Warren Lynch Shitpost General - TRUE and HONEST (former) John Flynt for Congress campaign worker

[Kosher Dill]

Also, write me a novel, imaginary people!

All right.
https://kiwifarms.net/attachments/electioneveintro-5-29-2004-version-doc.476534/

 

[MMX]

In fairness, that was back when his plan was to get Giant Spacekat bought out by EA for millions and billions of dollars (yeah lol) I don't recall him continuing the EA fanboyism after his company definitively flamed out.

EA were fools not to do so.
Remember how giant space cat were working on a progressive AI that would test the player and read their emotional stimuli then create a unique story telling experience.....fuck cup cake crisis was going to be so awesome.

 

[W person cow]

Warren, having worked with both Wu and Vermin Supreme, whose candidacy, drive, vision, etc... impressed you most? I understand the comparison is difficult as one is an aging man who is more performance artist than politician while the other is Vermin Supreme, but please humor me.

I mean obviously Vermin Supreme is a genius and a national treasure.

Warren, you need to stop believing your own bullshit about the guy you claimed was your cousin but isn't. It's obvious you don't like him, but blatant smears like calling him alcoholic and stupid are not only lies but they make you look immature too.

That's because I *am* immature
Although he's also stupid and has brain damage from alcohol abuse. I don't think he drinks anymore, but he still slurs his speech, and his face is a shapeless mass of destroyed tissue.

State the exact policies of his you don't agree with. Direct quotes (real quotes, not 'he said something like this') that catch him out sounding dumb. Actual, verifiable accounts of things he's done that are embarrassing for a politician - and by verifiable, I mean reported on a credible news source, or by two or more independent witnesses (and not just you and your stoner friends).

That sounds really boring and dumb. If I were still working for Brianna I would, but I already did plenty of that boring crap. His policies are shit but I don't have to prove it anymore. I can just shitpost. The 8th is going to have a crappy representative in Congress this cycle any which way, so who cares?
Although maybe I will get to it later today after actual work. But my goal is no longer to try and defeat or weaken Stephen Lynch. I'm not running against him. I'm just shitposting about him because he's a cow.

If you want a career in politics and want to be taken seriously as an adult with opinions, state concrete reasons for disliking or disagreeing with someone. 'He's a drunk and evil and an idiot' when all proof says otherwise just makes you look the idiot.

I think a lot of people on here are confused about what politics is. I'm not, in fact, running against Stephen Lynch. I'm shitposting about him because he sucks.
Although that's kind of boring in itself. We should change the subject back to ponies.

 

[MMX]

Warrens gone full kengle
Never go full kengle

 

[W person cow]

I always go full knenglel and also what is a kengle

 

[Dimethyl Ketone]

^^^^^^^ see, this is the funny shit right here. I guess that's why I stay on this thread. When the joke's on me and it's accurate and I cry tears of laughter.
Less psychoanalysis, more memes. Kronk demands memes. Also, write me a novel, imaginary people! Dance around inside the machine box!

It's okay. You can call us "niggers" You don't need to use "^^^^^^^", we all know what you mean. Fag.

You already admitted to thinking Brianna was hot.

You're making fun of someone who was an alcoholic but got his life back on track for his past mistakes. That's not very progressive of you. Or nice.
Make fun of him for his policies if they are bad. If he is some evil stupid maniac ruining the whole place, PROVE IT. Name-calling only shows you have no other argument or qualm.
Or I guess is he still in trouble for voting in 1993 that someone being a tranny and not telling the other person until the dick pops out in sex and that person smacks the other guy and kills him it may not be murder?

You've made a lot of mistakes. If you expect people to forgive you for them and allow you the chance to grow and improve, why do you not give others the same opportunity?


EDIT: You've also asked us to focus on jokes and less on psychoanalysis of you. That's easy: stop being a joke.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

It's okay. You can call us "niggers" You don't need to use "^^^^^^^", we all know what you mean. Fag.

He was pointing at the above post... not censoring himself.

 

[Dr. Boe Jangles Esq.]

That's because I *am* immature
Although he's also stupid and has brain damage from alcohol abuse. I don't think he drinks anymore, but he still slurs his speech, and his face is a shapeless mass of destroyed tissue.

See, this is what I don't get. Why is your stomach for being mean so choosy?
Like, it's fine to mock someone's recovery from substance abuse, but the second we make fun of the fact that Brianna Wu is very obviously a tranny, you get all pissy. You went on at length about how "exposing someone for being trans is a shitty thing to do".
So are you a hypocrite or not?
But sure, you like "memes". Lemme get you another one:

See, it's funny because your former boss, despite "running every day" is becoming a fatass.

 

[Dimethyl Ketone]

See, this is what I don't get. Why is your stomach for being mean so choosy?
Like, it's fine to mock someone's recovery from substance abuse, but the second we make fun of the fact that Brianna Wu is very obviously a tranny, you get all pissy. You went on at length about how "exposing someone for being trans is a shitty thing to do".
So are you a hypocrite or not?
But sure, you like "memes". Lemme get you another one:

See, it's funny because your former boss, despite "running every day" is becoming a fatass.

Ewwwwww, why are their fucking cum stains all over the front of this dress?

Man, I fucking really like potbellys too. They're a shit ton better than Subway or Jimmy Johns.
Now it's like... man I just don't know.

 

[AnOminous]

That's because I *am* immature
Although he's also stupid and has brain damage from alcohol abuse. I don't think he drinks anymore, but he still slurs his speech, and his face is a shapeless mass of destroyed tissue.

Dude, we've all seen pictures of him. So when your description of him is completely at variance with reality, it's pretty much impossible to credit anything else you say about him, because everything you say about him is warped by obsessive hatred. If you want your criticism of him to carry any weight, it shouldn't obviously contradict reality, like the outright bizarre claim that he looks like W.C. Fields.

Unless you actually have some kind of inability to recognize faces, there is no way you can put a picture of Lynch next to Fields and claim with a straight face they look remotely similar.

 

[Plissken]

Uhhh Warren... Alcohol abuse typically doesn't lead to such extensive brain damage that the person's speech is slurred when they are sober. Even over time, you are more likely to die of liver failure than suffer such extensive brain damage.
Now, if he suffered WITHDRAWAL syndromes from trying to stop his addiction (If, as you say, he kicked alcohol)... What would cause slurred speech would be if he had a seizure, in which case he's lucky to not be a vegetable.

Also, I will point out that judging from other posters, yeah, you don't know this person. The remarks you say about him are really dick-ish, especially if he actually fought with alcoholism and won (Say what you want, guys. Beating alcoholism is insanely difficult.).

Lastly, even if this person is half of what you describe them to be, they still aren't nearly as much of a Lolcow as you are.

 

[Terrorist]

YOU NEVER LET ME GO TO THE MALL, GRANDPA!

OMG where does the fierce defense of Stephen Lynch come from? Is it his total lack of convictions of any kind? Or perhaps the oatmeal-like consistency of his near-liquid face?

lol you really don't know who your constituents are, do you?

The older, white, socially-conservative blue-collar union democrats who make up a lot your potential voters will always pick a guy like Lynch who's one of them and shares their values over some bernie bro interloper. I think you should be thanking Lynch, because those voters are tired of your PC bullshit and probably would've defected to Trump if it wasn't for him. Some of your economic policy might appeal to them, but unless you divorce that from sanctuary cities and planned parenthood pride parades, they'll never buy what you're selling.

TBH from reading this thread you come across as really desperate to prove how much better and woker you are than Bribri, and that you were some kind of misunderstood political genius who would've turned around the entire campaign if Brianna had only let you. But, from you own posts, you just look like an inexperienced jackass whose sucking up to an obvious crazy person blew up in his face, and is now scrambling to save face. If I was you, I'd admit how stupid I was, smoke a bowl, and move on with my life.

 

[Plissken]

lol you really don't know who your constituents are, do you? The older, white, socially-conservative blue-collar union democrats who make up a lot your potential voters will always pick a guy like Lynch who's one of them and shares their values over some bernie bro interloper that doesn't know a damn thing about what they want. You should be thanking Lynch, because those voters are tired of your PC bullshit and would've probably defected to Trump if it wasn't for his faction of the party. Some of your economic policy might appeal to them, but unless you divorce that from sanctuary cities and planned parenthood pride parades, they'll never buy what you're selling.

TBH from reading this thread you come across as really desperate to prove how much better and woker you are then Bribri, and that you were some kind of misunderstood political genius that would've turned around the entire campaign if Brianna had only let you. But, from you own posts, you just look like an inexperienced jackass whose sucking up to an obvious crazy person blew up in his face, and is now scrambling to save face. If I was you, I'd admit how stupid I was, smoke a bowl, and move on with my life

He wouldn't be a Lolcow if he could move on with his life as easily as a normal person.

 

[W person cow]

lol you really don't know who your constituents are, do you?

Lol. You mean *you* don't know who my constituents are. News flash: For the 7th time now, I'm not running against Stephen Lynch, or for the 8th. That's Brianna.

 

[Dimethyl Ketone]

Lol. You mean *you* don't know who my constituents are. News flash: For the 7th time now, I'm not running against Stephen Lynch, or for the 8th. That's Brianna.

He meant the constituents in your area. Because of all your sperging about why Stephen Lynch is the devil and you don't understand how he keeps winning despite how "everyone is progressive" just like you. Dude's explaining it to you reaaaal slow now, come on, try again.

 

[W person cow]

I've actually been elected by voters 6 times in Malden now. I might be out of touch with the 8th, but Malden is in the 5th. You might guess Malden is conservative because we're low income, and lots of Malden civic leaders would agree with you, but the voters seem to disagree.
Here we like a brawl, a circus, a bloodsport, or all three. We're pretty nonpartisan but we'll vote for a colorful right OR left winger over somebody boring, 10 times out of 10.

Malden chose to elect me to:
Chair of the Malden Democratic Issues Committee (unanimously elected)
2017 Ward 2 Alternate Delegate to the State Convention
2017 Fifth Middlesex Convention Whip, Our Revolution Massachusetts
Winner of the 2018 Malden's Emerging Leaders award
2018 Ward 2 Delegate to the State Convention
Malden Democratic City Committee member

 

[Terrorist]

Lol. You mean *you* don't know who my constituents are. News flash: For the 7th time now, I'm not running against Stephen Lynch, or for the 8th. That's Brianna.

No, dumbass. Do you not understand figurative language? I meant “constituents” in the sense of potential voters in the district who you, as Brianna’s agent, helped market her to. And you sure acted like you were the one running, given how much of your personal politics you injected into the campaign.

Bribri sure rubbed off on you, since you both like playing dumb gotcha games with semantics instead of actually arguing a point. Come to think of it, that’s a major reason why your party is losing voters: you’re a bunch of insufferable pedants who care more about speech codes than people.

 

[W person cow]

No, dumbass. Do you not understand figurative language? I meant “constituents” in the sense of potential voters who you, as an agent of Brianna, were trying to help market her to. They were “your” constituents in that they were the subject of your actions. And you sure acted like you were the one running, given how much of your personal politics you injected into the campaign.

Bribri sure rubbed off on you, since you both like playing dumb gotcha games with semantics instead of actually arguing a point. Come to think of it, that’s a major reason why your party is losing voters: you’re a bunch of insufferable pedants who care more about anal speech codes than people.

Another news flash, OMG. I no longer work for Brianna, and I do not care what her constituents think of her anymore. I care about Malden and we like brawls, controversy, arguments, lead-free water, good housing and librarians in our schools.

See, this is what I don't get. Why is your stomach for being mean so choosy?

Because I like some things and not other things?

Like, it's fine to mock someone's recovery from substance abuse, but the second we make fun of the fact that Brianna Wu is very obviously a tranny, you get all pissy. You went on at length about how "exposing someone for being trans is a shitty thing to do".

For all the comments about "SJWs", posters here sure are deep into the moralizing. Making fun of somebody's alcohol-soaked brain damage from decades of dipsomania is of course also a shitty thing to do. But what can I say, he's a shit person and only marginally even a human being.

So are you a hypocrite or not?

Yes duh, everyone is, outside of some kind of bad church lesson somewhere.

But sure, you like "memes". Lemme get you another one:

See, it's funny because your former boss, despite "running every day" is becoming a fatass.

That was why she was running every day. I don't know if she is now or not.

 

[Peace and Harmony]

For all the comments about "SJWs", posters here sure are deep into the moralizing. Making fun of somebody's alcohol-soaked brain damage from decades of dipsomania is of course also a shitty thing to do. But what can I say, he's a shit person and only marginally even a human being.

There's no moralising here, Warren. It's not my morals you offend when you post something like this. All you do is reveal yourself to be a shit person.

"Ha ha I know I'm a shit person! And Peace and Harmony is such a special snowflake!" Get help nigga. All of you are like this.

 

[W person cow]

Lolwhut