Defendant: Ethan Oliver Ralph - Ethan Ralph's Documented Legal Troubles & Other Court Docs

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Good morning my fellow Ralphamales

How we feeling on this glorious day? Be prepared for the judge, a huge fan of the killstream btw, to apologize to Ethan Ralph for the inconvenience of this silly nonsense about speeding. In fact Ralph will be given a court order to be able to speed wherever he wants!

Cope and seethe bitches!
 
MadStan said:
On the bright side, losing his license could see him finally walk a bit and loss some of those extra pounds. He could even try taking there kid in a stroller once in while on the way to the fast food joints.
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He ain’t walking, he’s going to be a passenger-side man getting ferried around by his gorl like a special needs case. It’s gonna be real cute the next time he rolls up to someone’s house to start shit and has to walk around the car and tell Pantsu “it’s time to leave now please” instead of peeling out like a total badass.

Maybe he’ll get a taste of his own medicine when Pedoparty tells him to eat a dick or call an Uber when he needs a ride to the airport to see Xander.
 
Reotardo da Vinci said:
He ain’t walking, he’s going to be a passenger-side man getting ferried around by his gorl like a special needs case. It’s gonna be real cute the next time he rolls up to someone’s house to start shit and has to walk around the car and tell Pantsu “it’s time to leave now please” instead of peeling out like a total badass.

Maybe he’ll get a taste of his own medicine when Pedoparty tells him to eat a dick or call an Uber when he needs a ride to the airport to see Xander.
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As funny as this sounds, he'll definitely drive with a suspended license. This time he'll have no inhibitions, if he gets busted at all it's the same punishment.
Some people hold onto the parking brake to drift, he holds onto the Maker's Mark to swerve.
 
He’s not going to mention getting his licenses suspended. I expect he’s going to turn it into a win, deny he lost his license, and then stream himself drunk driving while claiming the haters in fan fiction farms are at it again while we helplessly post the court records

Ralphamales we can’t stop winning
 
If he gets a suspended license, he'll no doubt continue to drive which is far more likely to cause him to wind up in jail especially with a suspended license. I just don't see him letting Meigh drive him places more than a few times. And if he did, imagine the hollering he'd be doing when he didn't like her driving particularly finding it not aggro enough.
 
If this ends with him getting locked up (it won't) or when he eventually gets locked up for some other shit then that will be sad because he is my favorite lolcow and I enjoy hearing about his antics which is why I find the efforts by some to tip the cow very obnoxious. On the other hand I've seen youtube videos by inmates who smuggle in a smart phone w/camera, and that would have the potential for some genuine kino provided Gunt doesn't have his stuff stolen by some niglord.
 
XxTardWranglerxX said:
Thinking Ralph's going to jail today is cope. His priors might give them leverage to lock him up, but prosecutors/judge wont.
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I tend to agree, though not because he doesn't deserve it, but because of how pathetically harmless he is in any situation other than behind a wheel.

He is a gigantic pussy and ridiculously feeble, physically. Hollerin is literally his first, last and only line of both offense and defense, so he's probably considered a waste of resources to put behind bars.

Driving is the only time he is a true danger to others, and that license should be removed permanently, but even then I wouldn't hold my breath, they might just give him community service and a fine and just hope it all works out until he kills an innocent family while driving high on coke.
Obscura539 said:
I'm hoping he gets off with a slap on the wrist and immediately speeds off and gets caught again.
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This is the most likely scenario.
 
Whether Ralph actually goes to jail, or not (he won't) is moot. He's already in a prison of his own making. So sit back, grab a beverage, kick your feet up, and laugh while counting yourself lucky you don't have to live a single day as the gunt.
 
The teflon gunt will waddle out of this situation and into the next court case without learning a thing. I'm pretty sure Ethans retarded brother is the smartest in the family
 
Gina Gillotti said:
If he gets a suspended license, he'll no doubt continue to drive which is far more likely to cause him to wind up in jail especially with a suspended license. I just don't see him letting Meigh drive him places more than a few times. And if he did, imagine the hollering he'd be doing when he didn't like her driving particularly finding it not aggro enough.
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Exactly, this fat nigger isn't doing anything but dodge whatever fine he's given.
He'll yell at the judge to suck a bag of dicks before he abides by any punishment he's given.
 
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