🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

  • 🏰 The Fediverse is up. If you know, you know.
  • Want to keep track of this thread?
    Accounts can bookmark posts, watch threads for updates, and jump back to where you stopped reading.
    Create account

What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
Status
Not open for further replies.
Tommy's Mom said:
Ralph 100% made himself a target. The american pimp costume, complete with fedora and cigar. A huge Gucci (or whatever) manpurse. The obnoxious tourist attitude. I would bet real money that Ralph told someone to fuck off, and then that person went and got his buddies, then came back and robbed him. That seems like the likely scenario to me.
Click to expand...
And that's more or less it. He got his ass beat for being a fat midget with an attitude and with shit to steal. They probably even decided on it. "Should we just like fuck this dude's shit up?" "Well we usually don't, but this guy? Who's going to care? Even the cops will approve."
 
a 5'1, fat mouthy wigger who carries around a branded manpurse in a foreign country has been mugged and beaten? I'm truly shocked -- I never expected something like this would happen.
 
OrangeJuliusEvola said:
Ah shit, that sucks. I was planning on doing a solo tour of Lisbon in a few years (solo mostly because there's no English speakers who would be into doing a Fernando Pessoa themed tour). Would be a shame, since it wouldn't be the first time I had to *nope* out of something like that (The Edgar Allan Poe House in Baltimore is in a hella fucking sketchy ghettto).
Click to expand...
Dude, just don't be a retarded midget with a murse and a shitty attitude and you'll be fine.
 
So I stitched together a little before and after for comparison purposes. He's hiding his jaw and its swollen as fuck. This dude got his shit pushed in hard by someone who was really pissed off at him.
beforenafter.png
 
Most likely I would bet money on:

gunt had the money and cards in his manpurse, phone etc in his pocket. passport back at the appt.
he was drunk exiting a bar/club and was propositioned by a girl (possibly a pair) for sex/bj
he was then lead somewhere and asked for the money. as soon as he indicated the money was in the bag (by reaching for it) he was jumped from behind by male accomplices. He would have fallen over immediately because he's a fat load. the bag was snatched and he was kicked several times in the face/body as the female exits before they themselves run off.
this all would have 'gone down' in maybe a minute once he was in position. they are not interested in rifling through pockets or trying to take a watch off, its hit and run.
most often its not reported because otherwise they look like a sad john looking for street sex.


A 'drug deal' would be like this:
gunt is offered coke, its fairly busy around so he thinks he is safe.
a little hand me off is done where gunt is given empty foil wrap or something.
dealer laughs and walk off - gunt now notices that a fair amount of the surrounding people are actually 'with' the dealer as they start walking off with him too.
usually they'll say stash it in your pocket or something because of police etc. so they can walk off before you find out but they have no issues laughing in your face if you discover before they are gone.
if gunt tries anything he'd get a kicking but usually its a 'gg bro' and they walk/run away
only the most retarded of people would attempt to get money or the drugs after this.

People need to understand that if you are some rube from out of town especially on your own, its easier and more profitable to scam for drugs than actually sell the drugs. If they get caught they dont have class A drugs on them, its just running cons on tourists.
The fish who just had 150euro scammed off them because they wanted to get coked up isnt usually one to go to the cops either. violence isnt usually involved because more often than not they already have the cash and can just run away.
Rolling johns you need to get physical straight away, this is to ensure the safety of the female so she can depart, the added fact that the female lures are usually related to the other gang members means its probably satisfying to give some loser a kicking for trying to buy blowjobs off your gf/sister/cousin etc.
 
I can relate to Ralph, my face hurts from laughing so hard at this last night. Can't wait to see the next photo, the swelling is gonna get a lot worse before it gets better.

Nigga definitely got concussed. How long will he be stuck in Portugal now? Aren't you supposed to wait at least a week to fly after a brain injury? Ralph is either gonna waste even more money staying there or decide to fly back too soon and have a miserable couple hours on the flight home.

Imagine the other passengers on the plane, having to share a cabin with a literal circus freak, lol.
 
Hüftpriester said:
I can relate to Ralph, my face hurts from laughing so hard at this last night. Can't wait to see the next photo, the swelling is gonna get a lot worse before it gets better.

Nigga definitely got concussed. How long will he be stuck in Portugal now? Aren't you supposed to wait at least a week to fly after a brain injury? Ralph is either gonna waste even more money staying there or decide to fly back too soon and have a miserable couple hours on the flight home.

Imagine the other passengers on the plane, having to share a cabin with a literal circus freak, lol.
Click to expand...
Even without the wounds can you imagine boarding a plane and realizing you're sitting next to that in coach for your 10-hour flight? I wonder if they make Ralph buy two tickets. I think that's a thing for the body-positive types.
 
Yeah I'm thinking the Ralphamale either got lured by some hooker(s) and jumped, or lured by the prospect of droogs - Yeah I got powder come around this corner here - and jumped

The chasing I could see, not a chase really, his murse gets grabbed, murse grabber starts to run, Ralph takes a step or two in pursuit then the guy's buddies blindside him

What a stupid gunt, if you're a dumb tourist doing some touristing and want to score droogs in a strange city (especially a strange foreign city) ask the bellhop at your hotel. They can and will get you what you need, they do it all the time. Give em a decent tip and you're solid. Don't go around trying to find shit in bars / on the street.
 
Fully Eshay Skits Bruh v2 said:
If he is willing to throw that much money away for some hooker every night, you know for damn sure he would be hitting up hookers in Portugal. Especially if they're underage too since he got way to excited when that TTS mentioned the loophole and the AOC there.
Click to expand...
I wonder if he hit up some Portugese dude's kid and then got his ass kicked first by the kid and then by the dad.
 
Bran Shuga said:
Most likely I would bet money on:

gunt had the money and cards in his manpurse, phone etc in his pocket. passport back at the appt.
he was drunk exiting a bar/club and was propositioned by a girl (possibly a pair) for sex/bj
he was then lead somewhere and asked for the money. as soon as he indicated the money was in the bag (by reaching for it) he was jumped from behind by male accomplices. He would have fallen over immediately because he's a fat load. the bag was snatched and he was kicked several times in the face/body as the female exits before they themselves run off.
this all would have 'gone down' in maybe a minute once he was in position. they are not interested in rifling through pockets or trying to take a watch off, its hit and run.
most often its not reported because otherwise they look like a sad john looking for street sex.


A 'drug deal' would be like this:
gunt is offered coke, its fairly busy around so he thinks he is safe.
a little hand me off is done where gunt is given empty foil wrap or something.
dealer laughs and walk off - gunt now notices that a fair amount of the surrounding people are actually 'with' the dealer as they start walking off with him too.
usually they'll say stash it in your pocket or something because of police etc. so they can walk off before you find out but they have no issues laughing in your face if you discover before they are gone.
if gunt tries anything he'd get a kicking but usually its a 'gg bro' and they walk/run away
only the most retarded of people would attempt to get money or the drugs after this.

People need to understand that if you are some rube from out of town especially on your own, its easier and more profitable to scam for drugs than actually sell the drugs. If they get caught they dont have class A drugs on them, its just running cons on tourists.
The fish who just had 150euro scammed off them because they wanted to get coked up isnt usually one to go to the cops either. violence isnt usually involved because more often than not they already have the cash and can just run away.
Rolling johns you need to get physical straight away, this is to ensure the safety of the female so she can depart, the added fact that the female lures are usually related to the other gang members means its probably satisfying to give some loser a kicking for trying to buy blowjobs off your gf/sister/cousin etc.
Click to expand...
You are missing the whole part where the gunt parkour all over Lisbon chasing the algerian already used to surf Algiers´ rooftops. At one point they were jumping from suspended beams to a concrete mixer ending up on a hostage taking situation at a small African country embassy where he hold the attaché at the whole embassy guard gunpoint. He them detonate a bomb he stashed in his murse and ended up falling on his face while jumping the wall and getting all bruised up.
He just made up the part of getting beat by 4 dudes because he didn´t want people to know he failed once on his impeccable parkour skills.
 
Null said:
As someone who has lived in much poorer countries than Portugal continuously since I turned 21, I have never been mugged. I wonder what Ralph is doing differently
Click to expand...
Probably acting like a total Gunt to strangers. That is always a good recipe for an asskicking especially in non-cucked countries.
 
Holy shit, no way did Warski win out on this by doing nothing lmoa.
Ralph must have been lured by legal coke or legal kids on a dingy matress, he makes himself look like such a target there's no way this was a street robbery.
 
Swingletonthesimpleton said:
Hm. 12 years old + 14 years old + 17 years old + 18 years old. A little bit over.
Click to expand...
I mean maybe it wasn’t prostitutes. It could have just been a gang of nine year old street urchins.

Also I hate to break it to you Ralph but you didn’t fight longer than the normal human. I could maybe see adrenaline kicking in so you can run after them, but you totally took 4-5 blows to the head right away and were completely dazed. I know he’s said he watches some boxing but it’s like when one of them gets hit a few times and then they start swinging. Their movement is slow and they’re really just pinching at the air. Also your perception of time is different. You probably fought them for 30 seconds if that.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top Bottom