🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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Slimy Time said:
Two black eyes, at least one of which is an orbital fracture, his nose looks like it's been broken, he's got something with the jaw as well that his scruffy beard hides. Can't tell with the teeth, he's so fat that it's not immediately obvious and I feel the wigger in him would mention it.

I've seen MMA fighters get the shit kicked out of them for 25 minutes and look only slightly worse than what Ralph looks here after maybe a minute tops of getting smacked.
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Maybe 2 or 3 lacerations and some forehead bruising, otherwise, not too far off. Guy on the right isn't his friend, it's the guy who fucked his face up for 25 mins. Difference is, that's 25 minutes of someone wanting to knock him out. Does beg the question of how badly did this guy want to smash Ralph's face in to make him look like that?

Edit: the swelling around his face reminds me of what I looked like after having teeth extracted the day after. Almost box like in the swelling. Now I'm really thinking he might have lost a tooth or two.
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Yeah I still think he did some dumb drunk wigger shit to personally piss someone off. I don’t at all believe his 4v1 story but that looks like too bad a beating for a random mugging. Whoever fucked him up was very displeased with him.
Even if he is supposedly just out of surgery there would have been a lot more boasting by now about his epic battle against 4 Portuguese locals.
 
Can't tell if those black eyes look more like batman with the cowl off or Mac as the night man in IASIP.


Just kidding, he's both, he's fat night man.
 
franz said:
too bad he ruined it with that bullshit story about chasing down bad guys and "fighting too hard"
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Even so, posting pictures of his injuries was a good move, and he should post more of them. In fact, he should post a picture of himself smiling, to show this fan forum he’s not defeated.

EDIT: You know what? Ethan needs to do a video message from the hospital room.
 
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Can we stop focusing on the murse and START focusing on figuring out how to get our hands on the police report? That's where the real lolmilk is. Does anyone know how to get a copy of it from the cops in Lisbon? We need to see Ralph's statement. There's less of a chance that he'd lie to the cops if he wants to catch the woman who beat him up.
 
Oh god he looks ridiculous.
Dawn of the final day(of dignity).jpg
But all the talk of people wanting to buy the fucking bag is giving me some major Chris-Chan retard ween vibes. Why would anyone pay a cent for the stupid bag, it should go into a landfill where it belongs.
Shelling out hundreds of dollars to a criminal for some dysfunctional alcoholic's man purse is really, really dumb and cringeworthy, and I don't think anyone is owning Ethan Ralph by acknowledging that him having owned something massively inflates its value.

In fact now that I'm thinking about it, dumping a bunch of cash on useless garbage in an attempt to own other people sounds suspiciously like the kind of thing Ralph would pull.

#KillAllPedos said:
I’m not gonna lie, posting pictures of his injuries makes him look like a badass. It shows he’s not hiding anything, and that he’s not ashamed. Gotta give credit where it’s due.
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Idk, I feel like posting pictures of his injuries makes him look like a dude for whom getting injured is novel so he wants to take the opportunity to show it off.

Normal men who actually do shit get injuries constantly, it's an unremarkable part of life. No, they don't generally get injured that badly, but still, every time you get hurt or get a scar it's a little bit embarrassing to go running to people going "Look look at me I got hurt like the big boys do!" especially when the injury was a result of your own stupidity.
 
#KillAllPedos said:
Even so, posting pictures of his injuries was a good move, and he should post more of them. In fact, he should post a picture of himself smiling, to show this fan forum he’s not defeated.

EDIT: You know what? Ethan needs to do a video message from the hospital room.
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That jaw looks wired shut, my friend.
 
Null brought up an interesting point in today's MATI, look at the scar on Ralph's head which I've highlighted in red.
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We can add Mossad to the list of suspects who have motive to beat up Ralph. Maybe this was the last thing the Gunt saw before things went black and the Jews showed him how much they hate pork.
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Uberpenguin said:
Oh god he looks ridiculous.
View attachment 2929545
But all the talk of people wanting to buy the fucking bag is giving me some major Chris-Chan retard ween vibes. Why would anyone pay a cent for the stupid bag, it should go into a landfill where it belongs.
Shelling out hundreds of dollars to a criminal for some dysfunctional alcoholic's man purse is really, really dumb and cringeworthy, and I don't think anyone is owning Ethan Ralph by acknowledging that him having owned something massively inflates its value.
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While I agree buying it to own Ralph is autistic and dumb, it would still be fucking hilarious if someone bought it and gave it to Josh or Andy as a trophy.
 
CECA Loather said:
Oh, Ralph. I don't understand why you decided to display your bashed in face for all the see and make the haydurs find reason to laugh at you and make it into a meme. At this rate, this new face of his will replace the Knoxville gunt picture.

As for his story, I think him saying that he underwent surgery to make himself look more like a Mongol to celebrate the Lunar New Year is way more plausible. His eyes are slitter than mine and his face is now round instead of lumpy.

View attachment 2929471

He now looks like the contestants I see competing in a Naadam festival if the contestants aren't wearing eyeliner and mascara.
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Ummmm that is Zeke the Plumber without his hat.
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Tommy's Mom said:
That jaw looks wired shut, my friend.
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it's hard to tell until he says as much or we hear him talk mainly because he's so fat, I'm thin and when I had my jaw wired from a motorcycle accident you couldn't even tell. The biggest L for ralph is not being able to stuff his mouth with fine garbage burgers for a while if so
 
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