Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

[Pickle Inspector]

While Chris is slightly less naive than he used to be I am a little concerned about someone taking advantage of him, with Barb out of the picture all it would take is for them to be female and reasonably attractive and Chris would let them into his house with little suspicion.

 

[raansudesu]

This. Chris and Bob both hated the hoard, but they couldn't really do anything about it, lest Barb chimp out on them. Of course, cleaning up Barb's immense hoard after she dies would be a huge pain in the ass, so I don't know if Chris would get that far in cleaning it up. Maybe after the honeymoon phase after Barb's death he might gradually start getting rid of stuff. Like, he wouldn't rent a dumpster or anything, so he'd probably just throw stuff out in mcdonald's dumpster.

Yeah, I don't think he'll make a consorted effort. It will be little by little every day, throwing out the various items of clothing, vases, frames. cardboard boxes and cleaning supplies he notices, which is most of the clutter I've seen in the house tours, none of which appeals to him. Same gives with the various cat and dog supplies, and even the pets themselves which contribute to the poor state of the house.

He won't even have the Resident Evil fridge and dirty dishes, all the food will come from takeout/ordering. It will never be spotless, but after a few months the cleanliness wouldn't have been to the point of being biologically hazardous, and in a few years the clutter won't even be particularly notable if he were to make another house tour vid.

 

[Lipitor]

This. Chris and Bob both hated the hoard, but they couldn't really do anything about it, lest Barb chimp out on them. Of course, cleaning up Barb's immense hoard after she dies would be a huge pain in the ass, so I don't know if Chris would get that far in cleaning it up. Maybe after the honeymoon phase after Barb's death he might gradually start getting rid of stuff. Like, he wouldn't rent a dumpster or anything, so he'd probably just throw stuff out in mcdonald's dumpster.

If it's anything like the "yardwork" he does he'd do an undetectable amount of cleaning and then go on to brag for weeks about how much work he did.

 

[LordCustos3]

Unfortunately anyone taking Chris into their life is the equivalent of trying to take care of a brain damaged middle aged horse with rabies that thinks its a bird.

My god. You've summed up OPL in the most succinct, pithy fashion possible.

 

[General Juicer]

I bet that with Barb gone, Chris can reconnect with his family if he so chooses. Maybe not with Cole since he's a douche (though his chances would nonetheless significantly improve), but from what I gathered she was much, much more of a contribution to his outcast status than his own behavior. I have relatives who are worse people than Chris and they still get invited to parties and extended family events and whatever.

Also, I bet that without having to hide and tread on eggshells around Barb, his self-confidence improves and he feels more at ease with his identity. This self-confidence allows him to actually, you know, make friends at Impulse. And not pity or troll friends, but actual people who have an interest in his welfare.

I can only see Chris's life improving, and for the better, once she passes on. Especially if someone is with Doofus to hold his hand for the first few months of post-parent transition.

 

[Meowzers]

i had a dream last night that chris died and kiwifarms members had to take care of a shaken and catatonic barb. what a strange turn of events that would be

 

[Lipitor]

LOL it's hilarious how the way everyone describes what it will be like when Barb dies is basically the same thing as What would happen if Chris moved out?

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I bet that with Barb gone, Chris can reconnect with his family if he so chooses. Maybe not with Cole since he's a douche (though his chances would nonetheless significantly improve), but from what I gathered she was much, much more of a contribution to his outcast status than his own behavior. I have relatives who are worse people than Chris and they still get invited to parties and extended family events and whatever

Huh? His family doesn't want to talk to him any more than they want to see barb. And Cole isn't a douche just because he doesn't want his anchor of a brother in his life. I don't blame him one bit.

 

[Fallensaint]

Say what you like about Chris but he takes death hard. Barb's a massive enabler and has made herself a hige part of his adult life it would take him ages to get over it.

 

[General Juicer]

His family doesn't want to talk to him any more than they want to see barb.

Oh? I know that what we Internet people see is different from what folks on the ground see, but I can't think of any particular reason why a random family member not aware of his Internet reputation would choose to stay estranged from Chris other than 'he's autistic and far away from everyone'.

 

[Cuck Norris]

Oh? I know that what we Internet people see is different from what folks on the ground see, but I can't think of any particular reason why a random family member not aware of his Internet reputation would choose to stay estranged from Chris other than 'he's autistic and far away from everyone'.

This is why they stay far away from Chris.

 

[Kosher Dill]

a random family member not aware of his Internet reputation

They're all aware and have been asked to participate in multiple documentaries.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

At the start, I think he'd be horribly depressed, having been left with basically no one in the world. But once he'd got over it, he'd adapt to adult life, bit by bit. He's not going to get a job any time soon, nor is he going to get a sweetheart, but he'd manage the basics - maybe after one or two mishaps involving unexpected bills. 14BC will still be a tip, because he hates work and I could see him refusing to get rid of the Hoard for sentimental reasons. The fact that he's stopped whining about being poor suggests to me that either his financial situation is more stable than it was or he was bullshitting about how bad it was in the first place.

Most likely, he'll just wind up being some strange shut-in.

 

[strayfies]

This is why they stay far away from Chris.

Though I'm sure this doesn't make it any more tempting.

 

[General Juicer]

Most likely, he'll just wind up being some strange shut-in.

You know what? I don't really see that happening. The shut-in part, not the strange part. Yeah, Chris's life is pretty lonely and isolated but that's more owing to his lack of socialization skills (which causes him to be shunned) than any innate desire to be alone. If Chris can make a couple of non-troll friends I can imagine them inviting him to shopping trips and movies and shit and he'd unreservedly accept it.

 

[AnOminous]

Huh? His family doesn't want to talk to him any more than they want to see barb. And Cole isn't a douche just because he doesn't want his anchor of a brother in his life. I don't blame him one bit.

I don't know. If Chris were a family member I don't see any reason I would view him as too awful to tolerate. Cole Smithey is a complete dickhead of his own free will without any autism to explain it.

 

[Tubular Monkey]

Chris will do fine for awhile. Then he'll do something (God and the effing Bear knows what) that will get him thrown in jail, and he'll no longer be able to have his "mother take care of dat." Without a grownup in his life, he will become increasingly paranoid and probably more likely to continue to get into trouble. I don't like it, but I think Chris will spend most of the rest of his life in and out of jail for petty offenses.

 

[Marvin]

Huh? His family doesn't want to talk to him any more than they want to see barb.

Eh, I don't know about that. Like, wasn't there that story where Barb tried to sleep with someone's husband? Barb, to me, is like the wicked witch and Chris is her flying monkey.

Of course, if Chris corners you and talks your ear off, he becomes a lot less tolerable. So probably when Chris starts hitting on cousins or nieces or something, things probably won't last.

 

[Phil Collins]

LOL it's hilarious how the way everyone describes what it will be like when Barb dies is basically the same thing as What would happen if Chris moved out?

Eh, it's the same general concept. "What would happen if Chris suddenly had no motherly figure and had to be independent" is a question that's been asked since he was discovered.

 

[MrsFrizzle]

I like my extended family members, and we exchange Christmas cards and are friends on Facebook and whatnot, but I wouldn't be likely to turn to them for help or companionship if I needed it. I mean, I just don't really see Chris calling up a second cousin and making a strong connection after years of no or little contact.

It is a shame that Chris is estranged from the half-siblings, but that's on Bob's and Barb's head, and unlikely to be resolved even after Barb's death (and as people in their 50s, it's hard to imagine them having time or resources to deal with Chris in any but the Christmas card/Facebook/occasional dinner mode, even if they wanted to reach out and overcome the estrangement).