Weird and Cringe things you've seen while working in IT - Since everyone is too lazy to make such a thread where IT bros can vent

[sodaboard]

i've been having flashbacks lately of dealing with quickbooks bullshit and it terrifies me

 

[John Andrews Stan]

i've been having flashbacks lately of dealing with quickbooks bullshit and it terrifies me

Intuit’s drive to move everyone but huge corporations off desktop QB and onto QB Online has been a nightmare for business owners everywhere. And don’t get me started about how they bury and hide frequently used functions deep in their submenus.

 

[Legalize Asbestos]

>old frankenstein million dollar machine installed but not yet in operation
>third world sanitation workers hose down the electrical cabinet
>seals on the cabinet are rotten
>something gets fried because unit was energized
>the power handle wasn't connected to the power switch
>not my monkey, not my circus
>they call in the IT contractor
>I watch him plug his laptop into the module and run diagnostics
>"the SD card with the program is fried, I'll have to write a new custom program."
>$50,000 job
>*he throws the card in the trash
>when no one's looking I grab the SD card
>check it on my computer at home
>the program is still there, it was just the port that was fried.
>this is a $1,000 job at most
>decide to keep the card as an ace up my sleeve
>company never gets around to using this million dollar machine anyway
>we go bankrupt
>that's why I'm posting so much on KF these days

 

[sodaboard]

i hate authenticator i hate iphones i hate the people that use them i hate the people that setup them up i hate the people that geofence the shit out of everything for zero fucking reason there is nothing dangerous or suspicious about some guy from minnesota trying to sign in hes not a fucking somalian they're too stupid to use computer you never have to worry about that shit but unless they set up mfa while on the network they freak the fuck out answer me this nigger if he cant connect to the network how can he setup mfa oh you have to jump through these retarded hoops involving virtual desktops and citrix its all your fault its in the docs oh you mean the dozens of duplice docs with outdated info because you change how this shit works every fucking month YES I AM FUCKING MAD AND I WILL CONTINUE TO BE MAD UNTIL A THERMONUCLEAR BOMB GOES OFF IN REDMOND WASHINGTON

 

[SIMON THE PIEMAN]

I've recently had the displeasure of setting up a new MFA app because the client I've been sent to work with had to be a special snowflake and use something different from the Microsoft Authenticatior. An application so special that for some reason it requires a newer version of Android that my older phone can't handle, even though the functionality of the application is nothing more than "press this button to log in".
I had access to an another Android device that could handle this stuff so it wasn't that big of a deal in the end ,but hat pissed me off was that the manager I was working with attempted to shame me for "not changing my phone frequently enough". This sentiment was echoed by several other people on the team. I thought that switching phones every 1-2 years was just a meme but it looks like not only people are really doing this sort of thing but they also expect other people to do that as well.
It is rare for me to feel like I'm interacting with total normalfags but this time they managed to do it. What was I supposed to do, stop using a perfectly fine phone that fits my own personal needs because it's "old"? I've never had much issues with any other application on it, the battery still works fine, the screen is scratched a bit but it's not a big deal. The fact that I'm expected to throw something like this away for the sake of something that does the exact same thing with zero other benefits is downright insane.

 

[Dreamland]

I've recently had the displeasure of setting up a new MFA app because the client I've been sent to work with had to be a special snowflake and use something different from the Microsoft Authenticatior. An application so special that for some reason it requires a newer version of Android that my older phone can't handle, even though the functionality of the application is nothing more than "press this button to log in".

Literally me, on my second week at the job i edited the entra settings so i could use my yubikey to login. The others don't even know what a yubikey is or that i was fucking with global policy for it.

I now have IT-people from 3 biggish clients bullying me over the mail because i sent out a fake phishing mail about christmas bonuses and to confirm bank accounts.
Got more than a few credential hits to show at their security reports.

The strangest one must be the 1993 IBM-clone i had to set up and noticing how:

1. Editing autoexec.bat and the configs are so surprisingly pleasant, why did we step away from this?!
2. My teamlead and co-workers were repulsed by it, they seemed to be afraid of editing the DOS bootloader.
3. I wasn't immune to this too, i was so used to command history and tabcompletion that it annoyed me. Also fuck setting up a soundblaster 16 and thank you to the cutemouse.sys russkies, you saved me a good few hours searching for a logitech driver that worked.

 

[dame dudi jench]

Also fuck setting up a soundblaster 16 and thank you to the cutemouse.sys russkies, you saved me a good few hours searching for a logitech driver that worked

You fucking pussy, the manual exists bc you're supposed to make your own.

 

[Kiwi Lime Pie]

I now have IT-people from 3 biggish clients bullying me over the mail because i sent out a fake phishing mail about christmas bonuses and to confirm bank accounts.
Got more than a few credential hits to show at their security reports.

Even though most of us at my workplace are technically savvy enough to avoid scam emails, the boss still makes periodic reminders throughout the year to not click on links or download anything unexpected/unsolicited because any sort of privacy breach would be catastrophic for the company.

Intuit’s drive to move everyone but huge corporations off desktop QB and onto QB Online has been a nightmare for business owners everywhere

The worst part is that the cheapest subscription plan is way out of reach for many small businesses that used Quickbooks loyally for the past decade or more. What also sucks is that desktop alternatives seem few and far between. One I recently looked at seems way too difficult to configure for use on a network drive. Another would fit my needs well and is priced reasonably, but a review from someone claiming they never got the annual license they paid for is a concern even if I plan to test drive the demo version.

 

[GeorgeFloydFentanylStash]

For the ones that work in IT, how many of ya’ll have came across bugmen? And share your story please.

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

Not directly IT but I will never ever forget the look of shock and hatred on my manager's face when I discovered and successfully used Excel's inbuilt "Compare Spreadsheets" function. She berated me and told me I should have spent the time working; stupid boomer didn't realize I did it manually, then with Compare Spreadsheets, then manually again to make sure nothing was fucked up. These fucking cavemen were printing about 24 sheets of paper a month just to keep their timewaste of a SQL database up to date. Dumb fucks. They were trying to replicate features from Database Software A in Software B, and they couldn't understand that it was a colossal waste of resources. I'm not an IT professional, but I was writing python to keep myself from getting carpal tunnel syndrome from all the fucking copying and pasting.

As an aside, she told my coworkers not to talk with me about work for four fucking months, I put my resignation letter in her hand less than 10 days later. I am still mad, but mostly because of the pay and benefits; she and the VP tried to ratfuck me out of a job, I took my ball and went home first.

 

[iScream into the void]

I am stopping by again to say I fucking HATE IoT shit like the Ring Doorbell cameras. I don't care how useful it is, I'd rather deal with fucking CCTV installation than those damned cameras. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE OFFICE NETWORK ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR WHORE ASS CAMERAS. WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO CONNECT IT TO A HOTSPOT FIRST THEN SWITCH IT OVER TO THE GODDAMN OFFICE NETWORK YOU PIECE OF SHIT. LITERALLY ALL THE COMPUTERS ON THE NETWORK WORK JUST FINE, WHY IS IT YOUR SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE SHIT WON'T JUST CONNECT TO THE DAMNED NETWORK. HATE HATE HATE

 

[Celebrate Nite]

I am stopping by again to say I fucking HATE IoT shit like the Ring Doorbell cameras. I don't care how useful it is, I'd rather deal with fucking CCTV installation than those damned cameras. WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE OFFICE NETWORK ISN'T GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOUR WHORE ASS CAMERAS. WHY SHOULD I HAVE TO CONNECT IT TO A HOTSPOT FIRST THEN SWITCH IT OVER TO THE GODDAMN OFFICE NETWORK YOU PIECE OF SHIT. LITERALLY ALL THE COMPUTERS ON THE NETWORK WORK JUST FINE, WHY IS IT YOUR SPECIAL SNOWFLAKE SHIT WON'T JUST CONNECT TO THE DAMNED NETWORK. HATE HATE HATE

Anytime I do Uber Eats deliveries, it's a 50/50 shot that the person's ring doorbell is just straight up busted/broken... to the most extreme "the button has been physically removed from the device" sense of the word(s). Or there are the other ones that have BOTH the regular and ring bells.

It's like you said, if all they wanted was a camera, they should have just gotten a camera.

 

[3D2A]

I used to work as a logistic analyst for a fortune 100 company. The job was essentially finding optimal ways to get stuff out of storage in a warehouse and onto a truck to be sent out as fast as possible with as little steps in between.

So I was hired for this job, the company was breaking ground at their new flagship distribution site that would be the "most automated DC in the company". A poster child for them. They put 300-500mil dollars into this site on permits, green certifications (solar, environmental impact, etc), and sourcing the actual automation components. Not even taking into account the building and land itself, which was over 1.2mil sq FT. The company promotes someone from their east coast HQ to be the DC director, a real chode that thought his shit didn't stink and not having the IQ to back up these claims.

Fast forward to us having opened the site and operating for 6 months and we cannot hit the throughput numbers we were sold on with the automation system. I don't remember specifics but we were running at something like 10% the speed it was capable of. This involved a gazillon bridge calls, me defending my job and my routing pathings I designed, and many MANY C-level guys in this huge company to come out. Well one day one of the 3rd party automation engineers made a joke to myself and a group of others "We should download more RAM for the automation". This lit a lightbulb for our server/IT guys to investigate and they found the VM that was running the automation software was set at 512mb of RAM which happens to be the default when creating a new VM. The reason why this is extra funny is that chode of a DC director, it was his job to review the entire "go live" packet which is a checklist of things he signs off saying Yes, this person did this correctly. The DC director literally never saw the "go live" checklist before in his life when asked about it and replied with "Oh I gave that to my assistant". After all the dust settled and we ramped up our throughput numbers I heard mumblings of a 50mil dollar hit to the company by this mishap. But the guy still was employed with the company despite being forcefully moved to a new position.

There's much more to this story but to summarize a lengthy story. DC director is a dick head who tried pushing blame on others.

The christmas before I quit that job I gifted him a DDR2 RAM stick on a keychain. Fuck that guy.

 

[JoshPlz]

I've recently had the displeasure of setting up a new MFA app because the client I've been sent to work with had to be a special snowflake and use something different from the Microsoft Authenticatior. An application so special that for some reason it requires a newer version of Android that my older phone can't handle, even though the functionality of the application is nothing more than "press this button to log in".
I had access to an another Android device that could handle this stuff so it wasn't that big of a deal in the end ,but hat pissed me off was that the manager I was working with attempted to shame me for "not changing my phone frequently enough". This sentiment was echoed by several other people on the team. I thought that switching phones every 1-2 years was just a meme but it looks like not only people are really doing this sort of thing but they also expect other people to do that as well.
It is rare for me to feel like I'm interacting with total normalfags but this time they managed to do it. What was I supposed to do, stop using a perfectly fine phone that fits my own personal needs because it's "old"? I've never had much issues with any other application on it, the battery still works fine, the screen is scratched a bit but it's not a big deal. The fact that I'm expected to throw something like this away for the sake of something that does the exact same thing with zero other benefits is downright insane.

The entirely artificial planned obsolence of smartphones is fucking infuriating. Even manufacturers like Samsung have recently downgraded their update support to 2 years. It's why I refuse to buy anything that costs more than 150$. (And that's the absolutely highest price. You can get a Moto G15 with 8gb ram and 256gb memory for 125$. That's what I would probably go for if I had to right now.)

 

[John Andrews Stan]

It's why I refuse to buy anything that costs more than 150$. (And that's the absolutely highest price. You can get a Moto G15 with 8gb ram and 256gb memory for 125$. That's what I would probably go for if I had to right now.)

The Moto G Play can be had for under $40 and is a decent option for anyone trying to minimize their screen time (Android interface and lack of memory being two use deterrents for me).

The worst part is that the cheapest subscription plan is way out of reach for many small businesses that used Quickbooks loyally for the past decade or more. What also sucks is that desktop alternatives seem few and far between.

Yeah the whole thing sucks. We use a very niche, industry-specific CMS that can sync with QuickBooks, so we are stuck anyway. To my surprise, ChatGPT has been extremely helpful when I’ve asked it to help me find stuff in the newest version of QBO. That makes ChatGPT more valuable than Intuit support ever has been to me.

Speaking of niches, I’m fascinated by clunky government platforms where the state makes organizations upload files and forms for eg grants or procurement contracts. They’re just so unbelievably bad that I can’t help but laugh. Would love to hear from anyone who’s ever worked on such a team.

 

[Disco Inferno]

I hopped on a Teams call with an old lady because she was having issues connecting to her VDI.

It took me 3 minutes to fix. But we spent the next 40 minutes talking about sports, travel, comparing departments, and shooting the shit.

I don't get a lot of positive experiences helping the elderly at my job. So, I plan on cherishing that moment.

 

[Susanna]

They've been replacing the office computers with newer models, including the keyboards and monitors. All the Windows users seem very disappointed with this, since the new machines are Windows 11, but they're not half as disappointed as me, who came in to find my Model M missing and some off-brand Dell-clone piece of shit in its place. Thankfully they'd just thrown it in a bin along with all the other replaced keyboards (higher-quality versions of the new keyboards), and it was intact.

 

[306h4Ge5eJUJ]

as me, who came in to find my Model M missing and some off-brand Dell-clone piece of shit in its place

For some reason office jobs especially will blow big money on ergonomic chairs and sitting/standing hybrid desks, only to then give you a hand destroyer keyboard that feels like tapping on concrete. I just don't get it.

 

[Susanna]

For some reason office jobs especially will blow big money on ergonomic chairs and sitting/standing hybrid desks, only to then give you a hand destroyer keyboard that feels like tapping on concrete. I just don't get it.

"But clicky keyboards create a noisy office environment!"
Stop having your ear against the door to my office then. I know for a fact my typing isn't audible outside the room. And good tactility and perfect key travel is important ergonomics to me, so you can just fuck off and take your mushy "silent linear" plastic garbage with you.

Looove my chair and sit-stand desk though. The mechanism is even strong enough it can lift a 20l desktop aquarium no problem.

 

[3D2A]

They've been replacing the office computers with newer models, including the keyboards and monitors. All the Windows users seem very disappointed with this, since the new machines are Windows 11, but they're not half as disappointed as me, who came in to find my Model M missing and some off-brand Dell-clone piece of shit in its place. Thankfully they'd just thrown it in a bin along with all the other replaced keyboards (higher-quality versions of the new keyboards), and it was intact.

Who the fuck takes a unique piece of equipment and bins it? I've done corporate IT work and basically everyone had a unique mouse and/or keyboard. If we were upgrading machines and saw one of those devices different then the standard issue, we'd leave it. That makes me MATI

"But clicky keyboards create a noisy office environment!"

Can't change my mind that something like MX Blue's belong no where near an office environment. It's rage inducing being near someone with one when trying to do focus work. The rest of the mech key options remain on the table though