Defendant: Ethan Oliver Ralph - Ethan Ralph's Documented Legal Troubles & Other Court Docs

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XxTardWranglerxX said:
Thinking Ralph's going to jail today is cope. His priors might give them leverage to lock him up, but prosecutors/judge wont.
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Unless he pleads guilty to an actual crime, which he'd be dumber than he is to do, that's not even on the table, so yeah, something impossible isn't going to happen. If he's arraigned he'd be bound over for trial. He'll take any deal that doesn't violate his probation unless he's a complete retard.
 
It's a good thing that he did all that community service, he can surely get away with murder now!

"Well, my client did put pedestrians in risk of getting killed or paralyzed but he also picked up a couple of cans off the sidewalk..."

EDIT: Now that i think about it, i don't remember if he actually did community service or not...
 
Your honah, now that I might be inconvenienced, I have decided to pay child support for the first time in ovah a year, and picked up some cans. Here’s my wrist, go ahead and slap it again. I’m a good little piggy.
 
Tweet the massive win already Ralph, you got us worried over here. I have champagne ready to pop on your mark.
 
The question isn't if he will go to jail for his criminal speeding, the question is if the charge against him will remain criminal or if it will get knocked down to a noncriminal violation. If it gets knocked down at any point then maybe the worst that happens is he gets a suspended license. It's the possibility of criminal charges that is most immediately dangerous for him.

If this was an isolated case of reckless driving it would almost certainly be dropped to a violation with a large fine. But his driving record is very bad, there's a good chance they do go after him on the criminal charges. I think the real factor is on the actual circumstances of his speeding. If it's a slam dunk type scenario it might be in the prosecutor's interest to go after an easy conviction. The only real advantage he has is that the judicial system is really averse to locking up dangerous people until they do something like murder someone, and even then they're still hesitant to give them what they deserve. The book only ever gets thrown at people who make honest mistakes.

It doesn't matter if his criminal punishment has zero jail time attached to it, any new criminal conviction should un-suspend the suspended sentence. But even if he gets a conviction there's still the question of if they will even go through with enforcing the suspended sentence.
 
AnOminous said:
Unless he pleads guilty to an actual crime, which he'd be dumber than he is to do, that's not even on the table, so yeah, something impossible isn't going to happen. If he's arraigned he'd be bound over for trial. He'll take any deal that doesn't violate his probation unless he's a complete retard.
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This is Ethan Ralph. He's stupid enough to argue and escalate his way to a Public Execution for a traffic ticket.
 
AnOminous said:
Unless he pleads guilty to an actual crime, which he'd be dumber than he is to do, that's not even on the table, so yeah, something impossible isn't going to happen. If he's arraigned he'd be bound over for trial. He'll take any deal that doesn't violate his probation unless he's a complete retard.
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RodgerDodger said:
This is Ethan Ralph. He's stupid enough to argue and escalate his way to a Public Execution for a traffic ticket.
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You think the Ralphamale can't do the impossible? He could have died in that court room and he would have lived! You fucking coward!
 
RodgerDodger said:
This is Ethan Ralph. He's stupid enough to argue and escalate his way to a Public Execution for a traffic ticket.
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MeltyTW said:
You think the Ralphamale can't do the impossible? He could have died in that court room and he would have lived! You fucking coward!
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As the Bailiff decides that it is time to take justice into his own hands he pulls out his beating stick and turns to the judge exclaiming "HIDE AND WATCH ME, BITCH". The Bailiff then proceeds to fix Ralph's fucked up eyes by making the undamaged one symmetrical.
 
Can't wait for a sequel to the God's Plan video, only with Meigh driving because Ralph got his license revoked.
 
He’s hoping the judge will think he’s a good boy who definitely thought about doing community service and down grade it to traffic court. He might drag the horse, a crying baby and whimper/squirt tears to really sell it. Bonus points if he tells the judge he doesn’t even want to live in this bullshit state and will definitely leave it if you just let him pay a small fine.

He can then show the judge there’s no need for any concern about about reckless driving in the future. Ralph will don his his black cowboy hat, saddle up May and trot off hollering, "I don't even need no fucking license, do you hear me motherfucker?!?
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
He can then show the judge there’s no need for any concern about about reckless driving in the future. Ralph will don his his black cowboy hat, saddle up May and trot off hollering, "I don't even need no fucking license, do you hear me motherfucker?!?
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pignhorse.jpg
 
He squirmed out of it again. Are we surprised?

We are sort of seething Ralph. Part of us wants to see you go to jail and the other wants us to see you on the outside making more fuck ups. It is a dichotomy we live in as supporters of your retiredness.

Just remember when something happens later this year, you'll remember you could have been in jail instead and it would have been better for you.

Later.
 
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