Would you shit in a bucket?

[Useful_Mistake]

You really need to take a shit, and before you suddenly appears a man in a black cape and black top hat. He offers you two doors, none of which existed before the man's arrival. When you open the doors, you find a bucket behind one of them, and a functional toilet behind another.

There is no benefit to shitting in a bucket, you are informed.

Do you shit in a bucket?

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Is there toilet paper? The worst thing about shitting in a bucket in my experience is having to wipe with pilfered fastfood napkins.

There is no toilet paper for the bucket or the toilet

 

[BikeLock]

I've shit in worse. Try an ammo can. Affectionately known as the "groover." When you go to very remote and obscure places and have to pack out everything you pack in.

Honestly the strongest argument against buying surplus ammo cans.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Why would I shit in a bucket when there's a functional toilet?

 

[Rozzy]

There is no toilet paper for the bucket or the toilet

Great, gonna have pull my butt-cheeks apart and hope there's no mess.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

According to the guy from Hoarders, we’re all a couple bad decisions away from pooping in a bucket.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

"Yes"

-All of India

 

[JethroTullamore]

I shit in the diaper like the adult that I am.

 

[Pelican Bones]

I don't get it. What's he offering me to stop me from shitting in the bucket?

 

[Useful_Mistake]

What's he offering me to stop me from shitting in the bucket?

The ability to shit in the toilet

 

[Pelican Bones]

The ability to shit in the toilet

What's he giving me to incentivize me to use the toilet instead of the bucket?

 

[WelperHelper99]

A hole is a hole, I'm just saying...

 

[Useful_Mistake]

What's he giving me to incentivize me to use the toilet instead of the bucket?

Nothing

 

[ASCHQ]

Has the toilet/bucket been used previously?

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Has the toilet/bucket been used previously?

No. It was just created by the Top Hat man

 

[Pelican Bones]

Nothing

Nothing to stop me from shitting in a perfectly good bucket? This riddle doesn't make any sense.

Is it you? Are you the man with the bucket? When can I shit in the bucket? You already told me I could. No take-backsies, fatty

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Is it you?

No

Are you the man with the bucket? When can I shit in the bucket?

Whenever you want

 

[ASCHQ]

No. It was just created by the Top Hat man

Did this man create a plumbing system for said toilet or is it dry? I assume the bucket is empty.

 

[Useful_Mistake]

Did this man create a plumbing system for said toilet or is it dry? I assume the bucket is empty.

The toilet works as well as any working toilet at your home would.

 

[Cats]

The way I see it? some day you may be forced to shit in a bucket, so don't ever feel like you are above such a thing.

 

[ASCHQ]

The toilet works as well as any working toilet at your home would.

I don't like the idea water splashing my taint, even if the Top Hat fella conjured pure H2O. I'd hovingcraft that bucket and toss my duke in the grass where God can use it.