💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

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When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 902 58.0%

  • Total voters
    1,556
If he's in Indiana then I guess he is actually going to Chicago after all.
So I guess they decided to pre-game it a week early by hitting up "chicago" restaurants around Nashville first? If Fatty were even the slightest bit competent he could do a comparison of the supposed "authentic" places in Chicago compared to their counterparts in Nashville... but he's not capable of that.
 
So I guess they decided to pre-game it a week early by hitting up "chicago" restaurants around Nashville first? If Fatty were even the slightest bit competent he could do a comparison of the supposed "authentic" places in Chicago compared to their counterparts in Nashville... but he's not capable of that.
Honestly this might actually be the series starting early. It's not like 'wars' mean anything, and I'd not be shocked if Jack just forgot or threw a fit and wanted pizza early. I'd just as readily accept that this pizza wars is just going to be in TN as I would in Chicago.
 
Whichever skeletons in Jim's closet eventually reveal themselves won't surprise me. He has to be directing all that negativity he grew up immersed in and holding on to somewhere;
That's the answer: Jim's got Pinocchio nipples. Every time he goes against his Scalfani nature, like showing humility or eating a vegetable, the nips get just a tiny bit bigger.
 

Jack makes a 'breakfast pizza' which is exactly like any other pizza he would make except it has eggs and . . . cilantro . . . on it. Is Jack really going to spend the whole month just making a premade dough, Rao's (TM) sauce, preshredded mozzarella + whatever toppings pizza? A weird dedication to Tammy at the beginning indicates something is going on with their relationship.
 
Sperging about Charlie Kirk's death and using it to shill Jesus, doompost, or sperg about university

(Note the thing he said the media wouldn't report is Charlie's killer being caught)

1757715700636.webp
1757715762932.webp
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vF60e-gx6M8
Jack makes a 'breakfast pizza' which is exactly like any other pizza he would make except it has eggs and . . . cilantro . . . on it. Is Jack really going to spend the whole month just making a premade dough, Rao's (TM) sauce, preshredded mozzarella + whatever toppings pizza? A weird dedication to Tammy at the beginning indicates something is going on with their relationship.
Why does Jack insist on making beetzah's with disgusting ingredients? He put 6 eggs on that pizza. I see online that apparently a Pizza a La Bismarck in Italy features one sunny side up egg in the center, but if he wanted to make his recipes appeal to the general public, then he wouldn't make abominations of classics & favorites.

Clearly, what he's after isn't, actually, for people to come to his channel for new recipes to give a try for that night's dinner. I guess what he really wants is to look like some kind of connoisseur who 'knows better than you.' He has no business sense.
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vF60e-gx6M8
Jack makes a 'breakfast pizza' which is exactly like any other pizza he would make except it has eggs and . . . cilantro . . . on it. Is Jack really going to spend the whole month just making a premade dough, Rao's (TM) sauce, preshredded mozzarella + whatever toppings pizza? A weird dedication to Tammy at the beginning indicates something is going on with their relationship.
Italians everywhere are screaming for his blood.

That intro sounds like it was recorded on fiverr while the guy was stuck at an intersection.

The cow on his shirt almost looked like a dog to me and I thought, "WAITAMINUTE JACK NO!!" then "oh, it must be Korea wars month soon".

Take the lovegoggles off, Jack, that dedication to the Tammzanian Devil was cringey and uninspired (like your cooking). At least use a more flattering picture. I will give him this, she does deserve some credit for the show. Anything that requires two hands (driving, using a phone, cooking) requires her. There's no way he opened that jar of sauce himself. Though I did see him open a jar single-handedly once, thooough my inner skeptic thinks she loosened it for him. I can't find it but it was recent, and seeing him use the candy claw to hold the jar steady warmed my heart.

Nice electric salt & pepper shakers that totally weren't bought for resembling his favorite kind of meat.

Two layers of shreddy cellulose chese.

ETA: the pizza in the thumbnail looks nothing like the one he shat out. A more scrupled content creator might use the actual end product; alas.

Point me to one Scalfani male who has ever served our country in wartime, and I will personally report to my first ICE patrol.
Jack fought bravely for our country during Desert Storm in pizzerias across the West coast. And need it be stated that he's fighting multiple wars at any given time? Pizza wars, burger wars, fried chickenshit wars, four+ tours avoiding physical therapy...
 
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https://youtube.com/watch?v=vF60e-gx6M8
Jack makes a 'breakfast pizza' which is exactly like any other pizza he would make except it has eggs and . . . cilantro . . . on it. Is Jack really going to spend the whole month just making a premade dough, Rao's (TM) sauce, preshredded mozzarella + whatever toppings pizza? A weird dedication to Tammy at the beginning indicates something is going on with their relationship.
What the fuck is that dough?
Bro that is too much sauce.
How this nigga going to burn pizza but undercook chicken?

It has been a long time since I have watched a Jack video and I am shocked by how he sounds. Outside of all the other physical stuff he seems to be experiencing some diaphragmatic dysfunction which is not good at all.
 
Sperging about Charlie Kirk's death and using it to shill Jesus, doompost, or sperg about university

(Note the thing he said the media wouldn't report is Charlie's killer being caught)

View attachment 7907882
View attachment 7907888
I always get a kick out of someone quoting a media report about whatever and saying "Why isn't anyone reporting this!" They are man, you just read the report about it
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vF60e-gx6M8
Jack makes a 'breakfast pizza' which is exactly like any other pizza he would make except it has eggs and . . . cilantro . . . on it. Is Jack really going to spend the whole month just making a premade dough, Rao's (TM) sauce, preshredded mozzarella + whatever toppings pizza? A weird dedication to Tammy at the beginning indicates something is going on with their relationship.
If Jack didn't half-ass this like he always does, then he might've been able to make something passable if he ditched the cilantro and replaced the marinara sauce with something like country gravy or Hollandaise sauce.
I hate the new AI intro song. I don't know which is worse, between that or the terrible Splatoon knockoff song he normally uses.
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vF60e-gx6M8
Jack makes a 'breakfast pizza' which is exactly like any other pizza he would make except it has eggs and . . . cilantro . . . on it. Is Jack really going to spend the whole month just making a premade dough, Rao's (TM) sauce, preshredded mozzarella + whatever toppings pizza? A weird dedication to Tammy at the beginning indicates something is going on with their relationship.
I guess so on him just spamming Pizzas. Maybe he finally and belatedly found Cookshow with Trevor and seeks to copy that and ooze into his algorithms for attention.

As for this desecration of gastronomy, I love how he's putting eggs on pizza this time like the fucking Brazillians sometimes do with one of their pie styles. Even when it's done competently, I just don't think it works as a topping, since eggs don't like getting fired up like this for pizzas, they'll overcook otherwise. It doesn't work raw, and it sure as shit doesn't work hardboiled unless you put them on in the end. And then there's all the ham he's slamming on this pile of shit like he's making a breakfast pizza.

This is just revolting, just like his choice to use a horrible AI song for the intro. The standard "Cooking with Fat for Dummies" by itself was less bad.
 
In the video he mentions the idea of putting a gravy on it which at least would have been interesting and differentiated it from his other pizza, but no, just as basic as possible. Since he's making it with a red sauce I'd have gone with a deep dish pizza inspired by shakshuka or eggs in purgatory. Or even do no sauce at all and just treat it as a very doughy quiche. He also admits that this and seafood pizza were NOT GUD.

Honestly this might actually be the series starting early. It's not like 'wars' mean anything, and I'd not be shocked if Jack just forgot or threw a fit and wanted pizza early. I'd just as readily accept that this pizza wars is just going to be in TN as I would in Chicago.
If he was better with words, had functional tastebuds, more likeable and didn't eat himself into numerous strokes he could have even made it his niche to provide comprehensive reviews of the eating establishments of his area of flyover country. I don't think there's anybody on earth who could provide much of worth with regards to Chicago pizzerias that hasn't already been said quite well by someone else but who do you go to if you want to find the best Korean BBQ in Tennessee? Well obviously not the jack we have, but the hypothetical Jack I'm describing could have done it.
 
Jack, release the list! Hiding his biometrics since July of last year? Let's see that log of weight/bp/sugar, Jack!
We haven't gotten a weight update the truck scale keeps reading "To be continued"
In the video he mentions the idea of putting a gravy on it which at least would have been interesting and differentiated it from his other pizza, but no, just as basic as possible. Since he's making it with a red sauce I'd have gone with a deep dish pizza inspired by shakshuka or eggs in purgatory. Or even do no sauce at all and just treat it as a very doughy quiche. He also admits that this and seafood pizza were NOT GUD.


If he was better with words, had functional tastebuds, more likeable and didn't eat himself into numerous strokes he could have even made it his niche to provide comprehensive reviews of the eating establishments of his area of flyover country. I don't think there's anybody on earth who could provide much of worth with regards to Chicago pizzerias that hasn't already been said quite well by someone else but who do you go to if you want to find the best Korean BBQ in Tennessee? Well obviously not the jack we have, but the hypothetical Jack I'm describing could have done it.
I've already mostly memoryholed the video because it was just so boring but if The Sopranos has taught me anything is that some American eetalians call marinara gravy (and spaghetti noodles macaroni).

If he was better with words he wouldn't have uploaded a video called how to make the ultimate breakfast pizza only to give it a 6.5 out of 10 and insisted he would never make it again.
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=vF60e-gx6M8
Jack makes a 'breakfast pizza' which is exactly like any other pizza he would make except it has eggs and . . . cilantro . . . on it. Is Jack really going to spend the whole month just making a premade dough, Rao's (TM) sauce, preshredded mozzarella + whatever toppings pizza? A weird dedication to Tammy at the beginning indicates something is going on with their relationship.
Looks like he's mass-deleting comments. Or Jr. is and Jack is paying him to, most likely.
 
Since he's making it with a red sauce I'd have gone with a deep dish pizza inspired by shakshuka or eggs in purgatory.
That right there would work as a "breakfast" pizza. Make it a deep dish style with loads of tomato, peppers, onions and spices then cook a raw egg in it.

And what do you know? That actually exists:

1757734626832.webp

Well maybe not necessarily deep dish but a shakshuka style pizza.
 
mom's least favorite.webp

"She deserves all the credit for this show...as much as I do." Jack almost allowed a non-selfish sentiment to leave his snout, then put the horrible photos of her on the opposite side of where he was pointing.

You can also infer the resentment in his comment "she doesn't watch that often - So she'll probably never see this." It leads me to suspect Jack of only having done this to shame her for not watching every video after being made to do all that (ordinarily) thankless work; solely so Jack can pretend he has his own TV show and a dedicated audience. This unbelievably pompous asshole gets misty-eyed bearing witness to his marriage by tooting his own horn (despite requiring her to do it for him). Though this is all par for the course in the Fattyverse, it's this kind of shit that makes me hope she goes first; so we can witness Jack persevering in his ME! ME! ME! videos because "it's what Tammy would have wanted."

edit: That fuckniggering Josh's site shit the bed instead of posting the text and attachment together.
 
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Or even do no sauce at all and just treat it as a very doughy quiche. He also admits that this and seafood pizza were NOT GUD.
A friend of mine talked about and mentioned a family recipe they have that's basically this. I think it might be the only way to make egg work out for this. They often fill it with items they like to round it out and use the dough as a pie shell almost.

I also think another way that'd work is if you did a marinara style pizza where instead of a red sauce, you'd use something like hollandaise sauce, and you toast it since it'd be a light and thin one. Top with peppers, sausage, onion, ham, and cheese. That'd also work well I'd say.

This was just Fat Jack copying the same recipe and swapping the toppings; he has belatedly discovered how Taco Bell works a menu.
 
Me: Point me to one Scalfani male who has ever served our country in wartime, and I will personally report to my first ICE patrol.

TKQ: Jack fought bravely for our country during Desert Storm in pizzerias across the West coast. And need it be stated that he's fighting multiple wars at any given time? Pizza wars, burger wars...
Wow, I walked right into this one. I snorted into my morning coffee... Bravo.

This unbelievably pompous asshole gets misty-eyed bearing witness to his marriage
that dedication to the Tammzanian Devil was cringey and uninspired
Agreed. IMO Jack reeks of emotional dysregulation: a classic trait of narcissism.
  • When he's mad, he's so mad his voice shakes, his face contorts in disgust and he chokes out how much he hopes you suffer if you happen to live in xyz place or hold xyz belief
  • When he's embarrassed, his whole ego dies and he weeps openly (see: the end of West Texas Investors Club)
  • When he's reflective, he has to fight back tears so hard his eyes turn red
  • When he's amused (or rather, pretending to be, to hide how empty and nervous he actually feels because he knows he's a dumb fraud), he laughs preemptively, loudly and fakely
  • When he's grateful (i.e., wants you to think he's grateful), he's sickly sweet about mundane nonsense:
    • "Oh my gosh, you guys. Our waitress was SO sweet!"
      • Cut to some tired server who just mindlessly refilled his coffee
    • "There she is, you guys! My beautiful, blushing bride!"
      • Cut to Tammy slouching toward Bethlehem at the lip of some random beach
    • "That's why I love Tammy, you guys! She's so awesome!"
      • Cut to Tammy exiting the scene wordlessly after she opened a crusty jar of mustard for him
His reactions are always over-the-top, unnecessary and socially abnormal.

then put the horrible photos of her on the opposite side of where he was pointing.
And I'm pretty sure all those photos are currently viewable on their Facebooks, too. After all that "look at me, I'm such a grateful person and good husband, watch me randomly almost cry" posturing, he couldn't even be arsed to find a good* picture of Tammy that he really likes (or is unique or new in some way) to show his viewers.

* Note: Photo may not exist. Terms and conditions apply.
 
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