🍽️ حلال Connor Bible - Everyone's Favorite Molly Ringwald loving, adoption hating, aspiring writer and bellybutton fucker

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Which Connor is the most amusing?

  • Semi-Motivated Connor, aka "I've written 200 words on my new story and took a walk with my grandma."

    Votes: 127 13.2%

  • Depressed Connor, or "Give me one reason why I shouldn't blow my brains out."

    Votes: 73 7.6%

  • Edgy Rebel Without a Cause Connor, or "Shut the fuck up you stupid motherfuckering faggots!"

    Votes: 529 55.0%

  • Smug Pseudo-Intellectual Connor or "I've read Bret Easton Ellis, you guys!"

    Votes: 232 24.1%
  • Total voters
    961
ToroidalBoat said:
Where is that post where Connor thought that moving out on his own would eventually lead to drama with the mafia?
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Found it. Page 110. It was drama with "Russian sharks" Connor thought he'd get into after moving out on his own.

Connor Bible said:
So, you guys want me to [...] move into some shitty one room apartment [...] get in deep with the local Russian sharks [...] and generally gain character through misery?
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He really does think shitty movies reflect real life doesn't he? I'm starting to understand why his parents don't let him go outside without supervision.
 
BlueArmedDevil said:
@Connor Bible why not give us access to your outlook account and we can retrieve the emails. Just pm @Smutley or @BOLDYSPICY! The details and that's that.
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Meh, he probably trusts Smutley more than me. Especially since I was always the "bad cop" long before Smutley got fed up.
goodcopbadcop.png

(sorry, reused an old drawing)
 
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ToroidalBoat said:
That one's new to me. Not surprising that they'd do that though, seeing as how they even periodically check up on him when he's at home.

Does Connor mind being literally treated like he's in elementary school?
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Maybe they also lock him in the cellar and give him fish heads to eat.
 
Connor Bible said:
Look, all I said in my correspondences with Smith was that you guys were harassing me, and that it was taking an emotional toll. I wasn't able to recover those particular e-mails; I'm telling you the truth, exactly how I remembered them. I didn't know that he called in the threat. I can't really trust anything I see nowadays. Again, I'm being honest; I remember the e-mails well.
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If you admit that you got laughed off by Vordrak in the other e-mails please just admit it. We'll at least give you some credit for being honest.
 
Tonight after I get off work comes the first expose on Connor's family. They will continue until I run out of extended family to slander by linking them to Connor's thread. When people search for "Mark A. Bible, Attorney" and the first link they see is this thread I hope it was all worth it Connor.

Pro-tip: You've got, what, 9-ish hours? I didn't say this before because I didn't want you to autistically delete all your shit and claim it was always gone, but check your "sent" folder and copy the messages you sent Vordrak from there.

If that doesn't work or you refuse to even do it? Fucking ask Vordrak to resend you the emails because we're blackmailing your family. I'm sure such a noble and ethical man as Samuel Collingwood Smith would happily give you your correspondences back. Or maybe not, maybe he'll send your family fake anthrax too. Maybe you could ask your new friends over at autism(dot)cool to help out too, since they're already coming here to leak chat logs from you.

edit: even the turbospergs at Wrong Planet agree with us holy shit
upload_2016-5-31_9-51-5.png
 
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Phil Ken Sebben said:
No other lawyer there is using "Esq" after their name and in fact, it's usually only the most pretentious ones that do as if it grants them an extra air of legitimacy.
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Yeah, well one of them is wearing a bow tie and the black guy has a picture of himself in front of a plane.

I don't know if you've noticed this, but lawyers are often douchebags.
 
@Connor Bible Why even bother lying about how Outlook deletes emails dude? We all know you're full of shit. Post the fucking emails or I'll be there tonight.
 
autism420 said:
@Connor Bible Why even bother lying about how Outlook deletes emails dude? We all know you're full of shit. Post the fucking emails or I'll be there tonight.
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Not to mention that's such a tween excuse, right alongside "I didn't send you that mean message! My, uh, friend hacked my account!"

inb4: "My friend/Vordrak hacked my account, guys! It wasn't me posting!"
 
CatParty said:
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/upload_2016-5-31_14-4-33-png.100180/

kenneth with his gay pedophile bieber obsession

View attachment 100181
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Connor, our very own @Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt has a message for you. I'm sure you're familiar with Kemmeth's history but if not, let me give you a run down:

Kenneth is a mid-50's autistic man who is barely able to feed himself, let alone hold a job. He spent his life mooching off a wife until she left him and his parents until they died, and he has now taken to muslim extremism where he celebrates the work done by terrorists in burning POW's alive in cages. Kenneth is also a conspirator of Samuel Collingwood Smith and is letting his hatred for Null impact his professional life by tying his real name to his Kiwifarms account, and every other online service he has ever used.

You are on your way to becoming Kenneth Erwin Engelhardt, Connor. You're going to be a fat terrorist living in decrepit home with the bones of your parents for company.

This is not a future set in stone. You can stop this, Connor, and you can do it by releasing the god damned emails.
 
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