KiwiFarms' Best Game Ever Bracket

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Brap God said:
How can you hate on a game that lets you harass women?
https://youtube.com/watch?v=ye0j_3uN4V0
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Pretty sure there's a scene like that in MGS1 too, actually

Megaton Punch said:
>not including 177
>PC-88 game where the sole objective is to chase down a woman at the park and rape her
>once you catch her you play a minigame where you rape her in real time
>if you fuck her good enough she falls in love and marries you
>the name 177 refers to section 177 of the Japanese penal code which enumerates the punishment for rape
>the game has two endings; you go to jail (bad ending) or you get stuck with a wife you hate (also bad ending)

Do you even like video games?
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Wait, are 177 and Super Slut Stepsister Beach Volleyball Blackmail Rape Adventure 4 actually real games?! I thought you guys were joking :story:
 
SSj_Ness (Yiffed) said:
Pretty sure there's a scene like that in MGS1 too, actually


Wait, are 177 and Super Slut Stepsister Beach Volleyball Blackmail Rape Adventure 4 actually real games?! I thought you guys were joking :story:
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Slut whatever the fuck I'm pretty sure is not. 177 is, even though it arguably sounds the faker of the two. I've played it. It's not good. Basically the distant ancestor of those shitty-ass shock games on Newgrounds where you murder Steve from Blue's Clues or whatever. The entire point was to make women mad, not to make a good game. It's literally five minutes long.
 
KiwiFarms' Best Game Ever:
Semifinals, Rounds 1 & 2
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Deus Ex [2000] vs. Metal Gear Solid [1998] | Max Payne [2001] vs. Half-Life [1998]

Yesterday's winners:
Max Payne (81 votes) vs. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (35 votes) | Tetris (47 votes) vs. Half-Life (84 votes)​
 
I_Am_Not_Bruce_Willis said:
KiwiFarms' Best Game Ever:
Semifinals, Rounds 1 & 2
View attachment 7987647Deus Ex [2000] vs. Metal Gear Solid [1998] | Max Payne [2001] vs. Half-Life [1998]

Yesterday's winners:
Max Payne (81 votes) vs. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (35 votes) | Tetris (47 votes) vs. Half-Life (84 votes)​
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Holy fucking shit, that vote jump. The fuck am I looking at?

I expected Half-Life to win but not that large of a vote. Also brb, gonna murder Max Payne for this.
 
Don't tell me someone told /v/ of our poll, given that the games subforum is just a localized /v/.
 
I_Am_Not_Bruce_Willis said:
Max Payne (81 votes) vs. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (35 votes) | Tetris (47 votes) vs. Half-Life (84 votes)
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Megaton Punch said:
Slut whatever the fuck I'm pretty sure is not. 177 is, even though it arguably sounds the faker of the two. I've played it. It's not good. Basically the distant ancestor of those shitty-ass shock games on Newgrounds where you murder Steve from Blue's Clues or whatever. The entire point was to make women mad, not to make a good game. It's literally five minutes long.
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I see. It wasn't easy but I found a screenshot, it's a lot less "problematic" (for lack of a better word) than I imagined.
 
Deus Ex vs Half-Life. Pure kino.

Also, an observation but I noticed, that both MGS and HL1 in 1998 were pioneers in videogaming, one for Stealth and one for FPS. Both Deus Ex and Max Payne are not the same level but they are masters of their own craft, one for the Immersive Sim and the other for TPS.
 
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curbside2 said:
1. SimCity 2000 (Maxis, 1993)

Classy, refined, and masterfully designed. This is the simulation game as art.
[...]
I think 1992-1994 has an argument for the greatest period in video game history.
[...]
5. Alien VS Predator (Capcom, 1994)

The best beat em’ up ever made
[...]
4. Dai Makaimura

The best game in the greatest platforming series of all time. Despite what you’ve heard the gameplay is fair. And the game isn’t that hard of a 1CC. The visual design is fantastic. The music legendary.
[...]
15. Silent Hill 2 (Konami, 2001)

The only story in video games I’ve found that is worth a damn.
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A delightfully out-of-touch list from an individual after my own heart. I quoted only the parts that I agree with the very hardest. But while e.g. Flying Shark would get my full-upboated support, I'm afraid it simply isn't electable in the current climate (that is: Late Stage Casualism, awaiting the glorious Revolution).

One might suppose the /v/ poll posted earlier in the thread could give us a feel for the internet gaymer hivemind:

⁄v⁄'s top 100.webp

In handy text form w/cleanup (thx AI):

1. Deus Ex (2000)
2. Mother 3 (2006)
3. Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater (2004)
4. Dark Souls (2011)
5. The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (1998 )
6. Chrono Trigger (1995)
7. The Elder Scrolls III: Morrowind (2002)
8. Half-Life 2 (2004)
9. Team Fortress 2 (2007)
10. Vampire: The Masquerade – Bloodlines (2004)
11. Diablo II (2000)
12. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (2004)
13. Age of Empires II (1999)
14. The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (2000)
15. Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne (2003)
16. Shadow of the Colossus (2005)
17. Pokémon Gold and Silver (1999)
18. Planescape: Torment (1999)
19. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (2004)
20. Super Mario Galaxy 2 (2010)
21. Fallout: New Vegas (2010)
22. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (2002)
23. Half-Life (1998 )
24. Legend of Mana (1999)
25. Mount & Blade: Warband (2010)
26. Final Fantasy VI (1994)
27. Devil May Cry 3: Dante’s Awakening (2005)
28. Super Metroid (1994)
29. Final Fantasy Tactics (1997)
30. X-COM: UFO Defense (1994)
31. Super Smash Bros. Melee (2001)
32. Grand Theft Auto IV (2008 )
33. The World Ends with You (2007)
34. Doom (1993)
35. Red Dead Redemption (2010)
36. Metroid Prime (2002)
37. Dark Cloud (2000)
38. Left 4 Dead (2008 )
39. Final Fantasy X (2001)
40. Dwarf Fortress (2006)
41. Mega Man Legends (1997)
42. Fallout 2 (1998 )
43. Sonic the Hedgehog 3 & Knuckles (1994)
44. Halo: Combat Evolved (2001)
45. Silent Hill 2 (2001)
46. BioShock (2007)
47. Psychonauts (2005)
48. Final Fantasy IX (2000)
49. Xenoblade Chronicles (2010)
50. EarthBound (1994)
51. Bastion (2011)
52. Pikmin 2 (2004)
53. Metal Gear Solid (1998 )
54. Final Fantasy VII (1997)
55. Mass Effect 2 (2010)
56. Hitman: Blood Money (2006)
57. Mega Man 2 (1988 )
58. Super Mario 64 (1996)
59. Baldur’s Gate II: Shadows of Amn (2000)
60. The Legend of Zelda: A Link to the Past (1991)
61. Metal Gear Solid 2: Sons of Liberty (2001)
62. Deus Ex: Human Revolution (2011)
63. Banjo-Kazooie (1998 )
64. Final Fantasy XII (2006)
65. Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island (1995)
66. Banjo-Tooie (2000)
67. Halo 3 (2007)
68. Total Annihilation (1997)
69. Fallout (1997)
70. Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King (2004)
71. Paper Mario (2000)
72. Pokémon Red and Blue (1996)
73. Tetris (1985)
74. Shin Megami Tensei: Nocturne (2003)
75. Castlevania: Symphony of the Night (1997)
76. System Shock 2 (1999)
77. NieR (2010)
78. The Legend of Zelda: Link’s Awakening (1993)
79. Europa Universalis III (2007)
80. God Hand (2006)
81. Wolfenstein 3D (1992)
82. Rome: Total War (2004)
83. Tom Clancy’s Splinter Cell: Chaos Theory (2005)
84. Homeworld (1999)
85. Fire Emblem: The Blazing Blade (2003)
86. StarCraft: Brood War (1998 )
87. Super Mario World (1990)
88. Counter-Strike 1.6 (2003)
89. Kingdom Hearts (2002)
90. Super Mario Bros. 3 (1988 )
91. Deadly Premonition (2010)
92. Mega Man X (1993)
93. Heroes of Might and Magic III (1999)
94. Ghost Trick: Phantom Detective (2010)
95. Jak and Daxter: The Precursor Legacy (2001)
96. Animal Crossing (2001)
97. Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga (2003)
98. Diablo (1997)
99. Fallout 3 (2008 )
100. Secret of Mana (1993)
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Not bad games, not devoid of variety. Yet: zero arcade games, zero driving/racing games, zero fighting games (unless we count Smash, but let's not), zero shmups, zero sports games (lol, but not even something like Punch-Out or Mario Kart), zero 2D beatemups. Zero Resident Evils! One single puzzle game (Tetris, natch). Only run 'n' guns are Mega Man. Only three games from the 1980s. But roughly thirty-eight RPGs and twenty-five Nintendo-published games. Six Final Fantasies. Eight games with "Mario" in the title, though SMB3 barely squeaks in at #90.

Whatever the final result, our own list is a little more colorful, but it does give you an idea of the kind of barbarism we're up against, crusading for the likes of Metal Slug and Makaimura.
 
Calandrino said:
But roughly thirty-eight RPGs and twenty-five Nintendo-published games.
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12. Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door (2004)
13. Age of Empires II (1999)
14. The Legend of Zelda: Majora’s Mask (2000)
15. Warcraft III: The Frozen Throne (2003)
16. Shadow of the Colossus (2005)
17. Pokémon Gold and Silver (1999)
18. Planescape: Torment (1999)
19. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas (2004)
20. Super Mario Galaxy 2 (2010)
21. Fallout: New Vegas (2010)
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It says a lot about the consoomer manbabies that comprise much of the gamer population that a baby game like Paper Mario is ranked higher than Planescape Torment and F:NV.
 
Total Day of Sex victory! Metal Gear might have a solid snake, but it goes limp during all those cuckscenes.

Max Payne and Half Life both spawned obnoxious subgenres of shooters. Payne inspired endless slo-mo meters, and half life pioneered the walk-and-talk in-game cutscene and 20 minute intro sequences. Imitators of both were usually terrible, but at least the Max Payne copy cats had more gameplay. Plus, it inspired Stranglehold.
 
SSj_Ness (Yiffed) said:
Guess I've got something to Google. DONKEY.BAS?
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I unironically played Donkey.bas quite a lot as a child. I have memories of being taught how to load Xbasic games in MS-DOS and that was one of the first ones I remember.
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There is no win condition in Donkey.bas; it's a spiritual ancestor of Desert Bus.

My family had a subscription to a shareware "magazine" that came as a cardboard envelope of 5.24" floppies every month. Of course I have nostalgia for the modem handshake noise, but this was an era too.

eta: Tetris, nooo
 
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