Your favorite crappy game

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Phantasmagoria 2. It's this weird point and click adventure game built entirely around live-action FMVs. It's slow, the puzzles are so simplistic it hurts, the plot makes no sense and most of the characters are one note and unlikeable. But there's a real charming kitsch value to the game. The hammy acting and goofy plot twists can be really funny.
 
Takeshi's challenge.
Just the sheer amount of absurdity in the game (you can die AT THE PASSWORD SCREEN) and how the game deliberately loves fucking you over because of things you pretty much must have foreseen in advance. By this I mean things that wouldn't make much sense when you first do them, like killing the old man after you get the map from him. (in other words, the game pretty much expects you to be a psychic lol)
 
Dark Cloud. One of the greatest games in my childhood, but that's pretty much it, nostalgia. The plot isn't that great, gameplay is really repetitive, the thirst system with weapon breaking is just there to annoy you and keep you in menus as long as it can, the animations aren't that good, the dungeons aren't even hand built, someone could make an argument that it gives it replay value, but I don't agree as they all feel the same and empty, apart from few NPCs they are all dull and not really worth talking to, unless you are completing the towns 100% right order and want their prizes. but the thing is, I love this game. I love the music, I like the party system, the cut scenes are something that I want to always see and it's a game that I return to over and over again, just to see that yup, it's still the same crappy game that I love.
 
Evergrace.
The gameplay is repetitive as shit, the dialogue is just a series of poorly-voiced grammatical errors, and the story and characters are so poorly done that they become irrelevant. Despite all this, I like going back to the game occasionally because the music and environments create a weirdly palpable atmosphere of nostalgic loneliness for me. It's also the kind of game where you can wear a birds nest on your head as armor, so it has that going for it.
 
sasazuka said:
Test Drive Unlimited 2 is one of the most "broken" games I've ever played, especially how it often stops tracking which roads you've already driven on (important if you want to get certain explorer Achievements/trophies), and, for an open world game released in 2011, there's not a lot of traffic compared to even open world PS2 games, let alone open world games released 2/3rds of the way through the XBox 360's generation.
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I put Test Drive Unlimited 2 into the XBox 360 for the first time in years and there were 4 mandatory patches (that took me over an hour to download) that fixes a lot of the non-story-related issues I had with it. Those patches aren't new but I didn't have my XBox 360 connected to the Internet in 2011 (for simple "it doesn't have wifi and I didn't have a wire long enough to reach from the router to my console" reasons but now the router is near the console so I only need a very short wire). The graphics are better than I remember (unless the patches upgraded them), not quite on the level of Forza Horizon, but, on the other hand, each one of the 2 maps in Test Drive Unlimited 2 is significantly larger than either of the Forza Horizon games on XBox 360 so there's more to explore even if the scenery is a bit repetitive and less pretty than a Horizon game.

EDIT: I forgot to say, one minor thing that Test Drive Unlimited 2 did better than the first two Forza Horizon games is that it is much more challenging to find each of the junk cars in Test Drive Unlimited 2, and you have to find 10 of them to get each bonus car, than it is to find the "barn find" cars in Horizon (basically, just go to the circle on the map after each "barn find" announcement on the radio and head towards the single barn that is visible... they might as well have a flashing arrow pointing towards it, it's *that* easy to find them).
 
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I legit had fun playing through and figuring out the backwards workings of Superman 64. Every level fails in some particular way. I never played it as a kid because even then it had a notoriously bad reputation, but that made me curious to see how bad it was.
 
Turok on 360. The controls were awful and really unresponsive which made it all the sweeter when I beat the game.
 
Clock Tower 3. The plot is convoluted, the villains hard to take seriously and the one character is basically a spastic Ron Weasley. Add to that cheesy voice acting, a frustrating combat system and, outside of boss fights, one hit from an enemy kills you unless you happen to have a specific item on hand. Yet despite all its glaring flaws I still like the game, it's got a B-movie charm to it.
 
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Inquisitor_BadAss said:
Turok on 360. The controls were awful and really unresponsive which made it all the sweeter when I beat the game.
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I don't really know how you can call this game awful. It's so absurd in its premise and you kill dinosaurs with rediculous weapons. C'mon.

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The Earth Defense Force series. They are mind-numbingly repetitive, graphics -at best- look like a 7th gen launch title, the controls are barely serviceable, and the enemies are all literally either giant bugs or spiders, or robots made out of geometric shapes. But good Lord, are these games fun.

I really hope the latest one gets brought stateside. Just look at this glorious 'tism.
Mmmm....Gorgeous...
 
Rumpled Foreskin said:
I don't really know how you can call this game awful. It's so absurd in its premise and you kill dinosaurs with rediculous weapons. C'mon.

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I wasn't talking about the N64 stuff I was on about the one made by touchstone for Xbox 360. The boss fight was just a quick time knife fight.
 
Going back a bit, I'd have to say The Path on PC. Yeah, it's the springboard game by the same devs as Sunset, and the controls and navigation are a pain in the ass, but it was one of my first ~*deep*~ games I ever played, and it was kinda fun piecing together bits of what I thought the story was about...even though it was babby's first edgy fairy-tale retelling.
 
Quest 64. Yeah, the plot was very bare bones. Yeah, the stat grinding was infuriatingly slow and tedious. Yeah, the spell system definitely favored Water and Earth despite giving a choice. Still, it was cute, had potential, and the world was fun to explore.
 
Heavy Rain has an interesting premise and for its time looked pretty good.
...Nowadays all I see are endless plotholes, awful rapey-scenarios for the useless female character, and hilarious French actors trying their hand at english dubbing. Beyond Two Souls is just as bad if not worse as David Cage drags Ellen Page and Willem Dafoe into the void with him.
 
oblivion has aged like hotdog watet but i still love it anyway
 
Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers for SNES, its probably just the ole nostalgia goggles and the fact that I was a little too obsessed with the series growing up. Yet, this extremely monotonous and repetitive game I grew up with was and still is a favorite of mine, especially the final Megazord battle.
 
Wizardry 1, 2 and 5. These games from one to five are mean, cruel, mean, vicious, mean, unfair, horrible, mean, disorientating, mean, and possibly not very nice. Yet every now and again I have to play like old NES or SNES versions. (I am not playing the old Apple II stuff.)

Don't ask me about 3 and 4. Three is stupid because reasons, and 4 is probably one of the most sadistic pieces of programming ever made EVER.
 
I'll stick in another vote for a Drakengard game--this time, the original. You have to play on Normal to unlock all the weapons, which makes my suckiness at action games come to the fore. And why do you have to unlock all the weapons, you ask? Because getting the final ending requires it, that's why.
The controls are terrible--although you can assign your own buttons to do whatever--the game buries certain weapons behind finger-jammingly difficult tasks that you would never do unless you had a walkthrough open, and there's more than a sprinkling of the less pleasant -philias too.
So why do I like it? Simple. The weapons (all 65 of them) have histories that you expand by leveling them up. How do you level them up? You fucking murder people with them. And I am a completionist writ large. My favorite mace has so, so much blood on it. Heh heh heh.
 
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