What do you like about Ethan Ralph? - Unironically.

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I think he has had some funny and good moments, like when he danced outside of The Blaze in his cowboy hat. I was team Ralph for that one and thought they should have let him in to go hog wild. He's also mean to Meigh a lot which is good because she's a sicko freak and I think his yellow hat rules.
 
I like Ralphs resilience.
Most of his ayylaawgs like Kinochet, most people really, would crack under 1/10th of the shit Ralph eats (literally and figuratively) everyday. Granted he brings most of that on himself, but he just keeps trucking, like a motorized Weeble with Duracell batteries.
That brings me to point 2 - I like Ralph's willingness to immolate himself for our amusement, the man reels from crisis to crisis and has been the most consistent and active cow I've seen since Chris, who is only ahead of Ralph at this point because of an almost 10 year head start.
I like Ralph's funny truffle shuffle that he does when he gets happy.
I also like that Ralph makes Meigh miserable, because she's a fucking vile Clout Horse pedophile and a generally disgusting human being.
I like Ralphs temper. His rants are legit some of the most hysterical things I have ever seen.
Ralph is a vengeful, petty, vindictive man that embodies all 7 of the Deadly Sins, but he has a certain redneck charm to him that keeps me coming back to watch the trashfire.
Theres a lot of bad things I could say about him and have, but I'd be a liar if I said there was nothing I liked about him too.
 
I like the cholestrol in his arteries and the cirrohosis in his liver. I'm cheering them on.
 
Fat, and I will NOT have sex with him.
This brings up another good point about Ralph. I like that he’s the perfect model for how every man thinks he’s the best at fighting, driving, and fucking when we have proof he’s the absolute worst at all of them but will proudly assure himself in front of all his fans that it’s not the case.

Ralph goes viral for his road rage? Um actually it’s YOU who is a bitch and can’t drive. Ralph gets his ass beat twice? Actually it’s badass how long he fought for and you couldn’t last as long as the Ralphamale! Adriane Blaire talks about how the sex with Ralph was so bad she drugged him? Well… Ralph. Go on and talk about sex with Adriane Blaire.
 
One of the few cows I just can't stand to watch. I tried, but within 3 seconds of hearing that hollering voice of his that sounds like it's stuck on capslock, I have to tap out.
 
I like how American he is. He seems more concentrated to me for some reason.

I also like his accent and speaking voice.

I loved how be flipped the double bird when he was on the ground in Portugal. It showed something courageous. I don't know if I would have had the balls to do that if I was in the same situation. Getting to see someone do that was kind of beautiful. It may be something I'll never see again.
 
Despite him being a fat ragetard he has somehow managed to trap a women in his orbit and produce offspring, that's kinda likable I guess.
 
I think when he's not being a big pants shitting crybaby Ralph has a good sense of humor. I go back to this a lot, but the DSP video he made where he was supposed to make a nice promotional video after losing to Jim in mortal kombat is still hilarious. It's something he put a little bit of effort into and he did it after losing a contest, all in good humor.

Back in the day he was good at moderating a debate between two retards too. Normally when I tune in to see people argue on the internet it devolves into a nonsense but Ralph could always stop it from getting stupid by getting frustrated. People would start bitching at each other with no substance until it was just unintelligible noise and Ralph would start hollerin' to get things back on track.

He also really pissed off Brianna Wu that one time and for that I thank him.

Sadly Ralph has no capacity to even take part in a fun little contest or make recorded content. There's no one left willing to show up and debate somebody else on the internet. Now I'm not even sure what the fuck he does on the Killstream anymore aside from complain about people making fun of him. John Flynt is probably still angry though.
 
I like that Ralph always finds a way to steal defeat from the jaws of victory. No matter how much of a W is about to come his way, he always manages to not only fumble the ball at the 1 yard line but double down on whatever massive L he takes. His ability to one-up his own failures is truly remarkable and it's ramping up to a point where he'll do something so self-destructive to own the a-logs that it'll become the pinnacle moment in Kiwifarms history.
 
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