German euthanasia clinics refusing unvaccinated customers

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Irony has been declared many times in this pandemic but now, from Covid-riddled Germany comes the final proof: you can't kill yourself now unless you've been vaccinated. As European countries battle to limit the spread of the virus, Verein Sterbehilfe – the German Euthanasia Association – has issued a new directive, declaring it will now only help those who have been vaccinated or recovered from the disease. In a statement, the association said:

"Euthanasia and the preparatory examination of the voluntary responsibility of our members willing to die require human closeness. Human closeness, however, is a prerequisite and breeding ground for coronavirus transmission. As of today, the 2G rule applies in our association, supplemented by situation-related measures, such as quick tests before encounters in closed rooms."

'Close encounters in closed rooms' – what a fabulous German euphemism for assisted suicide. The term '2G' meanwhile refers to a system which only allows free movement for leisure activities for the geimpft oder genese— 'vaccinated or recovered.' God forbid that a person without the jab should try to end it all – talk about a vaccine passport to the afterlife...
 
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Euthanasia requires closeness? I thought the Germans had basically perfected efficiently killing people.

Not even allowed to have yourself killed without the vaccines though, amazing.
 
Germany is now so distressing and dystopian they have literal suicide booths and now you can't kill yourself unless you're vaccinated.

It would be hard to write satire this absurd but at least we have real life.
 
KiwiFarmerSimulator2021 said:
My bad, i can never seem to get it right first time when i post in here. Agile methodology amirite.
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You are a kitty so I forgives you. 🤗🐱

Ruin said:
Germany is now so distressing and dystopian they have literal suicide booths and now you can't kill yourself unless you're vaccinated.

It would be hard to write satire this absurd but at least we have real life.
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As the world slowly turns into dystopian satire I find the only way to cope is to laugh.

Can't the suicide doctors just wear a hazmat suit? Also, don't you have to wait two weeks after your last shot before you are no longer an Untouchable? All because some people are afraid of getting a lil' coof.
 
Shiversblood said:
Euthanasia is murder. Any doctor who does this should be in prison.
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Said by somebody who has never had to watch the state desperately and frantically try and wring one more day of life out of a formerly active and healthy senior as they lie in a hospital bed, shitting through a tube, riddled with tumors, bald, mouth full of rotting teeth and only not screaming in agony because they have three tubes down their throat. It's pathetic and horrible how hard western doctors try to force people who are clearly dying to live one more torturous hour on this earth.

My parents remember all their relatives dying suddenly. My mother had both her aunts simply drop dead of heart failure. Never bedridden, never senile. They lived active, happy, productive lives until their mid-80's and then they just... died. That's how people should die. No fanfare. No desperate clinging to life. They're there one day, then they're dead the next. No horrific, drawn-out period of suffering prolonged until the last nanosecond by drugs, pills and machines that breathe and shit for you.
 
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