- Joined
- Mar 30, 2023
I think they check the metadata of files and see if they can find the associated install license in the company
Weird and Cringe things you've seen while working in IT - Since everyone is too lazy to make such a thread where IT bros can vent
- Thread starter Disco Inferno
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Mad as a Swan
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Aug 16, 2025
That's draconian lol.
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2019
Nothing so complicated. They check how many seats the account has, count how many computers are in use at the company (they might be generous and restrict their count to the relevant department) and if the number of computers is greater than the number of seats, they bring out the lawyers.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2024
We had to find every original installer disc, make sure the installed copies matched the number of licenses exactly, and had the prep period of 90 days notice to get things sorted before the audit.
In reality, this meant hundreds of man-hours searching every filing cabinet, cupboard and box for discs going back ten years, hunting down PCs with unauthorized installations, nuking the installers from any servers they were on, and generally a metric fuckton of hassles.
And the penalty for unauthorized installations was $100,000.00 per installation above licenses.
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
"What seems to be the issue?"
"Well, as you can see, it's red. It's supposed to be green."
I fucking hate these people.
"Well, as you can see, it's red. It's supposed to be green."
I fucking hate these people.
- Joined
- Dec 15, 2022
is he wrong?
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2022
I kindly made the green, sir
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2019
God fucking damn it, I hate working with Microsoft's magical Cloud infrastructure. Sometimes people have weird issues with their Teams client where most of their info is missing. This is caused by the computer being filled to the brim by deadly penises.
We have to use Microsoft's magic wipe command to wipe the semen out of their gargling mouths. However for some people, their mouths are riddled with AIDS, and we have to take the long route to manually reset their machines. Of course, it never fucking works and we have to kindly tell the user to waste 12 hours of their lives coming to the office.
We have to use Microsoft's magic wipe command to wipe the semen out of their gargling mouths. However for some people, their mouths are riddled with AIDS, and we have to take the long route to manually reset their machines. Of course, it never fucking works and we have to kindly tell the user to waste 12 hours of their lives coming to the office.
- Joined
- Sep 10, 2019
Sometimes it's both! People being unable to sign on the former even though they should use the Work one. As always, it was due to jeets putting the home Teams into the task bar. Very good design.
- Joined
- Aug 6, 2024
Just got an email talking about Neurodiversity. Off to the deleted items you go.
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2024
At least there's only one Teams now.
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2018
I find it funny how the scammers assuming incorrect information about myself or my location can't hang up fast enough when I point out their lies and inconsistencies.
With as many Dot Indians in the IT field, it's hard for the thread not to take that turn.
Thread tax: At my day job, we recently got a new printer, but it only has wireless access or a single USB connection. There's no ethernet port. The wireless connection worked fine until everybody's Windows 10 computers auto-updated to Windows 11 when they weren't supposed to. Since then, the printer only prints for the person connecting via USB. Our IT guy figured out the printer somehow got connected to our guest wireless and not the company's private wireless, but he did absolutely nothing to fix the issue so the other 3 people who want to use this printer via wireless for the appropriate tasks can't use it.
- Joined
- Dec 27, 2023
"My computer won't turn on"
Points to powered off monitor that's connected to a Small Form Factor desktop that is obviously on
Those mini desktops are great for a workplace because FUCK lugging around ATX towers but they've really bamboozled some of our end users.
Points to powered off monitor that's connected to a Small Form Factor desktop that is obviously on
Those mini desktops are great for a workplace because FUCK lugging around ATX towers but they've really bamboozled some of our end users.
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2018
Having literal nigger tier support there. What was his excuse, no one told him to fix it, or he didn't think it was that important?
When I was working at the casino, one of my favorite places to go was the reservations department. They were all females, most of them on the higher end of life, who just want to get out of the house or get some money. They'd always have the simplest calls, but were also the most apologetic or would tout you up as some mystical wizard. Get a call, what happened, "I don't know, my computer just turned off." I'll be right down. Show up, so what happened, "I don't know, it just turned off by itself." Sure enough the monitor is off, no power light, look at tower, light is on, press capslock and numlock on keyboard, lights are cycling. Press the monitor button, nothing. Reach around back and reseat the power cord, press power button, monitor turns on, exactly as she remembered. "Oh thank you so much! You're so smart!" Just giving a light smile, "No, it's okay, it's what I'm here for." Simplest fucking things, but they were never rude or impolite or anything. You reseat a power cable and they'll invite you down for when the boss has a pizza day.
- Joined
- Apr 19, 2019
Not strictly IT but related to Internet scams.
Years ago, I was working at a translation office, and one day this customer came in. He was the loner/loser type for everyone to see. He was stubbornly delusional about having won a prize on the Internet and wanted us to make a phone call for him (he didn't speak English) to inquire about the details and whether the people behind it were real.
So I called them. Turns out some jeets (or pakis... they all sound the same to me) had indeed promised him a prize and even assured me that it was indeed all real, and he would only have to travel to their office in London to collect it. The address somewhere on the East End they gave us reeked of BS, a very obvious scam anyone with more than one brain cell could sense even back in the 2000s, when the Internet was still a new thing for a lot of people. Our customer was determined to go there, anyway. We felt truly sorry for the guy, trying our best to talk him out of the whole thing, and only charged him a symbolic amount for the international phone call.
Years ago, I was working at a translation office, and one day this customer came in. He was the loner/loser type for everyone to see. He was stubbornly delusional about having won a prize on the Internet and wanted us to make a phone call for him (he didn't speak English) to inquire about the details and whether the people behind it were real.
So I called them. Turns out some jeets (or pakis... they all sound the same to me) had indeed promised him a prize and even assured me that it was indeed all real, and he would only have to travel to their office in London to collect it. The address somewhere on the East End they gave us reeked of BS, a very obvious scam anyone with more than one brain cell could sense even back in the 2000s, when the Internet was still a new thing for a lot of people. Our customer was determined to go there, anyway. We felt truly sorry for the guy, trying our best to talk him out of the whole thing, and only charged him a symbolic amount for the international phone call.
- Joined
- May 31, 2020
I despise working with the east coast, no matter which job it's been. They don't give a single shit about dragging the west coast out of bed before dawn, flagrantly disrespecting our office hours, but fuck you if you want to meet anytime within their 9-5 if it's after 3:30 their time. It's all fun and games until you get 6am meetings thrown on your calendar. If you object, you'll get something like "I know it's early, but we'd really appreciate it since it's when everyone is available. Feel free to decline if they happen too often! Your office hours are important. BTW I also put a 7am down tomorrow, and two more 6s and a 7:30 next week, really appreciate your attendance since we'll want to ask you questions"
Schedule a meeting at 4 east coast time? Get fucked, you can't cut into my cooldown from work time! I have to pick up muh keeeids. Dinner plans!
Schedule a meeting at 4 east coast time? Get fucked, you can't cut into my cooldown from work time! I have to pick up muh keeeids. Dinner plans!
- Joined
- Jun 11, 2018
I'm not sure what the reason was - especially when it should be easy enough to disconnect it from one network and log into the other.
The issue may be moot. I had an email waiting for me this morning whose TL; DR was, Nobody except (secretary) should use the new printer. The toner runs out quickly, and we have to pay for it ourselves because that printer isn't part of our maintenance contract agreement.
It's true the other heavy-duty printers we have can handle our printing needs, but it seems like overkill to print an address on an envelope with a huge standalone printer when a desktop printer is better suited for the job.
It's always a pleasure and fun to serve those who may be blissfully clueless but genuinely appreciative of one's efforts no matter how simple they may be.
This seems to apply to scheduling events in general. I hate being told, Keep your schedule up to date only to receive pushback when I decline something when it conflicts with a date/time I've blocked off as unavailable.
- Joined
- Sep 28, 2022
If you fumble that you're signing a blood pact swearing to un-fuck the local print spooler forever!It's true the other heavy-duty printers we have can handle our printing needs, but it seems like overkill to print an address on an envelope with a huge standalone printer when a desktop printer is better suited for the job.
6am meetings sounds sweet, I would really like that, at 3-4pm I'm feeling punch drunk.
- Joined
- May 18, 2020
UH hello BASED DEPARTMENT?