women with a 50ft poll. I mean a I heard somewhere that 73% of accepting lesbians would never date a trans women, and since bi, and pan people ar eless supporting i'd imagine their numbers higher. Then add in chasers and make that number like 89% cause theres tons of chasers. Then add in taken people that be like 98%. Add in the fact my parents are supporting then it'd be 99.999% of people wouldn't date me. i swear it'd be a 0.001% chance for that to ever happen. Then I've never met another trans women. Most are probably taken, straight, or poly. so my numbers of ever dating are like 5%. I'm also in high school so just bump that down to like 3% or something. Thats not even taking in the not so good relationships, and other preferences. so i probaly catn go t4t at all. I rather just stop feeling things. I"ve already tried to rip that part out of me, but sometimes i feel it coming through. I mean i have 0 clue how tf i had a gf last year... for like 2 weeks.... both of us were not mentally stable plus later they became not so cis.... Then yeah another cis girl who uses multiple pronouns has a crush on me... But i dont really like her back, plus she's also going through stuff right now... In the future nobody will probaly even have a crush on me, unless they just went through a breakup..

I feel like when i vent i always get that stupide statistic that "most lesbians are accepting." reminder accepting dose not = that people would ever want you. As well every time i vent i get a "Im sure sombody would be into that" which just sounds like "IM sure sombody would want to do your half women ass, im sure sombody out their has a fetish for you.
Key quotes.
I heard somewhere that 73% of accepting lesbians would never date a trans women, and since bi, and pan people ar eless supporting i'd imagine their numbers higher. Then add in chasers and make that number like 89% cause theres tons of chasers. Then add in taken people that be like 98%. Add in the fact my parents are supporting then it'd be 99.999% of people wouldn't date me.
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Last paragraph is good summary.
I feel like when i vent i always get that stupide statistic that "most lesbians are accepting." reminder accepting dose not = that people would ever want you. As well every time i vent i get a "Im sure sombody would be into that" which just sounds like "IM sure sombody would want to do your half women ass, im sure sombody out their has a fetish for you.
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Comments trend supportive.
But lots of comments that were downvoted for being less than totally effusive. :lit:
Example:
I met my wife at a queer youth group at an LGBT centre 13 years ago and we fall more and more in love with each other every day.

I think meeting people you can be authentic with is very hard now-a-days, because it feels like there are terfs lurking around every corner. If you put yourself out there with confidence, you’ll attract them though. Though I know that is the equivalent of “fake it till you make it”.

She fell in love with me for my poetry and my larping. : ) so if you work on yourself, then you show that you’ve got stuff going on and that attracts people.
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I heard somewhere that 73% of accepting lesbians would never date a trans women, and since bi, and pan people ar eless supporting i'd imagine their numbers higher. Then add in chasers and make that number like 89% cause theres tons of chasers. Then add in taken people that be like 98%. Add in the fact my parents are supporting then it'd be 99.999% of people wouldn't date me.
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If "transwomen are women", how come transbians don't want to date other transbians?
 
Syikeblade said:
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I know people are gonna flay me for this because this is the anti trans schizo thread but honestly what flattering look for both of them. A MTF trying to look out for FTMs (seriously read the op and tell me that doesn't sound like a white teen or twenty something girl with a tumblr account. If a pooner had written that you'd all call tellingly feminine) and a FTM that apparently passes well enough to bring out male conservative vibes, and great username on the FTM. My main issue with MTFs is usually how damn self absorbed they are (and ridiculous voices). Good for them.
Sandshrew said:
If "transwomen are women", how come transbians don't want to date other transbians?
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Sean Andalou said:
Because they won't date uggos?
Nope. We know can't be that. :christine:
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They all seem to love t4t, not sure where you're getting them not wanting to fuck each other from.
 
Crispy Pancake said:
rapehon rookjemmy is upset at another troon for putting him and his friends on a block list and does what he hates others doing and bothers another troon for following the wrongthink troon. This is a bloody L if i've ever seen one. "Anti" now applies to people who are against real life rape and sexual harassment by troon logic!

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Rookjemmy harasses people by putting them on a block list threatening to tranny piss on them (his fetish)

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These people are literally fighting shadows. "This guy on the internet is following someone else that I don't like, I must make this front page news!"

Also, and I know this can be a stretch since people throw around "pedo" for parking in the wrong spot these days, but if someone puts you on a list calling you a pedophile you should probably do some kind of intrspection on why they did that. Like this Jemmy person is really just speeding right past that one like it's not an integral part of the story.
 
Lord of the Goys said:
Most of the trannies I have come across really wanted lesbians. t4t is probably a last resort since the only people who "understand" them would be people just like themselves.
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Or they are so autosexual that the only thing that gets them off is fucking their own clone.
 
Most trannies who will fuck other troons were either gay or bi before deciding to start dressing like a woman. There is a small percentage of trannies who are like There She Glows said are stuck in a Prison Sex situation they're desperate to stick their dicks into something so another troon will do. But most "Translesbians" want nothing to do with other trannies and it's beyond hypocritical they expect real lesbians to accept them.
 
a kiwifarms user said:
I do not see any content from reddit unless it's in a search result for a niche technical issue or a screenshot in a kf thread I'm reading so that might be why.
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The best for an unfiltered result is to go directly on the trans side of Reddit but it can attack your psyche a little bit ; the constant misery hits you like a brick (so shout out again to @Magic Pickle's work, lad has a solid mind).
 
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Echo_Ender said:
But the guy flipped it. He told HR that he didn't even know that the Troon was trans.
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That's actually genius. Very validation on the troon, and ass saving for the normal person.
31 Black said:
He saw a pretty woman.

He didn't post for days, and I legit thought he killed himself.
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When a random encounter with some random decent looking woman makes you have a crashout. I'm willing to bet he's also the revolutionary type that will bash the fash as well :lit:
 
a kiwifarms user said:
I do not see any content from reddit unless it's in a search result for a niche technical issue or a screenshot in a kf thread I'm reading so that might be why.
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Well this could be one of the reasons. I have noticed that troons are much more performatively happy about T4T in public and in media attached to their real name than in the anonymous spaces online, where for at least 15 years now I have seen them talk about the lack of acceptance they feel from "cis" lesbians. I get from your posting that you are more sympathetic to trans people than many (most) here, but if you go into anonymous trans spaces the desire to have a cis person as a partner is very prevalent, and it relates both to lust and fetishism, and the desire to have affirmation as a "true" woman

From what I have seen, this is far more prevalent on the transwoman side than transman
 
I just have zero sympathy for transbians and gaydens lamenting their love lives. Yes, there are tons of people of the gender you're actually attracted to who would've dated you weren't retarded and ruined yourself hoping to recreate something you saw in porn. Lesbians and gay men who aged out of being twinks I do feel somewhat sorry for or at least understand their hubris better.
 
Jhonson the Two said:
The best for an unfiltered result is to go directly on the trans side of Reddit but it can attack your psyche a little bit ; the constant misery hits you like a brick (so shout out again to @Magic Pickle's work, lad has a solid mind).
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Why would I do that? Any group of people is like that if you only see them through some unflattering online userbase and people who sharing ragebait about them. Pick your poison, men? women? go to the incel or radfem website of your choice and you'll get the same. I should have mentioned I came to this thread from random text. Brief curiosity is one thing but if you regularly spend hours doom scrolling things that piss you off you're a loser on par with those redditors subscribed to those "imahugepieceofshit" "niceguys" style subreddits.
Mellow Malevolent said:
Well this could be one of the reasons. I have noticed that troons are much more performatively happy about T4T in public and in media attached to their real name than in the anonymous spaces online, where for at least 15 years now I have seen them talk about the lack of acceptance they feel from "cis" lesbians. I get from your posting that you are more sympathetic to trans people than many (most) here, but if you go into anonymous trans spaces the desire to have a cis person as a partner is very prevalent, and it relates both to lust and fetishism, and the desire to have affirmation as a "true" woman

From what I have seen, this is far more prevalent on the transwoman side than transman
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What exactly are you considering anonymous here? Because Reddit doesn't count more than Tumblr where they talked about being "afraid" (tumblr style) of cis people or whatever.
Mellow Malevolent said:
the desire to have a cis person as a partner is very prevalent, and it relates both to lust and fetishism, and the desire to have affirmation as a "true" woman
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Undoubtedly a lot of this is trans related but I wonder how much is just an instance people who are insecure about being part of some group wanting the confirmation that it's not just members of that group who find them desirable. Eg, "I'm fat but a skinny person asked me out", "I was an inexperienced autist neet but now someone who has past relationship experience asked me out".
 
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a kiwifarms user said:
Why would I do that? Any group of people is like that if you only see them through some unflattering online userbase and people who sharing ragebait about them. Pick your poison, men? women? go to the incel or radfem website of your choice and you'll get the same. I should have mentioned I came to this thread from random text. Brief curiosity is one thing but if you regularly spend hours doom scrolling things that piss you off you're a loser on par with those redditors subscribed to those "imahugepieceofshit" "niceguys" style subreddits.
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And there's threads here for that too. Hell, incels had their own subforum for a while. The fun with tranny subreddits is how many times you can find "trauma, exile, shunning, physical pain, no sex... BuT i Don'T rEgRet TRanStiOniNg!!1!"
 
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