Worst makeshift dildo?

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There's actually a lot of things and even actual dildos are dangerous if they don't have a flared base (your colon sucks them up and you need surgery to remove them). But probably anything sharp like a knife, fork, spork etc. or something really dirty like a moldy banana or a water bottle found in a ditch that a trucker peed in.
Sparkletor 2.0 said:
who stuck a live trout up there or the chick who beer bonged live eels and piss into her bum.

Never seen a person shove a hedgehog or porcupine up their ass. That would be something I would like to see.
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That is just sad animal abuse. Eels are smarter than you think:
 
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A black hole surely? In that it would crush you and everyone you loved down to a tiny point so heavy & dense not even light could escape. And the rest of the world, too. Then the sun. So that would be the worst thing that could ever travel up into your ass. Don't think you'd have time to feel much of anything though (nor would anyone). We'd all die and all known life would come with us, flattened into a microscopic layer around the hole in your ass.

(If you detect a black hole, for goodness' sake don't sit on it.)
 
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