- Joined
- Jul 17, 2025
Exactly, saw right through it immediately. Another problem with relationships in current day is that everyone's running a narrative about themselves, rather than trying to be there for anyone else.
why are you still single - and general discussion of the dating game
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- Joined
- Jun 9, 2020
Poor social skills. And maybe potential dates Google me and find my LOLcow thread and nope out.
- Joined
- Apr 30, 2025
you'll wake up in a tub filled with ice and a kidney missing.
Yakubian_Insurgent
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 21, 2025
Too lazy, socially retarted and much of a coward to go an actually search for a partner I don't have problems talking with people in general and mantaining relationships but I don't know how to actually start one and also where to find girls.
- Joined
- Aug 7, 2024
You got me thinking, I always had this problem where I bitch and whine about woe is me foids don't take an interest in me and blah blah blah. But in hindsight every time a foid did do that I'd get suspicious and run away or ignore the situation. Be it consciously or subconsciously. Like what's going on here? Why would anyone want to talk to me? Surely this must be a trap! This is probably what was subconsciously going through my brain.
So to answer the thread question: it's me, it's always been me. I've been the problem all along. I don't only fear rejection, I fear acceptance too, perhaps even more.
Seems this is the way, but man, it feels like trying to deadlift 4 pl8 when you've never touched a weight before and you can't even get the bar to lift even a millimeter off the ground.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2022
Women don't care about money, men care about money. Men care about money far more than women do. I saw a homeless dude with two girls at his side when I walked home from waging. Money doesn't matter to women.
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2019
It does matter to some/a lot of them, that doesn't mean that there isn't other factors.
You have the (extreme) examples of the girl that goes on dates because the other guy pays for everything, and gives her the princess treatment, then once she gets bored she dumps him, vs the one who for some reason (raging hormones) gets in love with the "hobo" that lives like a hippie and smokes pot all day, or the ones who get infatuated with serial killers of poor economic background (but so hot because dangerous-boy + roids + tattoos).
"Normal" women care about money because it gives them a sense of stability, and they want someone they can rely on. This is so stereotypical, but from what I've seen, men are more willing to be the "caretaker" in a relationship, while women want to be taken care of (which includes financial stability, and money is a good indicator of that).
It's not always like this obviously, but think for yourself one second, put yourself in some of these girls' shoes: you go on Tinder to have "fun" because you know there will always be a dudebro that will give you what you want if it's in his power, and all you have to do is tolerate him using you like a sex object/pimped out car he has, since you're also using him as a paypig/walking ATM.
You're with him because he's attractive enough but also has money, you are a leech (in your mind you're just empowered), but that's OK, because you'll enjoy going to fancy restaurants, trips, and rides on his expensive Porsche.
This is the peak of your life, you were given by nature and coincidence something in enough demand that allows you to live life so carelessly, so you will enjoy it while you still can (if you're one of these superficial girls, which dating apps are filled to the brim with).
Humans are not so different from each other, perspective can change wildly with the environment you're in, meaning, someone pampered by retards throughout their life will more often than not act like a spoiled superficial person & have piss-poor values.
- Joined
- Jan 12, 2022
I'd rather put myself inside the girl than her shoes tbh
That's because that guy is boring. Lead with your wallet if you want to be treated as nothing more than one. If he's going to act like a wallet why wouldn't she treat him like one. He's going out of his way to prove that's all he's good for.
Because he's fun to be around, to her, there's something about that guy that she likes and she just has to fuck him to find out what that is. Right now there is a guy with nothing to his name but a shitty car and a guitar fucking a girl, whilst the "Husband Material" man is alone rubbing one out.
No woman thinks like that, they're too busy having fun with the attractive guy, the money is just a bonus. Be attractive, don't be unattractive. Money makes no difference. Men care more about money than women do.
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2019
That is not always the case, but it is for my examples with the retards on Tinder.
Not really, he can just look good to her.
They could have very different ideals and values, but she doesn't care, because he looks hot at that time. If you changed his face to a nerdy one, made him bald, and reduced his height to 4'11'', she suddenly would not care that much about his personality.
I am sure this is just a coincidence.
Reminder that we're talking about very possible scenarios (which this is), and certain type of people (so not all women act like such).
From what I've seen, this is not the case. Not about the money of their partner.
So many examples of the working boy providing for his NEET girlfriend because he doesn't value her financials, vs the few examples of the opposite scenario (which I've heard, but not as much, that's for sure).
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2023
Spent part of my weekend sorting through the dating app leftovers that matched with me. I was a little surprised that my profiles got more attention than usual, as in 5 likes in 2 days rather than 1 like every week. But it was all a damn mirage. One match was an obvious scammer, two were single moms that I immediately turned down (both older than me) and one was an obvious BPD head case that admitted that she did Whippets (nitrous really fuckin with her brain). Also she linked me her Insta and of course it was full of left wing culture war virtue signaling.
There are worse fates than being alone.
There are worse fates than being alone.
- Joined
- Oct 27, 2021
You know, I can relate to that. I've been married, shared space. had a house filled with children for many years. But then I lived alone for almost 10 years (and through covid lockdowns and wfh for 7 years) - and tbh I developed habits of keeping odd hours, turned up the night owl to 11, and answered to no one. The idea of sharing space again was a big "no, thank you." But then last year one of my kids moved home. Of course I was thrilled, but also apprehensive, mainly for concern about having my style cramped. So it's been 6 months or so, and though it's had its bumps, those have been mainly for other reasons (like navigating the right level of parenting with an adult child, which has been an adjustment on both sides). But making space and sharing space with another person has been less difficult than I had thought it might be. I've dropped feeling like I could only "do me" when home alone. At the same time, I have had to reform my night owl self for other reasons (returning to working in-office), anyway, so my "but what if I want to steam-clean the walls at 3 a.m.???" concerns have been mostly OBE (overcome by events). I'm still fairly allergic to routine, admittedly, but feel less like I need to apologize for it or tiptoe around, and I actually like it (and to be clear, bc it's my child I'm thrilled about it; I'm just talking about the abstract idea of sharing space).
Not that it's relevant for me, either, as (getting back to the thread topic generally) I'm still not feeling like dating (its been a couple of years since I shut that down entirely). Sometimes I think I've probably had enough of that (relationships/ dating/ romance) for a lifetime, and in reality my pool is exceptionally small. If you guys in your 20s 30s 40s think the pickins are slim, try being a woman firmly in your 50s, a good earner and high achiever by most conventional standards, who will never {{{again}}}} support a man and will never {{{again}}} be involved with someone who is controlling or insecure or an active functional alcoholic or bad with money or dumber than I am. I made all those mistakes and suffice it to say, I've learned my hard lessons and won't be making them again. So I figure there are like maybe 3 single, age-appropriate men on the planet who would tick those boxes (and that's assuming I even tick their boxes and that they're also looking), and I haven't wanted to make the time to go out to try to find one of them. It might be so over, kiwibros!* But it's not for you, so don't doom yourself out of possibilities or hide away from the world.
*Or maybe not - people certainly date at my age and older, but after a life of having a very open but also foolish heart, and of not having any particular specific boxes/ must-haves, I do now, some of which are bare-minimum, "duh, of course" level, and some of which are likely very limiting, so I may have priced myself out of the market - though tbh if that's the case, I'm OK with it. And if I weren't, it is what it is, no sense getting twisted about it - the important thing is to live, and to live a full and good life.
- Joined
- Jan 25, 2022
Yeah been single since divorce. Fucked one neighbor since then a couple of times.
Not sure if calling it a choice is 100% accurate... I don't have will or energy for it. But I would not have problem getting some if I tried.
I am CBAcel.
Not sure if calling it a choice is 100% accurate... I don't have will or energy for it. But I would not have problem getting some if I tried.
I am CBAcel.
Garm
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2019
People just don't talk to me. Women act like I'm some Lovecraftian creature that dragged mud into their freshly mopped kitchen. They seem genuinely disgusted that I exist one what they consider to be "their" plane of existence.
I can go weeks without talking to my friends that I grew up with.
I keep getting advice from people about "what not to say" when conversing. When I explain that I don't get past "hello" they just shut up and stop talking.
I can go weeks without talking to my friends that I grew up with.
I keep getting advice from people about "what not to say" when conversing. When I explain that I don't get past "hello" they just shut up and stop talking.
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2019
Can you give the context? Like, where are you or with who, when you try to speak to these women?
It's not the same thing if they're acquaintances, or randos at a bar (which you shouldn't bother with), or coworkers, etc.
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2023
I live in a turbo bleeding heart liberal place, and im far from liberal. If I disagree with them, I'm worse than lord voldemort.
Garm
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2019
Game nights, birthday parties, just hanging out, texting, Facebook Messenger. There is a very clear "I'm being polite because my significant other finds you amusing" tone.
Eventually those people stopped talking to me so I found a new friend. His wife has the same distant tone.
And another friend decided he was going to help me out by impersonating me on dating apps. He got three women after I'm guessing shotgunning that app (him being unemployed at the time.)
Hell, even the bartender at the pool hall has that "What do you want" tone. Friendly as can be to my friend but me, she has no patience for me.
It would be nice to figure out what the problem is but I doubt I'll be able to do anything about it.
- Joined
- Apr 5, 2025
I think I might be crucified if I say "sounds like a looksmaxxing skill issue do you know your objective /10" but that is the correct approach when people are immediately put-off by you (assuming you shower and shave and such)
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2019
It's probably too difficult to tell over the Internet without you compromising personal details.
I am in no way trying to be mean, but it could range from your physical appearance (weight, personal care, hygiene, etc), to your vibes/the way you express yourself (specially if you have noticeable traits that some self-diagnosed "neurodivergent" people do), to the topics of conversation (maybe it's too pushy, or way out of their comfort zone), to even the cadence of your voice, and a long etc.
Of course these are just some possibilities I am thinking of from my ignorance, since I don't know you, but it's also possible that they're assholes, or maybe even that you're misinterpreting their signals (as in maybe the bartender doesn't have anything against you, but they have extra enthusiasm for friends or regular customers).
Alternatively, if you don't want to reveal stuff about yourself on Kiwifarms, you can be bold enough to ask them personally, and have a "honest" moment. With the right words, if they're genuine enough (optimistic), they may just tell you directly.
Garm
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 5, 2019
It is likely the weight issue. Which means I have to handle some other health issues that I have. Thanks though.