https://m.olx.pt/d/anuncio/bolsa-georgino-armani-IDGWOcr.html#f1ce297e0e
Photos archived locally:
I knew it was an ugly nylon bag, but damn is it cheap and trash. Look at those coated metal buckles, it looks like something from Target at a distance.
Here's the so called location, these are often inaccurate.
The seller also listed some wood fossils and a Prada bag.
Their name "Manuela Vieira" is that of a woman's. There's a high chance this is just a coincidence I'm afraid.
Look at how famous this meme is.
I guess I was wrong, they somehow managed to take that nylon bag off his tremendous gut.
So here:
Description of the advertisement:
Descrição
Achado não é roubado.
Bolsa Georgino Armani original em bom estado .
Nova custa 690 euros
Says it's not stolen, found? What?
About 6.7*20.5cm=137.35cm circumference. Each green line is 20.5cm, which is the height of the bag.
Despite it being stated as not stolen, this is far too large for any women. Of course, the thief could have adjusted the straps, duh.
The buckle is about 6cm, using the measurements from the advertisement listing.
30cm?
Around 30cm once again.
Now back to the listing.
Around 30cm, or a better unit, 5 of those buckles.
I think it's actually Ralph's.



So what are the chances? In Lisbon, "found, not stolen", adjusted for basically the same length, and appeared just 1-2 days after Ralph's supposed 1 VS 4 epic battle of his life.
Did he actually get beaten up by a pimp? It's getting more and more plausible. Seller's a female, the straps are adjusted to accommodate Ralph's gunt, "find not stolen".





Cope.
Seethe.
Dilate.
Nice $40,000 truck, Ralph.

Bragging about material wealth. Remove the hick from the hood, can't remove the hood from the hick.