UN Venezuela Megathread - Mercenaries 2 references galore! Cubanodun is MVP

With the news of an attempted army uprising ending in many arrests happening in the troubled nation, I think now is the time to just say 'Post all Venezuela related news here'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-40843494

The civil war is upon us.

 

[TaimuRadiu]

Tell me if its just my misinterpretation of yall's founding father; being a Yanqui destined to conquer North America in the name of manifest destiny and all; but wouldn't Simon Bolivar absolutely abhor what Chavez & Maduro have turned Venezuela into in his name?

(Not that Washington would be happy with the current state of US politics, but still)

No no, you call it the Bolivarian Revolution, that would mean Bolivar would be all for it.

Just like the Christian militias that form up "in the name of the Founding Fathers" to resist the Federal govt despite Washington heading in person to quash the Whiskey Rebellion.

 

[Cubanodun]

So meanwhile you americans are having fun looting we got the new set of bad news ou yeah lets start

The Chaviztas and practically everyone else got hit by what was coming, Empanada man announced terrible things as a victory for some reason also he added that he will never yield to the empire like he is some kind of poor misunderstood soul

First announcement: Fuel is now in dollars, 0.5$ per liter, maximum 120 liters per month and you need the stupid ID he invented to keep annoying people to dead

Second one: "flexibilization" of the lockdown, that was not a lockdown he just forced all the country to be in their house for 77 days just because there was no fuel, it mostly regard industries and other business but the only thing that changed is that he extended the limit for 2 pm to 4 pm and thats it

Third one: because he is a petulant manchild he celebrated that DIRECTV is not in the country anymore (this after vowing to restore the signal in 24 hours but hey facts, we dont use that here) he then claimed that he is going to put a best subscription services... that i dont know wich gay channels are going to have because he is blacklisted from everything he is very butthurt about DIRECTV leaving because all his gay channels rating passed from 0 to -100000

For context we had a plan to go from analogue to digital and even put a factory to give the people the converters to do it, the plan was forgotten, the factory closed and it was not talked again, also the satellite we had and promoted to hell and back the chinese throwed it to the atmosphere to burn because we did not pay the extension

Fourth one: not a announcement but he has the big balls to say that "he knows there are mafias with the fuel", mafias that ironically are leadeared by his friends on the army, he probably was allowed to throw that bone to keep pretenses

Fifth one: because his head can't process the fact that he destroyed our main industry he vow to keep importing gasoline even when orange man is fucking his life badly, he did not mention that the shipment came incomplete, two boats are missing because were hit by sanctions

i had to listen to his whining about america bad for like a hour until he finally said something important good grief just shut up and neck yourself

 

[Ghostse]

Maduro status:
Still unchurroed.

 

[CaesarCzech]

No no, you call it the Bolivarian Revolution, that would mean Bolivar would be all for it.

Just like the Christian militias that form up "in the name of the Founding Fathers" to resist the Federal govt despite Washington heading in person to quash the Whiskey Rebellion.

To be fair Goverment in Washington times and today are different beasts, Washington wasnt Federal fanatic even if he more of federalist

 

[Cubanodun]

but wouldn't Simon Bolivar absolutely abhor what Chavez & Maduro have turned Venezuela into in his name?

If you mean by using his name as a political tool to enforce nationalism , seeing the country invaded again by foreigners, his name being tied to the worst era that the country ever had and people actually despising his name because now is tied to communism and oppresion , yeah he would be livid

Oh let me add that there are two superstition around Bolivar

The first one is the legend that if you receive a replica of his sword from Maduro or received one from Chavez you are going to be cursed with terrible luck and probably get killed

The second one is the fun one , years ago the commies decide to get his bones out of his tomb in the national pantheon, is stated that everyone that was present during the reconstruction and the transmission was cursed and they are dying like flies , it did not help that they used his skull to make a new 3D model of his face to splatter everywhere to remove the old one because that was the one approved by the 4th republic and even when the commies forgot that detail the one that Bolivar himself got impressed for how accurate it was, its even stated by some people that Venezuela went to the super shit when they desecrated his bones and is forever cursed to never be free again because of it

 

[break these cuffs]

To be fair Goverment in Washington times and today are different beasts, Washington wasnt Federal fanatic even if he more of federalist

Was Washington the first Philly Phanatic?

 

[Cubanodun]

I have not forgotten this thread my dudes lets get with the news while we wait for god emperor trump to own the libs with the national guard

So in another weird day the impossible happened, the two autistic retards from both sides decide to join forces to fight Corona chan this as i'm going to explain later has several consequences for both sides

Some things have to be clarified first is not exactly a "deal" between those two is more like a agreement between members of both sides and the PAHO (pan american health organization), this has come to bite both in the ass

Consequences for the Chavismo:

Their internal base are in dissarray and confusion because they dont know why this move happened overnight, this come after the supreme court declared Parra (the one that stormed the AN and declared himself president of it) the only legit person that could talk for the congress, this movement mean that his uses have been canned and he is now sidelined and forgotten, and with him out of the picture Maduro is recognizing Guaido as legit president of the congress a pill that some have still not processed

Some chaviztas are breaking the indoctrination and guessed why, is because the fuel that was supposed to last weeks dissapeared in 1 day

Consequences for the opposition:

Sadly the same could be said about Guaido, because this is a implicit admission that Maduro is actually president and his cabinet is actually legit thing that Guaido has been denying for almost a year, his base are calling him a traitor

In the tweet that he is subtweeting Ledezma, a mayor of caracas that was arrested and tortured, tell him that the best solution of this is to make a deal with the DEA or someone to take those fucker commies out of the country and that without removing Maduro first this is not going to fix jackshit, Guaido then goes in a mental gymnastic saying that the DEA is actually doing something (they are but not what he is implying) and that the bounty of Maduro head must mean something and that the money that the PAHO is going to get will surely help the venezuelan people

The problem and thing that he is not saying is that even in the PAHO is going to get the money and the medicines WE KNOW who is going to recieve it, is going to be the army and we know what is going to happen when those fuckers touch anything, they are going to be stolen and reselled in the black market at outrageous prices, Maduro is a spiteful cunt and is going to put horrible BUTS to distribute the medicine

So both sides are now a shitfest murdering themselves for this

 

[Cubanodun]

So ready for more N I U S, lets laugh at the worst country on earth by showing how we can top everyone in how dumb our government can be

So, since a week ago Maduro has been oddly silent and knowing that the election for congress are just around the corner he decided to play a game of chicken with the opposition because they "oddly" forgot to name the new directors of the CNE so in a way to make them look bad and powerless like always he decide to use his tugs with fancy clothes aka our supreme court to call them in "legislative omission" and name them themselves because reasons

After a round of screamings and hysterical screaming the supreme thugs decided to give a 72 hours time limit to force the opposition, they told them to fuck off and they will take their time to designate them totally forgot that they add 4 years for that, he actually believed this was a smart move until america appeared to say "you are not fooling anyone, the sanctions will continue, fuck you"

So after that little stunt that not even their own base liked it (there was actually no reason to do this, they have the election already rigged) and after more screamings Maduro decide to go full nuclear and used the thing that chavez always dreamed destroy the opposition by just forcing bullshit ad hoc echelons on it with traitors on charge, the sentence declare that those people can and will use the symbols, entire infrastructure and organization to their own ends, they did this to 3 political parties by now ,AD that is one of the oldest enemies of the chavizmo, Primero Justicia another big political party and UNT a party that was mostly center in Zulia that also hate the chavismo

Obviously the traitors were losers on the same party that never won anything, they got excommunicated and the entire parties told them to enjoy empty buildings and no one giving a shit about them

When the european union and everyone in the planet told him that they are not buying his little stunts he went in a tirade that im not exagerating and translating exactly like he say in the video "i dont give a fuck about the european union or anyone else, we are going to have elections even if they dont want too"

You ask why he is doing this when he has all the powers of the state under his control, the reason is that Alex Saab the one that was bankrolling and getting him all the money he need from shady business was arrested recently in Africa (with gold from our central bank for good measure) so now he doesn't have the dosh to maintain his parasites

Supposedly there is a diplomatic struggle between USA and Russia because the ruskies are blocking his deportation and America want to arrest him badly

 

[Glad I couldn't help]

A Latin American polsci professor read the chapter on Venezuela in John Bolten's new book.

Highlights:

• Trump oscillated between invasion and openly supporting Maduro. So he would talk invasion in speeches while also proposing meetings with him.
• He called Guaidó "the Beta Beto O'Rouke of Venezuela" and noted after a meeting that his wife was very young and didn't wear a wedding ring (i.e. prime cucking material).
• Putin call him the "Hillary Clinton of Venezuela", in a meeting. Russia's support of the regime dissuaded the President of taking more aggressive measures.
• The main driver on keeping Trump on target in Venezuela was Senator Marco Rubio.
• Remember the 5k troops on Bolton's yellow pad? It was a "prank" designed to fuck with the minds of the press, which is Trump's best (and maybe his only) political talent.
• Treasury Secretary Mnuchin really didn't like the sanctions policy.
• Bolton is a self-aggrandizing ass, so all of this should be taken with a grain of salt.

 

[Adamska]

Bolton's just trying to sell his book and is Orange Man Badding because he wants more wars to fap to, so fucking disregard anything he says pretty much.

 

[Cubanodun]

• Trump oscillated between invasion and openly supporting Maduro. So he would talk invasion in speeches while also proposing meetings with him.

Maduro absolute loathe America with every fiber of his being, remember this is the guy that did childish things like refusing to say the word "dollar" on public because he could not tolerate that our own currency was shit, a reunion surely would not happen ever in a million years, Bulton is bullshitting on that one

He called Guaidó "the Beta Beto O'Rouke of Venezuela" and noted after a meeting that his wife was very young and didn't wear a wedding ring (i.e. prime cucking material).

I would not be surprised that she removed it or keep it safe at home, using jewelry in Venezuela is frowned and not recommended it unless you want to be mugged and killed, worse, if you are picking a international flight where the thugs of the National Guard can rob you with impunity

Putin call him the "Hillary Clinton of Venezuela", in a meeting. Russia's support of the regime dissuaded the President of taking more aggressive measures.

Putin has been a weird case with Venezuela, he sometimes looks like a ally that is always there for us but recently his "support" reduce to send one of his ministers to collect the payment to our debts, im not kidding, they like to announce it as "meetings for the creation of new ways of cooperation" but in reality is "well the plane is there, i want it full of gold and im leaving this shithole in a hour so please hurry"

• The main driver on keeping Trump on target in Venezuela was Senator Marco Rubio.

This i can say is true, Marco even came to the border with Colombia to meet with Venezuelan Refugees and he absolute hate commies and allies of the Cuban Regime

 

[Glad I couldn't help]

Oil drilling in Venezuela has gone to 0.

The real surprise is that it took this long to get here.

 

[Without A Gout]

View attachment 1423058

Oil drilling in Venezuela has gone to 0.

The real surprise is that it took this long to get here.

Who the hell knew that actively neglecting the infrastructure of your main resource, combined with a steady depreciation of said resource's value, would cause your country to be unable to even extract the one thing that prevent's it from going into abject poverty.

Also something about being not real socialism.

 

[Ghostse]

Who the hell knew that actively neglecting the infrastructure of your main resource, combined with a steady depreciation of said resource's value, would cause your country to be unable to even extract the one thing that prevent's it from going into abject poverty.

Also something about being not real socialism.

Venezuela looking to achieve its gold of zero carbon emissions.

 

[Adamska]

View attachment 1423058

Oil drilling in Venezuela has gone to 0.

The real surprise is that it took this long to get here.

ECONOMY IS GONE

It's really telling how pathetic Venezuela is as a country when not even that can get riots or revolution. Fuck man, you make the French look brave, and all their brave people died in trenches 100 years ago.

 

[Cubanodun]

View attachment 1423058

Oil drilling in Venezuela has gone to 0.

The real surprise is that it took this long to get here.

There was only 1 and it finally died, i dont know what they are going to do with the deal with the iranians (they can provide fuel but not unrefined oil), also this confirm why Maduro is rushing the next elections to finally recover his old SUDO powers, even when is pointless and useless and everyone and their grandmother told him that they are not going to recognize those elections, the rushing became worse after his main man Alex Saab was finally greenlighted for deportation to the USA by the authorities of Cabo verde, when he land in american soil he is going to be fuck three ways to hell

Edit:

Offtopic but a shame Chavez is not alive to see Americans shitting on him by refusing to use the Simon Bolivar he invented for propaganda

 

[Exterminatus]

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-venezuela-gold/uk-government-recognises-guaido-as-venezuelas-president-in-gold-dispute-judge-rules-idUSKBN2431FG?il=0

In the UK, where the Bank of England holds 2 billion dollars worth of Venezuelan gold the judge rules against Maduro in regards to him having access to the money.

 

[Cubanodun]

https://www.reuters.com/article/us-venezuela-gold/uk-government-recognises-guaido-as-venezuelas-president-in-gold-dispute-judge-rules-idUSKBN2431FG?il=0

In the UK, where the Bank of England holds 2 billion dollars worth of Venezuelan gold the judge rules against Maduro in regards to him having access to the money.

The iranians are not happy, part of that money was to pay them and the other part is to pay for gibs because we are in electoral campaign, is time to give gibs like there is no tomorrow

 

[Ghostse]

The iranians are not happy, part of that money was to pay them and the other part is to pay for gibs because we are in electoral campaign, is time to give gibs like there is no tomorrow

well if gold is too expensive, here's to hoping lead gets exchanged.

 

[Cubanodun]

A little update for my brothers, since yesterday people noticed that Diosdado Cabello (right hand of Maduro) in his shitty TV program was sneezing and coughing a lot and he claimed that it had some kind of allergies and needed to take a break, apparently last night his "allergies" got worse and then he had to finally admit and confirm what everyone knows, the fucker has the Kung flu

He is so universally hated that his name is #1 TT, anyone would believe that the people is sending his prayers but no, is tweet after tweet of people cheering for the virus and wishing death to him

Also tons of Dancing coffin guys videos