I keep going back and forth on her role and guilt in this.
A factor is, that we don’t know that much about her.
I’m not entirely willing to discount that she could be a pretty broken person. (Whether because she came like that or because she has been married to a raging narcissist for decades.)
It’s easy to say: “Oh well, she should just have done this and that!”
But if she has actual psychological problems, and the psych meds she supposedly takes is an indication of that, then maybe no, she can’t “just do it”.