Weird and Cringe things you've seen while working in IT - Since everyone is too lazy to make such a thread where IT bros can vent

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Kheapathic said:
As an aside, job I had as a contractor for the government. Had a device that was special, that's all I'll say about it, but the network and security guys say it's not governed by their GPOs.
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Oh my God you're the one who made sure Biden's auto pen was working 😆

Anyway, on my end we're in year FOUR of a One year Salesforce implementation for the Corp.

It'll be year FIVE in approximately 4 weeks 🙂🥲

I think the people implementing it are actually paid saboteurs from a rival corporation.
 
Falcos_Commisar said:
Oh my God you're the one who made sure Biden's auto pen was working 😆
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I'm not that fucking cool. Was standard retarded IT shit, and just don't want to nail down exactly what's what. It wasn't SIPR, it wasn't SCI shit, it just had to have a special configuration to work. Which was what made working with it such a fucking pain; you're the one responsible for this device, yes, and when it has a network cable plugged in, I get network related problems. It's not our problem, it's a local device problem, then why does the problem only exist when plugged into the network, I don't know, but it's not my problem. Then the officer, saying they don't use port security... whatever you fucking say, sir...

This is your tax dollars at work.
 
Kheapathic said:
I'm not that fucking cool. Was standard retarded IT shit, and just don't want to nail down exactly what's what. It wasn't SIPR, it wasn't SCI shit, it just had to have a special configuration to work. Which was what made working with it such a fucking pain; you're the one responsible for this device, yes, and when it has a network cable plugged in, I get network related problems. It's not our problem, it's a local device problem, then why does the problem only exist when plugged into the network, I don't know, but it's not my problem. Then the officer, saying they don't use port security... whatever you fucking say, sir...

This is your tax dollars at work.
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Sounds like government work to me.

If I could jump in immediately as a GS-15 or at least a mid step GS-14 I might do it for the bennies.
 
HR catlady giving a speech about "inclusion" and started blabbering on about "generative AI", because of course. Something something "AI helps bring us together cross-culturally and include more people", yadda yadda. I read between the lines with part of her speech and oh. Oh no. Is she using her gibbering about "inclusion" here to mean "my stupidass vibe coding and your professional engineering degree make us the same! We are all one <3" Kiiiiiiiill me.
 
Remember, GML is just a mechanical replacement for a jeet or a troon. If the jeet needs it to do a good job then they will eventually cut him out as a middleman.
 
Not an IT guy, I work in the lab. Thing is, I am also the engineer that keeps a robotic liquid handler from shitting the bed (vendor with a dodgy firmware suit, how incredibly unique.) Anyhow, what happens when a biochemist that wrote a few fancy python scripts in undergrad needs to use the machine one day? Oh, yeah. He went into the method development software and found out he did not have the privs to define a new method. Just run the premade ones (that I developed and audited on such a manner to perform the actual pipetting tasks while NOT bricking the roughshod software.) He bitches moans and whines at leadership such that my leadership then caves and lets him get dev privs.

He found the underlying "Proprietary Programming language" which is really just C with some custom packages tacked on to it. He then goes ahead and tries to write in some Python bullshit from Chat GPT.

Guess who got his phone blowing up in desperation to unfuck the situation after IT took a look at the situation and said "Lol, fuck you?"

Got my instrument back to work after 6 weeks and 2 vendor visits.
 
So an idiot went full Karen and complained enough to get his vibe coding priviliges and immediately fucked up a machine out of commission for 6 weeks and caused you additional unplanned work. Shouldn't this be a firable offense?
 
BeckhoffAX5702 said:
So an idiot went full Karen and complained enough to get his vibe coding priviliges and immediately fucked up a machine out of commission for 6 weeks and caused you additional unplanned work. Shouldn't this be a firable offense?
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You'd think, except this is biotech. Technically, he didn't do anything that impacts the performance metrics per his job description. Furthermore, we are only just leaving the era of gene therapies where the biochemist is the king of the technical side and CMC engineers are treated as "No, we don't understand what you're doing or why it's important. Here's your budget, make this molecule pretty please, how hard could it be?" That's only recently changing as they are *just* figuring out that CMC is actually the core of making a working drug. So dear ol' Dr. Fuckup can still quietly get his ass back over to discovery/DMPK and not get fired. He cannot, however, enter this lab without me telling him to fuck off.

I imagine there are parallels to this in IT of "No, I don't know what the fuck I am talking about, fix please."
 
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Not in IT but helping a small community org to professionalize their scrappy setup, including moving them off a Gmail address to one on their domain. The various boomers are freaking out that none of the account logins (registered on the Gmail) will work now that they have a new email address. One of the guys melting down also told me Gemini AI could combine image files and spreadsheets into unique files with just five minutes of typing prompts.
 
TEA 3HF said:
You'd think, except this is biotech. Technically, he didn't do anything that impacts the his performance metrics per his job description. Furthermore, we are only just leaving the era of gene therapies where the biochemist is the king of the technical side and CMC engineers are treated as "No, we don't understand what you're doing or why it's important. Here's your budget, make this molecule pretty please, how hard could it be?" That's only recently changing as they are *just* figuring out that CMC is actually the core of making a working drug. So dear or Dr. Fuckup can still quietly get his ass back over to discovery/DMPK and not get fired. He cannot, however, enter this lab without me telling him to fuck off.

I imagine there are parallels to this in IT of "No, I don't know what the fuck I am talking about, fix please."
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Sounds about right for research.

Have a paper close to rejection with one guy asking "what's the significance of the tool you made? how does it compare to these tools already published?"
I looked at the tools he provided and neither one provided work at all. They're completely hardcoded, including input locations. Trying to explain this fact is a fucking fools errand.

EDIT: Honestly in science quality can be fucking shocking. Dunning-Kruger effect is pervasive, and even when I'm admittedly a rookie with coding a lot of things out there fail my sniff test. At times I question if people even test these things as part of reviews.
 
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SIMIΔN said:
An idiot (me) just used regex to batch convert [ObservableProperty] private _thing; to [ObservableProperty] public partial Thing {get;set;} to allow ahead-of-time compilation.
It partially worked, so the idiot tweeked it but my IDE defaulted to replacing projectwide. The end output was like [ObservableProperty] public partial t {get;set;} a hundred times across my app.
I had to revert everything. I feel so dumb, especially when I later found out there was an inbuilt method to convert in seconds.

Don't ever trust me with your unbacked-up code.
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This is why you use version control early and often.
 
Today's retarded Indian manager encounter.

Me: "I have (service) updated to the latest AMI. If security is still flagging individual libraries, that's a whole other conversation about our update process."
Manager: "Are you using the latest AMI?"

Those statements were no joke back to back. There wasn't even an interstitial conversation that would allow him to forget what I just said.
 
A greedy customer of ours wanted on discount on co-pilot licenses as he pointed out its a pilot, hence the name: Co-pilot.

He meant this dead serious.

Thank god I am leaving this job soon.
 
Special power has given to me to sponser something, and I didnt know what to, so my pal told me you guys might enjoy a little promotion! Enjoy!
 
SouthernBitchBob said:
I've said it a thousand times, and I'll probably say it a thousand more. No Jeets. Prepare yourself when you find yourself dealing with them. You might occasionally find a competent Jeet. Don't count on it. A Jeet coworker will wait until the ass end of the day to reply to any question you ask or request you make. They will slow the flow of work as much as possible, only accomplishing one task a day (if that). Conversely, if someone's cracking the whip on them, get ready for a stream of @s coming your way. Help. Help. Are you there? Please reply. I see you online. Please advise. Hurry. Very important. *puts a call on your calendar 5 minutes from now*

Not to outdo themselves, also be prepared for slimy backstabbing. If you have a meeting where you need to report progress on a set of team tasks, bet money that the Jeet will have scrambled to accomplish the bare minimum just before the meeting. He won't tell you that he's done this, but he'll make sure to impress upon the person you're presenting to that he got his task done. He's just waiting on other people to get a move on now.
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My husband and I both have dealt with jeets numbering in the thousands. Between the two of us, we can count less than 5 competent ones.
 
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