🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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A Cardboard Box said:
Where the fuck does this happen to you people? I spent literally a year living out of a backpack in slums across southeast Asia and eastern Europe and I never got mugged or jumped.
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You didn't visit the dark allies loudly demanding underage pussy like ralph prob did
 
i showed you my gunt plz respond.png

"i showed you my gunt, please respond"
 
AnOminous said:
It's one thing to be threatened with such things by autistic Internet speds, but actually getting your skull shattered to the point you need bone surgery just so your eyeball doesn't pop out of your head and fall on the floor is an entirely different thing.
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If you’ve ever been around sawed off short belligerent manlets, Ralph’s behavior is predictable. I guarantee if you square up on him and he’s not drunk, you’ll see fear in his eyes and he’ll back right the fuck up. He’s been beat badly At Least once before. Meigh could back him up no problem. I’d feel sorry for him if he wasn’t a threat to women, children, the elderly, animals, and his fellow drivers when he’s drunk.
Bit here’s the thing. I’d go so far as to speculate that given this Lisbon experience, and the fact that he lives in a really bad part of town, Gunter the Felon is stupid enough to illegally obtain an illegal firearm for protection after all this, if he hasn’t had one all along. Mark my words on this. He is that kind of stupid. Meigh would do him a huge service by getting rid of that shit now.
 
Truly Rural said:
It's possible that there is some hint of truth in both gunts and sellers lie. Let's say drunken Ralph was having fun in some bar, and his purse was idling on some table or chair. Alleged thug saw it (found it) and decided to collect it peacefully (mugging). Gunt noticed and starts yelling and approaching him (chased him down) and ends up beaten halfway to death cos he escalated the situation like a wigger he is.
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Yeah this seems likely. They likely just yanked it from him I think. Literal purse snatching and when he may have tried to pursue hes given a punch to the face, a boot stomp on his face and then they bail. I certainly don't think he was lured anywhere or he'd have been left completely with nothing. We also.dont know how he was found or whether he got to the hospital himself. I've lived overseas for 2 years and still can't remember the emergency number here, certainly not if I was absolutely wasted.

It was all likely quite public and over in 60s, until some good samaritan peeled him off the floor and phoned the hospital.
 
Keranu said:
Hate to be the autistic sperg to say it, but someone did mention that many pages ago. It's surprising more people aren't talking about that though, I think you're right. The scarring seems consistent with the shape and placement of his gay Ray bands.

I think at least one of those black eyes is from a kick while he was down (well i guess it wouldnt be hard to kick the guntlet in the face while standing). Probably the eye with the bandage above the brow.
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We need pics post-op, I’m sure the swelling and discoloration is horrendous.
 
Truly Rural said:
It's possible that there is some hint of truth in both gunts and sellers lie. Let's say drunken Ralph was having fun in some bar, and his purse was idling on some table or chair. Alleged thug saw it (found it) and decided to collect it peacefully (mugging). Gunt noticed and starts yelling and approaching him (chased him down) and ends up beaten halfway to death cos he escalated the situation like a wigger he is.
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That mugger must have been a fat fuck for the gunt to catch up to him, I doubt a thief or his buddies would kick the shit out of Ralph this bad. This is a pretty serious beating with alot of hate when it came to stomping him down. Him and his past exploits of prostitution and his taste for young women could be the reason why he got his eyes smashed in, either he got too handsy with a girl, didn't pay or just conned by a local who tricks sick and perverted tourists into going into a "brothel" that in reality was the set up place to mug and beat these individuals.

Either way we'll never know, unless the seller who has the bag spills the beans which I doubt.
 
MirnaMinkoff said:
There’s a chance Andy managed to buy it. Fingers crossed. I mean Josh deserves the murse trophy too but since the Lisbon trip only happened thanks to Andy he’s certainly deserving of it. Without Andy’s grand Portuguese hermitage we’d never have the Ralph curb stomped saga.
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I have a feeling every one of Ralph's enemies is going to end up with one claiming its his.
 
SaidNoOneEver said:
I have a feeling every one of Ralph's enemies is going to end up with one claiming its his.
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I hope they do a hot potato thing where they just send it around among themselves and stream with it and then get rid of it again after taunting him. I wouldn't even mind Ralph getting a little win by one of them getting arrested.
 
Justtocheck said:
I mean, the plane gets pressurized pretty quickly. It's not like going on a diving trip, or climbing over 7 thousand meters on foot... but what do I know.


I'd be inclinded to agree with you guys. Ralph will probably get out of the surgery, nap the opiates off, do some coke anally and then take the first flight to the US without much complications. I don't expect his head to explode.
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I don’t want to extend this any further, but because his eye is clearly involved, maybe both, in the US at least he would be stationary, as in not moving his head, for at least a week. If there is retina damage, he’s fucked. Frankly until I see proof, I’m wondering if they saved both eyes.
However, this is Gunter as a patient so yes he will get in a plane and probably not have further complications cause he’s Ralph.
Anyways guys were getting into that infinite loop of speculation about cause of stomping, extent of injuries, etc. because we don’t have any info.
 
It’s almost 5 pm in Portugal. No updates. Surgery was in the morning.

At what point does a local start to call the hospitals to try to pick up 200 kg of fresh bacon?
 
those gawd damn ayylags from brokedick farms got mad at me going to portugal and followed me on my flight, then when my guard was down, they jumped me and robbed me. i chased them down and caught up. there were four of them and i had the upper hand until one sucker punched me. "I swear to Gawwd." there was blood all over my face and i laughed like the Joker.
i fought beyond the limits of a normal human. i was a super human.
 
AnOminous said:
I hope they do a hot potato thing where they just send it around among themselves and stream with it and then get rid of it again after taunting him. I wouldn't even mind Ralph getting a little win by one of them getting arrested.
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His murse would be the new Sonichu Medallion
 
Justtocheck said:
I mean, the plane gets pressurized pretty quickly. It's not like going on a diving trip, or climbing over 7 thousand meters on foot... but what do I know.
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Cabin pressures in major airlines are usually kept around 6000'-8000' ASL.

It would be going from ground level to 6000' feet in just minutes. Which is significant.
 
Wine em Dine em 69 em said:
Anyways guys were getting into that infinite loop of speculation about cause of stomping, extent of injuries, etc. because we don’t have any info.
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We do have the clip which Josh played of Ralph hearing the superchat saying "it's legal to fuck a 14 year old in portugal if you didn't intend to do sex tourism, Rackets said so!" and visibly salivating over the idea in the most subhuman piggy way possible. So I think we have ample grounds to speculate why someone would break his face on that basis.
 
brahsparagus said:
Porcine perp pursuing Portugal propositions (possibly pubescent) prostitute, prompting previously pleasant pigmented Portuguese party poopers, professional pirates, pimps and pushers to pummel Piggy's pie hole and purloin Porker's purse.

Predictably, previously proud protagonist publicly provides photographic proof of predicament, prompting playful peals to proceed from patrons and partisans.
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Now to have Andy Warski read this on stream
 
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