🗑️ Trashfire PPP: Pig's Passage to Portugal - Update 1/26 - Ralph got his ass kicked and murse stolen. Turns out, the citizens of Portugal are NOT big fans of the Killstream

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What actually led to Ralph's beating?

  • Official narrative, chased robber to defend his property (Manpurse, €150) and 1 VS 4 epic fight.

    Votes: 80 3.4%

  • Beaten by the pimp of an underaged prostitute.

    Votes: 755 32.0%

  • Tumbled down the steep streets like a loose boulder.

    Votes: 153 6.5%

  • Beaten by a gang of drug dealers.

    Votes: 476 20.2%

  • Uttered something stupid in front of locals.

    Votes: 850 36.0%

  • Tried to put his trotters on Warski's sister.

    Votes: 47 2.0%
  • Total voters
    2,361
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instythot said:
Has Dax weighed in with a "holy shit, glad I only mouthed off at randoms in Vegas with you" yet?
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Kramer on the phone said:
try 24 hours. for fucks sake the swelling hasn't gone down, at the very least you'd think he'd hide that.

>guy known for thin skin and getting into fights when drunk is sure to end up getting his ass kicked if he goes to a place where even the "whites" have "nigger moments"

its like calling that the detroit lions will lose an NFL game 20 years from now, like yeah most likely. there was a 70% shot this would happen, don't act like Nostradamus.
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Eh, I'm still happy with myself.
 
Of course,the smart money on what actually happened is on "got wrapped up in a gang op while trying to score hookers and blow" and/or "was being drunk and obnoxious and got rolled up by locals," but I want to add in one more thing to the mix: For the past couple of days, the alogs have been memeing about Ralph going to a foreign country just to eat Burger King. It is entirly possible that Ralph willingly walked into a shitty part of town just so he could claim to be visiting "exotic" places to own the haters and then got truly culturally enriched
 
Disheveled Human said:
50% the genetics of modern brazil so pretty fucking dangerous, especially if you are a fedora wearing amerimutt retard like Ralph. Basically you should know at minimum basic portugese and not go looking around on the street for hookers and drugs. Portugal is a pretty rough place, legalizing personal carry of drugs made it far worse then it used to be a decade ago and even then its not a safe place to travel solo to. You want to go with a small group so you don't get fucked with. This ain't Amsterdam.
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Ah shit, that sucks. I was planning on doing a solo tour of Lisbon in a few years (solo mostly because there's no English speakers who would be into doing a Fernando Pessoa themed tour). Would be a shame, since it wouldn't be the first time I had to *nope* out of something like that (The Edgar Allan Poe House in Baltimore is in a hella fucking sketchy ghettto).
 
Pisstrooper said:
5) He lost all of his "cards" and his bag, which I assume means he lost his bank cards, maybe even his passport. So he is now stranded in a foreign country with no access to his money (his shit phone probably won't support apple/android pay). His only option is to go to the US embassy and once they see his felonious, ADL-listed ass waddle in they will turn him right back around hoping he never makes it back stateside.
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This is some next level funny shit. To think Warski got this done by doing absolutely nothing.
 
Tommy's Mom said:
Haven't they caught on after the Christian website thing, and then immediately spending thousands of dollars to fly to Portugal in order to pwn a stuttering retard? Are they really as bad as DSP fans? They literally just watched that happen.
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They also continue to pay sub fees to a site that hasn’t existed for five months and donated to a “legal fund” for a guy who never even tried to claim paternity and blew it in Vegas.

Then again his mouth breathing paypigs have watched him make repeated trips to Vegas, buy a $800 man purse (RIP), get $8k for a dumb NFT and fly to Lisbon after a vicious diaper drive-by because Andy made fun of him. They actually might be all out of dollars and fucks in 2022.

The fact that both the baby and Ralph’s taxes are due in April make it a very promising month for corn harvesting.
 
Imagine the paramedics that got called to the scene. Just looking down at Ralph's busted face as he spits out blood and tries to figure out where he is. That must have been some funny shit to see in person.
 
OrangeJuliusEvola said:
Ah shit, that sucks. I was planning on doing a solo tour of Lisbon in a few years (solo mostly because there's no English speakers who would be into doing a Fernando Pessoa themed tour). Would be a shame, since it wouldn't be the first time I had to *nope* out of something like that (The Edgar Allan Poe House in Baltimore is in a hella fucking sketchy ghettto).
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I doesn't have to be bad, you just have to assemble the right group or else it can get pretty scary (my experience in Madrid, and Vienna). When I was in Spain it was me, 1 white guy, 2 white girls, 1 black girl, and a mexican. I didn't think the language thing was gonna matter, but having a big mexican guy with us who could speak Spanish, and looked somewhat threatening probably made the entire trip a lot easier (he would whisper that some of the vendors were bragging about trying to squeeze us dry). Having 2 white girls in the group made us targets for locusts that wanted me, and the other 2 guys to buy flowers for the girls (It happened in BOTH Vienna and Madrid), and I don't know if there is some European syndicate of strange foreign men (cause they were never white) selling flowers, but it happened almost every day.
 
Hüftpriester said:
Imagine the paramedics that got called to the scene. Just looking down at Ralph's busted face as he spits out blood and tries to figure out where he is. That must have been some funny shit to see in person.
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In what scraps of consciousness he has left he tries to spit blood on the paramedics out of a vague memory of the last time a small woman pummeled the shit out of him.
 
Tommy's Mom said:
This is the beginning of the end for Ralph. It is going to be spectacular. He definitely lost those front teeth, and that's going to take a shitload of money to fix. If he doesn't fix it, the way he talks is going to completely change.
Any somewhat sane person who gets beat down that badly usually has the good sense to not broadcast pictures of it all over Twitter, but his ego won't let him. That's how fucking egotistical he is. He can't just go away for two weeks.
Ralph is so thin skinned that the public's reaction to this is going to be a breaking point for him. Maybe not the thing that causes him to totally lose his mind, but it's a huge step in that direction.
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Oh, I think he considered trying to hide it but realized there was no way he could hide for two weeks plus, he insists on streaming his fat hideous face on the KS for unfathomable reasons so he would have been MIA from grifting till March. Even if he tried to lay low until shit healed his face is going to have scars and show signs of that beat down for months. Ralph doesn’t heal fast at all and some of those marks might be permanent, even more so if he’s missing teeth too.

I think he took the photo now because he will look even WORSE the next 72 hours. He’s swollen now, that will continue, but by tomorrow the horrendous discolored bruising will begin. Remember what Ralph’s chest looked like after the car accident? His face isn’t going to fare much better this week.
 
He's definitely missing some teeth, I've seen it before with a friend in a car accident. That or the inside of his lips are swollen causing the outer lips to point inward like that.

Pepper Jack said:
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The edit actually got me for a second as I am retarded. I was confused as to how he got home so quickly lmao. He said his cards got taken, and his bag too so maybe even his passport. So he's stranded in Portugal with no access to funds (his shitty phone probably doesn't have android/apple pay), the only way he's getting home any time soon would be going to the embassy, but the second they saw his felonious, ADL-listed ass waddle up to the gates they'd start firing bean bags at him.
 
Can't thank the staff of the hospital enough for the amazing treatment they gave me for the minor injuries I received from the 4 Romanian kickboxing thugs. I couldn't pay them but they said it was okay as they saw my matt jarbo take down video and said they loved it!

Got some new overseas fans!
 
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