REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!
Liz Fong-Jones has been credibly accused of rape
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Even if he did get it back somebody would just con him out of it with magical beans or something.
Life after prison - What happens if Chris is One Day released from prison
- Thread starter GypsyBard
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- Jun 25, 2013
Honestly Chris should have been in a group home a long time ago. It's probably unlikely even now due to Virginia's wacky mental health system but I don't know if they'd take him with the kind of criminal record he has or the limited funding.
I can see Chris giving some random ween $7,000+ for what he's been told are real Chaos Emeralds, after all, he got conned out of a similar amount because of a moon laser or something.
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- May 2, 2018
Lemme tell you whats going to happen bruh. Kim Jong Un is actually a secret ween and got North Korean secret agents waiting outside the jail and they gonna kidnap Chris and bring him over to Pyongyang zoo and show Chris as the tard American for personal Luls and propaganda purposes.
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- Feb 22, 2013
Tomorrow, February 3.
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- Feb 22, 2013
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- Aug 12, 2016
The stupid thing is, it doesn’t have to be the prospect of gaining something. Threaten the loss of something imaginary, and he’ll play along.
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- Sep 6, 2013
Given how Chris has been begging in his letters for donations to pay off his jail commissary tab, I suspect he isn't getting his tugboat in jail. It may have been turned off, or it may be accumulating somewhere, but it seems he, at least, doesn't have access to it.
Or he could be lying to get money from weens. I can definitely see Chris lying like that, though I'm not sure he's cunning enough to think up such a grift.
In theory. In reality, this is Chris. Someone will need to thread the process on his behalf. Likely this will be whatever tard home he is placed in, and they will only be doing it so they can pay themselves out of Chris' back tugboat.
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- Aug 2, 2021
Both of these are plausible. He's cut off from normal banking, he has to have someone else transfer money for him. He may not even realize his tugboat is accumulating, or if it isn't he may not realize the reason why.
Or he could be literally spending ALL his tugboat on commissary to avoid eating jail food.
He's been begging for money for years, it's not like it's new behavior.
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- Sep 6, 2013
He's not completely cut off. Chris can set up a payment program himself, especially if he has access to his bank cards or knows the numbers. I would be very surprised if the bank commissary doesn't accept visa branded debit cards. Chris could be begging simply because he's too lazy to do the paperwork.
$1200 a month is a LOT of commissary food. That would probably kill me, but I suspect decades of Sheetz and McDonalds has granted Chris a degree of immunity.
True, but this is a new excuse for begging from him. Usually it's the mortgage or "some lego", not: "Chris needs commissary candy."
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- Jan 1, 2022
Chris won't be able to use the internet
Hell be incredibly restricted in who he sees or does
Sex offenders classes and register for minimum ten years
It's very punitive
And the fact he's not capable of showing remorse they might not even allow him out
Hell be incredibly restricted in who he sees or does
Sex offenders classes and register for minimum ten years
It's very punitive
And the fact he's not capable of showing remorse they might not even allow him out
- Joined
- Aug 12, 2016
Does begging for ween money even though he has a tugboat really take Moriarty levels of cleverness? He used to do that grift with taking stuff back to stores after he got them on sale (or some shit).
“Barbichu totaled the car” money. I think one of the letters said he wanted money for a car.
How will he be stopped? Honest question.
Not impossible, but unlikely.
Nonsense.
Ser Ciappelletto
kiwifarms.net
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"I'll send in secret police. I'll send in Stasi. I'll send in EVDRYTHING IN MY POWER!!!"
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- Jan 1, 2022
They control everything you do when you get out via probation
And actually yeah for sex crimes
It's part of the rehabilitation
If he gets anything under three years he will be out on license, ten years with a review
Longer than that I don't think it expires
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- Sep 6, 2013
I'm talking specifically about the "I have no money for commissary candy" excuse.
Begging comes naturally to Chris. Thinking up new excuses for begging (or any kind of thinking) does not.
Begging for car money is old hat to Chris. I think his second jail letter mentioned needing $100 to settle his jail commissary tab, which was before Barb killed her van.
How the fuck the jail commissary let Chris run up a $100 tab I don't even know.
The same way you would stop a four year old from using the internet. I'm not joking here. I think I answered this in another thread, but it bears repeating.
Internet connectivity is not free. Someone has to pay for it, so don't pay for it for Chris. If whatever tard home he is placed in will know he is barred from the internet, so he will not be given the tard home WiFi password, nor will he be allowed on the tard home computers (which likely will be monopolized by the other residents regardless). He would have to pay for his own smart phone or computer plus connectivity plan. With the tard home taking the lion's share of his tugboat, he will much rather spend the meager remaining allowance on candy and "some lego". The home's tardmobile will likely not be including the local library on their weekly trips into town for meds, doctor appointments, and light shopping; do you really see Chris walking there on his own?
it would be difficult to keep yourself or anyone else here on these forums off the internet, but Chris should be fairly easy to manage.
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- May 2, 2018
Doesn't Chris have a bunch of subscriptions for streaming services, some Japanese snack delivery, magic rocks etc? If his bank account is in the red by the time of him going to jail, he might have overdraft issues right?
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- Aug 2, 2021
It is incredibly unlikely that he will be banned from the internet, seeing as how his crimes did not involve the internet at all. Already even for online sex offenders, it's difficult to be totally banned from the internet, and instead you're just banned from social media and certain websites that involve children.
Chris is not charged with anything that puts him on the sex offender registry by default. The only way he will be put on the SOR is if they assert that Barb was so incapacitated that she was unable to communicate a refusal of consent. i.e. she was unconscious, hallucinating, or physically paralyzed. It is not enough for her to be demented and making bad decisions, she had to be so far gone that she had no idea what was going on.
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- Sep 6, 2013
That said, you know the court really, REALLY wants to.
We already know they are well aware of the weens. They have to know: Chris + Internet = A lot of unnecessary work for the courts.
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- Aug 2, 2021
Oh sure, they *want* to, but honestly it's such a staple of modern life that even prisoners are getting limited internet access now. It will no longer be a requirement for probation in the same way they can't ban you from writing letters or making phone calls when you're on probation.
You'll have the internet even in prison, within a few years, all jails and prisons will have some form of heavily-filtered/firewalled internet access.
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- Sep 6, 2013
It all depends on what Chris agrees to as part of the plea deal. The prosecution could have a whole shopping list of things they're hoping Heilberg will agree to.
Of course what it really depends on is what the court bothers to enforce.