Watched the first 25 minutes of Jack's livestream today! Apologies in advance for the political nature of some of this post. The chat was absolutely hammering him today on the subject of food stamps, which he was famously on as a child. I have my opinions, but no matter where you come down on the issue (i.e., should people on food stamps be allowed to buy snack food?), Jack is obviously the shittiest ambassador possible for
any side's philosophy.
Anyway, let's get to it!
Someone asks Jack if he has anything special planned for his 2000th episode.
Jack admits he has no idea how far or how close he is to Episode #2000. ("Sorry guys," he says. "Paying attention to everything can be a little overwhelming!") He then figures he would just do another Bacon Explosion anyway. Creative, this man!
Taco Bell is coming up with 30 new menu items. We're gonna go in and purchase some of 'em. Like the tacos where the shell is made out of cheese -- I think that's interesting. I'd love to know the ingredients.
It's Taco Bell, dude. By definition it is always the same five ingredients, reconfigured. How have you gorged on fast food your entire life and not figured this out?
I swear, it sounds like Jack says, "Hey, Dark Skin, what's up?"
Someone in chat: Jack, did I miss the one-year carnivore update video?
Jack [quickly, with a snarl]: No. You didn't miss it. I haven't done it yet. Too many other things going on. I've got some remodel work for my faith-based channel. Some more tech videos. I'm working on so many other things, I just haven't had the time to sit down and write out what we're going to talk about.
You'd think that, given how obsessed Jack was with proving people wrong by doing carnivore and how petty and grudge-holding he is in general, he would be
rushing to publish proof that he's much better off today than he was when he started a year ago. But suddenly, he's so, so busy, you guys -- he's more busy than anyone could possibly conceive!
If he really thinks vegetables are poison and only eating animal products has cured his apnea, his diabetes, and whatever the fuck else, why would he
sit on those results? They're life-changing! He
filmed himself administering a test that disproves established medical science! What is there to "sit down" and "write out"? Share the OG data, today's data, and the deltas. Why's that so hard?
Oh, right. Because he's a liar; carnivore failed; he's actively dying; and everyone who advised or begged him not to do it was right. So now we get to see him spend the rest of his days running from the narc wound of admitting that.
Someone in chat: I'm here from Atlanta, Georgia, where cornbread booties fill up the bleachers.
If you go to timestamp 10:52, you can see Jack read this to himself very slowly.
Someone in chat: Sorry about your wife.
Jack: Uh... yeah. Heh. You guys keep that talk about her boobs goin' for the next hour we're going to be live.
Quite confused by this. My understanding is this stream was his second today, because he fucked up the first by streaming it to his personal channel. I wonder if on that first stream, Jack revealed a medical update for Tammy? No clue. But in any case, his smirking reaction to someone expressing their condolences is strange.
"Should people on EBT be able to make carnivore ice cream?" asks someone in chat.
Jack's reply: Not a clue on what that question means.
Right after this, someone trolls Jack in a way he is
never capable of seeing: by stating his position back to him accurately, but without spin. The person asserts that Jack is right: People on EBT should only be allowed to eat what other people tell them to eat!
When Jack hears it put that way, he of course says that's not what he's doing. But then he instantly triples down on his belief that people on EBT should not be allowed to buy chips or soda or donuts with those funds. His reasoning: Those aren't "normal foods" and you don't have to eat them to "survive."
Right, because alligator stuffed with gumbo or whatever the fuck he made with Paul is "normal food." Shaving Cheeto dust into your macaroni and cheese
is normal and a requisite for human survival. But a low-income family shouldn't be able to use their food stamps to buy chips and soda for their Fourth of July BBQ.
Jack continues; And if you wanna argue about that, have fun talking to yourself. Because there's no way you're going to change my mind!
The words of an open-minded critical thinker.
Someone types this quote into the chat, which Jack mutters aloud: "Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate?"
I had never heard this quote before, so to Google I went. Apparently it's from a novel called
The Dispossessed and the quote is from a character who is challenging the idea that others should get to tell him when he should suffer, especially when the people telling him how it's such a blessing to suffer are themselves doing quite well.
Jack admits he has "no idea what the frick you're talking about" but still gets mad and scornfully dismisses the quote as "a sob story of some sort."
Jack: If you're on food stamps, you don't get to sit on the couch and watch Judge Judy and eat freakin' donuts.
If I'm a waitress or a machinist or a truck driver and I get home after a long night shift, why the
FUCK do I not get to watch Judge Judy and eat some donuts?!?
Cactus Jack: People need to pull themselves up by their bootstraps.
Jack: There you go, Cactus Jack! I agree!
This was a troll, because the idea of "pulling yourself up by your bootstraps" originated as a joke meant to demonstrate the impossible. Some know this, some don't, but those who don't tend to use the quote the most. Jack, naturally,
doesn't know this, and thus owns himself.
Jack: We are luckily pulling out of the nosedive of America.
This has been caused by our laziness, Jack says, which is reflected in our desire to work remotely, bring our phones with us to the bathroom, and caring if our managers or coworkers like us.
Jack: How many times have you been at a conference and they say, "Raise your hand if you like your job!" and no one's hand in the room went up? Mine did! I love what I do! It's so much fun!
Yeah, I bet that's so hard: doing what you love for a living when your lifestyle of constant eating out, new homes and vacations is subsidized by someone else and their rich parents. Inspiring. Brave. The American dream that Fievel the mouse was in search of.
[Jack Lore Update]
Jack: I used to DJ at a steakhouse!
Holy shit.
I was paid fairly decent [sic] to be a DJ at this nightclub that was part of the steakhouse.
That makes slightly more sense, but still. Was this big in the '80s? Steakhouses that doubled as nightclubs?
The manager didn't like me because I made more money than him.
I'm sure that was the only reason.
So I told him to his face, "Learn how to DJ if you don't like the money you're making!" So I'm telling you guys, if you don't like the money you're making, go in another direction. Learn how to code. Branch off and work for yourself. Nobody says you gotta do what you're doing. If you don't like it, get out of it. Go make the money you want to make.
This advice is the butt-baby of Deepak Chopra and Tony Robbins. Spoken like a true manchild who's never worked an honest day in his life, and has less than zero insight into the current job market for white-collar professionals.
Software engineers are having a
terrible time getting hired right now, because their skill set is no longer rare, they expect a ton of money and perks, and the job is extremely outsourceable (mainly to India but also to Eastern Europe and South America). But hey, if you don't want to "learn to code" you can just start your own business! Simple enough. Thanks, Jack.
Jack: If you're a content creator, I'd love to help you out! Reach out to me, let me know what you need, we can talk. I don't care if you have one subscriber!
If they have one subscriber who actually respects them, then that would be one more than Jack has. Also, whispers of the failed Jack Pack™ live rent-free in Jack's mind, forever.
Stray Observations
- I believe this is already known but Jack will be in Chicago this September for the newest installment of Pizza Wars
- He says he will have a bite of each pizza so he can judge
- Imagine doing this with Jack -- flying out to another state to partake in this bullshit for his dead channel and egoist fantasies -- and when you get there it's just him watching you eat the whole time. Why anyone would participate in this is beyond me.
- Though I suppose, if his church acquaintance Robert is any indication, the answer is mostly pity.
- "Food News" will now become its own segment; Jack is mainly doing this because Charles told him to
- Jack and Paul use Signal to talk about "private stuff" (right) as do some of Jack's "government friends" (of course!)
