💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Jacks Dead Arm]

He'd have so much more money if he didn't have to use his Frequent Flyer Miles at the emergency room.

He whines about the price of ribs, as if half a rack of ribs with a side and you know they got an appetizer, wouldn't be enough food.

Then spends $9.99 on the buffalo wraps which is a worse ripoff price wise, but he gets FOUR of them instead of HALF a rack of ribs! Fucking Jack logic. I can't wait to see him on video. His eyes are going to be sunken and dark, his dead arm will be more discolored teetering on the color of a beet, and his slurring will be epic.

 

[Simon]

He whines about the price of ribs, as if half a rack of ribs with a side and you know they got an appetizer, wouldn't be enough food.

Then spends $9.99 on the buffalo wraps which is a worse ripoff price wise, but he gets FOUR of them instead of HALF a rack of ribs! Fucking Jack logic. I can't wait to see him on video. His eyes are going to be sunken and dark, his dead arm will be more discolored teetering on the color of a beet, and his slurring will be epic.

The next Cooking with Jack show

 

[Electric Mortar & Pestle]

Jack strikes me as the kind of guy to demand his entrée get taken back to the kitchen for correction and then drops one of these as he waddles out the door.

 

[Mechanical Pencil]

In regards to the concept of a Scalfatty homestead: the only image my brain wants to picture is Jack trying to mount a mid-sized tractor with his gimped out body. Seriously, just picture the living bowling ball hauling himself up to the seat. Comedy gold.
I kinda hate Jack for teasing us with such a milky sounding arc.

 

[Lou's Sentient Backfat]

In regards to the concept of a Scalfatty homestead: the only image my brain wants to picture is Jack trying to mount a mid-sized tractor with his gimped out body. Seriously, just picture the living bowling ball hauling himself up to the seat. Comedy gold.
I kinda hate Jack for teasing us with such a milky sounding arc.

Please, he'd just force mommywife Tamham to do it after she got done with her 8 hour workday. He would still post a video or facebook rant complaining that tractors need to be more accessible to human lard balls like himself while trying to frame it in some other way.

 

[AnOminous]

If Jack is talking about needing to poop, it probably means he's on heavy duty painkillers which will make you constipated. So he's still in ICU on intense pain medication, I am guessing Jack has most likely had heart surgery. Maybe a couple of stents placed in, some kind of bypass procedure, you can go up through a vein in the leg/crotch for those. I think if it was open heart surgery then he'd not be able to post to social media so soon.

I hope he's a gibbering retard and has lost the use of at least one other limb.

The next Cooking with Jack show

I hope his next episode is from HELL.

 

[p1138]

He whines about the price of ribs, as if half a rack of ribs with a side and you know they got an appetizer, wouldn't be enough food.

Then spends $9.99 on the buffalo wraps which is a worse ripoff price wise, but he gets FOUR of them instead of HALF a rack of ribs! Fucking Jack logic. I can't wait to see him on video. His eyes are going to be sunken and dark, his dead arm will be more discolored teetering on the color of a beet, and his slurring will be epic.

Of course he was happier with tendies wrapped in tortillas, because he got 4(2 cut in half). The ribs were only a half rack(with 2 sides), which obviously isn't enough for a single human being. 4 > half in mushbrain land. You'll also note that he mentioned he got a salad, and ate that first before getting to the tendies and tortillas yet there was no evidence of that on video and I don't believe for even a second he picked a salad over bacon cheese fries, bacon mashed potatoes, or whatever else they have.

 

[Counterfeit Obol]

I hope his next episode is from HELL.

It'd be pretty surprising if he made a sudden move to Michigan...

 

[realgone2]

He could sell the Cooking with Jack rights. Then they could have regional Jacks. Like Bozo the Clown or Ronald.

 

[RL Steinbeck]

It's kind of sad how easy it would be to simulate Jack.

And this is how Jack will live forever. Someone with the know-how needs to feed Jack’s entire social media footprint into machine learning and create an artificial Jack twitter account that will carry the torch once he finally kicks it. I would 100% follow Scalfani-bot.

There's going to be a buffet table before the coffin, so people can load up a plate before viewing his body.

Nah, buffet served on top of the casket. More surface area.

I hope his next episode is from HELL.

First thing he does is check the flame…

 

[Si vis pacem para bellum]

First thing he does is check the flame…

Then double ask satan if he can double the temperature and cook for half the time because he's gotta finish this upload so he can do Jack on the Damnation Ep 1.

 

[realgone2]

I seriously cannot believe companies would sponsor Jack. He recently had that audio/mic company. I'd take one look at his content and fire whomever suggested him to me.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

At any rate, they shouldn’t be upgrading, they should be downsizing. Something a single level so it’s easy to wheel an incapacitated fat man from room to room and something large enough to accommodate the eventual hospital bed, because it’s clear he has no interest in addressing his food addiction and insecurity issues.

The house is now too big for just him and Hammy. She can't take care of it all and you just know that Jagoff isn't lifting a finger to clean anything.

No the whole, "buy a new place on a new plot of land" is simply him buying into the prepper mindset that a lot of these turbo-Christians are all about thinking they can ride out the apocalypse before Jesus comes back. But you know that in reality Jagoff is just terrified that some Mexicans or black folk will start moving into his neighborhood.

It'd be pretty surprising if he made a sudden move to Michigan...

I seriously cannot believe companies would sponsor Jack. He recently had that audio/mic company. I'd take one look at his content and fire whomever suggested him to me.

Yeah but no. Each and every time he's said he's been "sponsored" it's actually meant he's bought the thing himself with Hammy's money and just said it's been donated because he wants to be seen like a big important Youtuber.

There was a point he claimed he was being promoted by "Profile by Sandford" which was fake he was promoting them, not the other way around. And when Hammy started her bookkeeping business he said he was sponsored by her in other words she supposedly gave him money to say her name on the show. When in reality it probably went down that he was being angy, she bought him a dozen cheeseburgers and as a thank you he'd promote her business.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Jack strikes me as the kind of guy to demand his entrée get taken back to the kitchen for correction and then drops one of these as he waddles out the door.View attachment 4460793

Whoever came up with the idea of tip baiting evangelizing needs to have their intestines ripped out and then shot into space.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

He could sell the Cooking with Jack rights. Then they could have regional Jacks. Like Bozo the Clown or Ronald.

Funny you mention selling the rights.

A few years ago he was looking to sell his BBQ sauce line. Being curious, I inquired as to the selling price, figuring there wouldn't be much to it.

Here's his reply, copy and pasted direct from my DMs,

Let me give you the Reader's Digest version. We are selling the company for $100,000. That’s all my recipes it’s all the assets including artwork website and everything. We are offering non-exclusive lifetime licensing to each recipe for $25K. That means you can make it for your entire life but is not exclusive your recipe.

 

[Fascist Frederick]

Funny you mention selling the rights.

A few years ago he was looking to sell his BBQ sauce line. Being curious, I inquired as to the selling price, figuring there wouldn't be much to it.

Here's his reply, copy and pasted direct from my DMs,

Well that explains why I never got a response when I offered him 40 bucks for the company.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

Well that explains why I never got a response when I offered him 40 bucks for the company.

I said I was thinking maybe $500 for the trademark and recipe. Plus I wanted exclusivity as I would own it. He never replied.

 

[MarineN*4235431]

I seriously cannot believe companies would sponsor Jack. He recently had that audio/mic company. I'd take one look at his content and fire whomever suggested him to me.

for a freakshow i see it toally happening

 

[Harlow]

 

[Hollywood Hulk Hogan]

Jack strikes me as the kind of guy to demand his entrée get taken back to the kitchen for correction and then drops one of these as he waddles out the door.View attachment 4460793

Jesus would be really, really pissed at American Evangelicals