💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Girl Named Sandoz]

They'll have to find a restaurant with a big parking lot, so they can take the whole funeral procession through the drive-thru.

It's what he would have wanted.

the lot has to be full though. that's how you know it's a good funeral

 

[Windows XP Home Edition]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=68RobESiy4Q
New JOTG

Why would Tammy choose goat meat? I don't dislike goat, but it's a very boney meat and if not cooked/prepared properly, it can be a very unpleasant culinary experience. I remember having goat curry a few times as a kid and nearly choking from the ton of bone marrows in it. Lamb is a much better choice since it's delicious like beef yet more lean and healthy. In Anglo-Indian cuisine, lamb goes really well in Jalfrezi and Rogan josh curries and minced lamb is also great in samosas. You'll be hard-pressed to find an Indian restaurant without any lamb dishes here in the UK. However, I don't imagine there's a big Indian/Southern Asian immigrant in the US like the UK and I doubt Americans really consume much lamb either.

P.S. It isn't "garlic bread" Jack, it's called Naan you uncultured swine.

 

[Rabid Weasels]

Jack actually died and his body is occupied by a skinwalker. Unlike most skinwalkers, though, it fails to be convincing as Jack because it can actually speak normally and not like a brain-damaged retard.

I think it is physically posting from his phone using his tongue while tammy is out of the room. It is gathering strength to hurl his body out of bed and hurple it onto the next Wars Tour.

 

[Not At All A Lizard]

https://youtube.com/watch?v=YY2bmGpza5Q
To add insult to injury, the duck continues to dunk on Jagoff on youtube.

Not gonna lie, i saw this video this morning, and it feels like duckman is digging a little deep here.
Yes it looks gross, but when your two killer points are "What if you'd drink all the butter from the pan?" and "Using only salt and pepper? How could you eat this?" you should probably leave it alone.

People underseason their food sure, but when you start saying you need at least 5 seasonings to eat some chicken, you're getting into Starbucks coffee syrup territory. It's becoming the new obnoxious thing among these amateur food critics.

 

[p1138]

Not gonna lie, i saw this video this morning, and it feels like duckman is digging a little deep here.
Yes it looks gross, but when your two killer points are "What if you'd drink all the butter from the pan?" and "Using only salt and pepper? How could you eat this?" you should probably leave it alone.

People underseason their food sure, but when you start saying you need at least 5 seasonings to eat some chicken, you're getting into Starbucks coffee syrup territory. It's becoming the new obnoxious thing among these amateur food critics.

Nevermind the fact that the cream of chicken soup mess is loaded with salt and seasonings, so apparently he just didn't think of that. He also made a few comments toward the beginning about how it wasn't any butter chicken he had ever seen or something along those lines... well no shit.

That said, since it seems that guy is sick with something it's probably just easy crap to churn out to play the algorithm.

 

[100BitchHere]

Not gonna lie, i saw this video this morning, and it feels like duckman is digging a little deep here.
Yes it looks gross, but when your two killer points are "What if you'd drink all the butter from the pan?" and "Using only salt and pepper? How could you eat this?" you should probably leave it alone.

People underseason their food sure, but when you start saying you need at least 5 seasonings to eat some chicken, you're getting into Starbucks coffee syrup territory. It's becoming the new obnoxious thing among these amateur food critics.

August, and quite frankly a lot of people here, don't know what the fuck they're talking about when it comes to preparing food and just criticize just to criticize.

 

[ddlloo]

just criticize just to criticize.

It's pretty prevalent site wide, usually it's over-moralizing and not about their cooking though heh.

 

[p1138]

August, and quite frankly a lot of people here, don't know what the fuck they're talking about when it comes to preparing food and just criticize just to criticize.

Sure but to be fair, Jack's cooking is so fucking bad that it's apparent to most people he's doing things wrong or halfassed. It doesn't take a professional chef to see what Jack does, realize it's dumb, and come to the conclusion they'd never want to eat any of the slop that he makes.

That said, Jack's cooking isn't the worst thing about him and most of the general public isn't aware of who Fatty really is. Kay's cooking(also vile slop) gets critiqued by some chefs, random youtubers, etc. but I've never heard anything about her that makes her into the total package of shit that Jack is, and that's why most of us are in this thread afterall.

 

[Padoru]

August, and quite frankly a lot of people here, don't know what the fuck they're talking about when it comes to preparing food and just criticize just to criticize.

yup you can tell when you see Jack cook half-raw chicken again and everybody screams "OH MY GOOD THERE'S BLOOD IN THERE" no there's not. At the temps used Blood would long have become completely solid and the red liquid we see is simply liquid protein, which itself is actually not even dangerous. The issue with his chicken comes from the meat itself but everybody focuses on things that aren't even there

 

[A Cardboard Box]

August, and quite frankly a lot of people here, don't know what the fuck they're talking about when it comes to preparing food and just criticize just to criticize.

Yeah chef Brian does it better, because he knows what he's talking about, but my problem with the duck is just the fact that every single video is "Wow this is gross. Haha see how gross? Very nasty. Wow that's a lot of cheese. Too much cheese," because the videos are low effort and get half a million views, and there's absolutely no incentive to do anything else. Watching amateurs or non-cooks experience party cheese salad or medium rare chicken for the first time is funny because the reactions are genuine and they're legitimately shocked and disgusted. Watching some dude say the same shit about awful meal number 37 is significantly less funny.

 

[a terminal posture]

Not gonna lie, i saw this video this morning, and it feels like duckman is digging a little deep here.
Yes it looks gross, but when your two killer points are "What if you'd drink all the butter from the pan?" and "Using only salt and pepper? How could you eat this?" you should probably leave it alone.

People underseason their food sure, but when you start saying you need at least 5 seasonings to eat some chicken, you're getting into Starbucks coffee syrup territory. It's becoming the new obnoxious thing among these amateur food critics.

His commentary is always weak. This is a 'butter chicken' recipe that is even more minimal than Jack's and is absolutely delicious (I've made it several times):

It works because you create a huge amount of fond which makes the gravy incredibly flavorful without the need for 'seasonings'. Jack's recipe fails because it doesn't even make sense as a recipe (or he butchered it beyond recognition).

 

[A Cardboard Box]

His commentary is always weak. This is a 'butter chicken' recipe that is even more minimal than Jack's and is absolutely delicious (I've made it several times):

https://youtube.com/watch?v=89raKWahLXs
It works because you create a huge amount of fond which makes the gravy incredibly flavorful without the need for 'seasonings'. Jack's recipe fails because it doesn't even make sense as a recipe (or he butchered it beyond recognition).

90% of Jack's "take thing and dunk in sauce before baking in oven" recipes could be made edible if he cooked things the proper amount of time and placed said things on a rack over a pan to catch drippings. It's like the buttermilk chicken marinade, if he just allowed the excess liquid and fat to go somewhere, it would be mostly fine. My only legitimate concern with the butter chicken recipe is the like, ten grams of salt in it.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Why would Tammy choose goat meat? I don't dislike goat, but it's a very boney meat and if not cooked/prepared properly, it can be a very unpleasant culinary experience. I remember having goat curry a few times as a kid and nearly choking from the ton of bone marrows in it. Lamb is a much better choice since it's delicious like beef yet more lean and healthy. In Anglo-Indian cuisine, lamb goes really well in Jalfrezi and Rogan josh curries and minced lamb is also great in samosas. You'll be hard-pressed to find an Indian restaurant without any lamb dishes here in the UK. However, I don't imagine there's a big Indian/Southern Asian immigrant in the US like the UK and I doubt Americans really consume much lamb either.

P.S. It isn't "garlic bread" Jack, it's called Naan you uncultured swine.

I thought Jagoff chose it and she was just trying it for the first time? I'm not going back to check either way.

And lamb isn't a huge part of people's lives over here. The only time I really saw lamb, or mutton, in an Indian joint was back in Japan. Here whenever we do a an Indian takeout it's always chicken. I've never seen goat and often times there's just one lamb dish on it.

Not gonna lie, i saw this video this morning, and it feels like duckman is digging a little deep here.
Yes it looks gross, but when your two killer points are "What if you'd drink all the butter from the pan?" and "Using only salt and pepper? How could you eat this?" you should probably leave it alone.

People underseason their food sure, but when you start saying you need at least 5 seasonings to eat some chicken, you're getting into Starbucks coffee syrup territory. It's becoming the new obnoxious thing among these amateur food critics.

August isn't a cook and a lot of his comments on Jagoff are things we've heard a hundred times before. He's just pointing and laughing at the gimp like we are.

Kay's cooking(also vile slop) gets critiqued by some chefs, random youtubers, etc. but I've never heard anything about her that makes her into the total package of shit that Jack is, and that's why most of us are in this thread afterall.

Kay knows her food is shit and that she can't cook but Jagoff honestly believes he deserves to be on TV cooking his slop like all those stand and stir shows on the Food Network. That's the difference. She's just crap at what she does but he's delusional.

This is a 'butter chicken' recipe that is even more minimal than Jack's and is absolutely delicious (I've made it several times):

This is also the difference between somebody who knows what they're doing and somebody like Jagoff who doesn't.

There's care taken in this recipe. There's understanding of different cooking techniques. He knows that the flavor for this comes from the fond. Jagoff just sees lots of meat and grease and that's all that matters.

 

[p1138]

His commentary is always weak. This is a 'butter chicken' recipe that is even more minimal than Jack's and is absolutely delicious (I've made it several times):

https://youtube.com/watch?v=89raKWahLXs
It works because you create a huge amount of fond which makes the gravy incredibly flavorful without the need for 'seasonings'. Jack's recipe fails because it doesn't even make sense as a recipe (or he butchered it beyond recognition).

Sure but that actually looks edible, and if you have any basic understanding of cooking it'll probably come out fine. The guy doing the cooking in that video saw the recipe and understood the basic techniques being used. Fatty on the other hand would have fucked even that recipe up, still claimed that it's "gud" and been happy for an hour shoveling grease covered chicken into his face.

Jack doesn't understand:
Browning
Fond
Roux/Gravy
Breaking a sauce
Food Safety
Reading

Hell, he doubled the butter in the recipe he failed at following for absolutely no reason. No sane person would have assumed 2 sticks of butter in that pan would have resulted in anything coming out decent. 1 stick is already a lot, but not for fatty. I'm surprised he didn't add cheese to it since his 2 other favorite food groups, meat and grease were present.

 

[Rubber Plant]

They'll have to find a restaurant with a big parking lot, so they can take the whole funeral procession through the drive-thru.

It's what he would have wanted.

There's going to be a buffet table before the coffin, so people can load up a plate before viewing his body.

 

[Jacks Dead Arm]

There's going to be a buffet table before the coffin, so people can load up a plate before viewing his body.

Ideally the buffet is nothing but Jack's famous recipes.

 

[A Cardboard Box]

Sure but that actually looks edible, and if you have any basic understanding of cooking it'll probably come out fine. The guy doing the cooking in that video saw the recipe and understood the basic techniques being used. Fatty on the other hand would have fucked even that recipe up, still claimed that it's "gud" and been happy for an hour shoveling grease covered chicken into his face.

Jack doesn't understand:
Browning
Fond
Roux/Gravy
Breaking a sauce
Food Safety
Reading

Hell, he doubled the butter in the recipe he failed at following for absolutely no reason. No sane person would have assumed 2 sticks of butter in that pan would have resulted in anything coming out decent. 1 stick is already a lot, but not for fatty. I'm surprised he didn't add cheese to it since his 2 other favorite food groups, meat and grease were present.

One thing I consistently find amusing is his insistence on using butter on everything but his refusal to just, you know, use a fucking brush lmao.

 

[stupidpieceofshit]

And lamb isn't a huge part of people's lives over here. The only time I really saw lamb, or mutton, in an Indian joint was back in Japan. Here whenever we do a an Indian takeout it's always chicken. I've never seen goat and often times there's just one lamb dish on it.

In my very white geographical area, Lamb is as common as chicken in Indian restaurants, one near me surprisingly does goat.
Then again the area historically had a high Mediterranean and middle eastern immigration so lamb dishes were not unheard of.

But as far as the wider US I would suspect the most lamb people are exposed to/know of are lamb chops.

 

[AnOminous]

But as far as the wider US I would suspect the most lamb people are exposed to/know of are lamb chops.

Or leg of lamb. Roast leg of lamb is a fairly common holiday special (because it is relatively expensive).

yup you can tell when you see Jack cook half-raw chicken again and everybody screams "OH MY GOOD THERE'S BLOOD IN THERE" no there's not. At the temps used Blood would long have become completely solid and the red liquid we see is simply liquid protein, which itself is actually not even dangerous.

I seriously doubt the internal temperature of that McCormick bag chicken was even above 90 degrees much less enough to denature protein.

 

[Lenzperkins]