What's your normal coffee order?

[Catler]

You walk into your regular coffee shop and buy the same cup of coffee you always do, what is it?
Tea order is acceptable if you don't drink coffee.

 

[The Nostalgia Critic]

Water

 

[The Hero of Kvatch]

I don't do coffee shops. I'm too much of an autistic nigger to look the barista in the eye or speak.

At home I throw sugar and ground coffee in a cup, pour in some milk, stir, add some hot water, put in coffee creamer.

And spill half of the mug while walking upstairs because I'm a fucking idiot.

 

[SNU]

Large flatwhite no sugar.

Spoiler: Flatwhite explanation for people who don't have them in their country

Flatwhite has a higher proportion of espresso to milk than a caffè latte and a thinner layer of microfoam than a cappuccino. It's called a flat white because it is flat and white. The people of my country think French and Italian are gay boy languages so we don't say the fancy names of coffees. Either that or we're too retarded to pronounce it.

 

[Claude Sigma]

I don't order coffee because it's a stupid consoomer thing to spend way too much for coffee with probably tons of sugar and other goyslop in it.
But I do make coffee at home, and it's either black if I want caffeine, or a milk coffee (no water, just coffee and milk), because it's delicious.

 

[Open-Source Dodonpachi]

I don't ask for coffee. I disrupt the peace in the stablishment, piss on the floor to assert dominance, look at the barista's eye profusely, grab her boobies and then I get instantly my frapuccino.

LIFE HACK: take a sip of your frap or coffee drink and spit it on the barista's face saying it tastes like piss. You will get your coffee free.

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Grande cold brew with cream. (No sweetener).

 

[Premium Gonzo]

Long black with cold milk or a 5 shot cappuccino its more coffee then milk at that point.

No sugar because that's for faggots.

 

[DankSmoker]

I only buy finely curated CDs and overpriced muffins when I roll into a coffee shop.

 

[SNEED.EXE]

On a raft, four-by-four animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.

 

[The Hero of Kvatch]

On a raft, four-by-four animal-style, extra shingles with a shimmy and a squeeze, light axle grease, make it cry, burn it, and let it swim.

We serve coffee here, sir.

 

[Named User]

Chocolate milk. Extra Nesquik.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I like coffee how I like my men. Hot, black, and bold.

 

[The Hero of Kvatch]

Chocolate milk. Extra Nesquik.

I FUCKING LOVE CHOCCIE MILK!!!!

 

[Slav Power]

I just want a coffee with milk and sugar, why does it have to be so complicated.

I'm also spoiled by the specialty stuff I brew at home, so I know that if the brew is shit no amount of milk and sugar will mask the harsh bitterness.

But that's just how it goes when you want to sell a lot of coffee to a lot of people quickly. You do it at home, you can make it exactly how you like it.

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

An iced latte with breast milk I mean breast milk I mean breast milk sorry I mean breast milk I mean breast milk I mean

 

[SomeDingus]

I don't drink coffee or tea or any fluid

 

[Jason Wynn]

Black, no cream, no sugar.

 

[Car Won't Crank]

From the Dunkin Donuts menu:

I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.

 

[The Hero of Kvatch]

I'll have two number 9s, a number 9 large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s, one with cheese, and a large soda.