UN Venezuela Megathread - Mercenaries 2 references galore! Cubanodun is MVP

With the news of an attempted army uprising ending in many arrests happening in the troubled nation, I think now is the time to just say 'Post all Venezuela related news here'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-40843494

The civil war is upon us.

 

[Ghostse]

Because that worked out so well for Noriega. What a dumb plan.

Pretty much. The more he does this shit the more justified the US is to wreck him. He must really believe that the Ruskies and the Chinese will swoop in to his rescue. He is that delusional. It's the Caribbean, they have no power there. It's effectively a US lake. Nobody is coming to save his ass if SHTF. The only reason the US hasn't is... fucking why. To get ahold of their shitty oil equipment and neglected fields that will take many billions of dollars and a decade to get working again for crappy sour crude that is worth dick? Gee thanks. You shouldn't have. No really, you shouldn't. It's a bad investment.

When they start holding US citizens as political hostages though, well, that's a pretty good reason to intervene. Not for oil but to remind the world that fucking with US citizens is a very bad idea. Many people have been killed for far less.

I don't think the world has woken up to how much the North Dakota oil fields have changed global political calculus. The US has gone from the #1 importer of oil to a (net) exporter*. After the oil embargo in the 70s, the US political calculus was fully based on ensuring access to oil and roughly doing anything to ensure that our economy wasn't going to get crippled by lack of oil again.
This is the reason the Iraq invasion got sign off (maybe not the reason GWB went with it) - there was concern Al Queda would do something to remove the US's access to Saudi oil (Revolution, bombing oil fields, etc). Iran wasn't a good alternative, and the US had provided backing to a Venezuela coup just before so they were out. Thus by toppling Iraq you provide islamists both a new target that isn't the US or SA and open up Iraq's oilfeilds again.

With North Dakota, this is no longer a concern. The US still has a vested economic and political interest in SA, but protecting all oil supplies at all costs is no longer needed.

There's no real reason to go make Venezuela's fucked up shitshow the US's problem, as we don't need their shitty sludge oil anymore.

Russia and China are not Venezeula's Allies. They are the US's...enemies is not the right word... Rivals. They don't like Venezuela, they are only helping out Maduro because doing so is low-cost (Politically, that is: both are making money hand over fist) and undermines US interests. They are not going to step up to the plate if someone tries to Churro the Maduro.


*US Oil companies still buy a lot oil - partly due to existing contracts, partly to keep productive feilds producing (its hard to "shut off" wells, especially in a manner that allows you to reopen them without (effectively) redrilling them), partly because they want different types of oil, partly because with no pipeline shipping the oil from Dakota is still expensive, inefficient, and bottlenecked - but the products are increasingly being exported.

I'm beginning to wonder if these exceptional fucks aren't actively hoping to precipitate some kind of intervention, because getting overthrown will allow them to make the face saving claim that 'the revolution didn't fail, it was those dirty capitalist anglos that killed it'.
America should stay the duck out of things and let them carry the can for their hubris.

The government has completely failed them. People are starving and dying of unstocked hospitals. And other than some pissy marches, the people haven't done anything to try to throw off the yoke. No armories stormed, no oposition roadblocks. As far as I'm concerned they have the government they want and deserve, and no non-Venezuelan should have to put their lives on the line for the freedom of people apparently content with their situation.

 

[Cubanodun]

I'm beginning to wonder if these exceptional fucks aren't actively hoping to precipitate some kind of intervention

Words in the street is that the conversation with the russian representative had terrible results and in a dumb way to get a way out they want american hostages to negotiate in case Orange man want to Sulemani'd Maduro, funny that after that guy got yeeted he refuse to appear in open air spaces

the people haven't done anything to try to throw off the yoke

This is a common misconception i have repeatedly debunked, the problem with the Venezuelan is not that they are happy with their government is that for freaking 20 years we have tried to get rid of them but every time we have a little progress the fucks of the opposition need to appear to sit down in stupid negotiation tables that never work, is not that we dont want to, is that we are fucking tired of being betrayed repeatedly, the common opinion is "why bother? if we protest we are surely going to get killed and our deaths will be a hashtag at best", Venezuela is a excellent case of Political apathy, we already assume that everything is bad and is never going to get better

To give you a more exact answer everything went to the shit when Capriles refused to fight his victory against Maduro because he wanted to prevent a "civil war" he then say to the people that everything was going to be all right and that please dont protest instead go outside and dance salsa, this stunt cost him his political career and was memory holed very quickly by the opposition, and with him every opportunity to get people to vote again died and to this day there is no hope for any kind of resurge

and no non-Venezuelan should have to put their lives on the line for the freedom of people apparently content

The reason Orange man is invested here is not for our oil, is because is confirmed that every single allahu snackbar that want to bomb the USA is living rent free here, is like the cuban missile crisis but a little further down, even if he decide to yeet Maduro our refineries and infrastructure is so wrecked that it would be more cheaper to just blow everything and make it from scratch

I remember fondly a comment that someone made to a Chavizta on twitter that was screaming that Trump wanted to annex Venezuela to the states and someone responded that if he do that all venezuelans will vote republicans for decades

Still im still found weird that Chevron is still here just waiting for something

 

[Comicsgeist]

Words in the street is that the conversation with the russian representative had terrible results and in a dumb way to get a way out they want american hostages to negotiate in case Orange man want to Sulemani'd Maduro, funny that after that guy got yeeted he refuse to appear in open air spaces

That's just playing to the crowd for sympathy and a convenient excuse to keep his public engagements private to avoid crowed gathering or offer a juicy target for enemies far closer to home. Sulemani was just a sand nigger in an active war zone, not an elected head of state. Nobody's going to fucking drone strike Maduro, he just wants to bellow 'the Yankies are coming! The Yankies are coming! to distract the sheep.

 

[Cubanodun]

'the Yankies are coming! The Yankies are coming! to distract the sheep.

The sheeps don't care, is been 21 years already of screaming the same shit again and again, deep down everyone know that Maduro and Chavez wanted a war to justify being more extreme but the promise holy war against the evil empire never came and even if they come is going to be this shit all over again

Fun fact: the high command fleed so fast that they practically forgot about Maduro, he almost got rolfstomped and only his two bodyguards stayed with him

 

[Ghostse]

This is a common misconception i have repeatedly debunked, the problem with the Venezuelan is not that they are happy with their government is that for freaking 20 years we have tried to get rid of them but every time we have a little progress the fucks of the opposition need to appear to sit down in stupid negotiation tables that never work, is not that we dont want to, is that we are fucking tired of being betrayed repeatedly, the common opinion is "why bother? if we protest we are surely going to get killed and our deaths will be a hashtag at best", Venezuela is a excellent case of Political apathy, we already assume that everything is bad and is never going to get better

To give you a more exact answer everything went to the shit when Capriles refused to fight his victory against Maduro because he wanted to prevent a "civil war" he then say to the people that everything was going to be all right and that please dont protest instead go outside and dance salsa, this stunt cost him his political career and was memory holed very quickly by the opposition, and with him every opportunity to get people to vote again died and to this day there is no hope for any kind of resurge

Again, this is not the problem of anyone who isn't Venezuelan.
Find better leaders and actually revolt, or just acknowledge that while you and a few sane people are still trapped in the country, the current state of things is simply what the majority of the country wants by virtue of the fact they keep voting for it.

 

[⠠⠠⠅⠑⠋⠋⠁⠇⠎ ⠠⠠⠊⠎ ⠠⠠⠁ ⠠⠠⠋⠁⠛]

Status of anti guaido faction: PLATINUM MAD

El Jefe welcomed back to thunderous applause from his many supporters

 

[Cubanodun]

El Jefe welcomed back to thunderous applause from his many supporters
WQtiPS7enUzBio6g-WQtiPS7enUzBio6g.mp4
View attachment 1142727

Those were colectivos disguised as employees of CONVIASA aka Maduro airlines, he is still platinum mad because Orange man sanctioned them so now no more travels to Disneyland for the communists

And his arrival was a spectacular, the day before Diosdado Cabello aka the big boss of the cartel and second in command was bragging about how Guaido was not going to come back and that he was going to be arrested immediately if he tried

He did not gave two shits because he is blessed by Orange Man and went directly through immigration without any complicated issues (they took his ID and refuse to give it back, he told them "don't worry that one is just a copy"), word in the streets is that every single soldier was scared to death to stop him because they could be sanctioned or harassed the shit out of it like a example im going to explain later

After his arrival one of the security chief of the airport wanted to annoy him and let it pass a hysterical CONVIASA employee that begin to scream at him for no reason (in a secure area) and because Guaido was not paying attention to her decided to throw a bottle of water to him

For this heresy the Venezuelan twitter internet machine went full Kiwi farms on her ass and she was doxed to hell and back, it was discovered that she is in CONVIASA as a simple assistant, for more funsies it was discovered that she actually signed against Chavez went the opposition was trying to remove him, her social networks were hacked and her phone number was discovered and blasted to oblivion with "kill yourself bitch"

So Maduro in sheer spite decided to arrest Guaido uncle that brought him for Portugal, under the charges of bringing weapons in the plane, specifically C4, how he manage to pass shitload of C4 from Portugal authorities is a mystery (im joking), now Portugal is our enemy now too

 

[Exterminatus]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/venezuela-slams-trump-for-sanctions-set-on-regime-change/2020/02/13/62a043ae-4e85-11ea-967b-e074d302c7d4_story.html

It's over guys, Churro Maduro is taking Bad Orange Man and Yankee menace to the International Criminal Court to have Trump sent to prison for putting their nuts in a vice financially.

Here's the thing though, the US is a signatory of the ICC but we've never ratified it through Congress so there's no real authority, plus we're the United States of America, we ain't gotta do shit about any sorts of international law if we don't want to. Not to mention the sanctions against Maduro and his moronic cohorts are perfectly valid and legal given what we know of the situation in Venezuela.

 

[AnOminous]

Here's the thing though, the US is a signatory of the ICC but we've never ratified it through Congress so there's no real authority, plus we're the United States of America, we ain't gotta do shit about any sorts of international law if we don't want to. Not to mention the sanctions against Maduro and his moronic cohorts are perfectly valid and legal given what we know of the situation in Venezuela.

The lack of Senate ratification means we are not a part of the ICC, full stop. We do not recognize its authority and any attempt to prosecute Americans under this regime will, at the very best, be ignored, and at worst treated as an act of hostility. This is doubly so under Trump.

GWB withdrew our signature, along with Israel. So we are NOT a signatory either, at this point.

And our great buddy Sudan did so at the same time. In any event, the Senate has never ratified it. Not even Obama tried because there was zero chance of the Senate ever ratifying this bullshit, because if we ever did, it would just be an endless series of attempts to try Americans for absolute bullshit, same as with Israel.

 

[Super-Chevy454]

https://www.washingtonpost.com/world/europe/venezuela-slams-trump-for-sanctions-set-on-regime-change/2020/02/13/62a043ae-4e85-11ea-967b-e074d302c7d4_story.html

It's over guys, Churro Maduro is taking Bad Orange Man and Yankee menace to the International Criminal Court to have Trump sent to prison for putting their nuts in a vice financially.

I think Maduro will have the Trump curse before that. Maybe Kaepernick should praise Maduro just like he praised Fidel Castro before he died.

Did Sean Penn, Samuel L. Jackson and Michael Moore had deleted all their tweets praising Venezuela?

 

[Cubanodun]

It's over guys, Churro Maduro is taking Bad Orange Man and Yankee menace to the International Criminal Court to have Trump sent to prison for putting their nuts in a vice financially.

He forgot pretty quickly that he is being trialed in the ICC for being a stupid fuck so he can go and cry to to his pimps in Cuba, the sanctions are not going away until he goes away

Did Sean Penn, Samuel L. Jackson and Michael Moore had deleted all their tweets praising Venezuela?

I think i remember Bernie sanders praising Chavez but i could be mistaken

 

[Cubanodun]

This is fucking delicious, we are talking about the guy that refused to mention the D word on tv, refuse to even acknowledge that existed, called it a failed currency, tried for YEARS to control it with scam schemes and dumb bids systems, tried to side lined it with his failed crypto , tried to put all the economic markets in rupees and yuans because he hated the dollar

He was in plan chris "i was wrong but it was not my fault IS THE ORANGE M..." he stopped there lmao

Edit: little update, remember when i talked about Guaido ID was taken by immigration and Diosdado was bragging about some soldier destroyed it and gave it to him so he could brag in his shit TV show? well...

Yep, apparently the soldiers of the airport went to meet Guaido and returned his ID to him the chaviztas are calling for a purge

 

[Cubanodun]

So for two days Maduro decide to realize a operation Bolivarian Shield 2020, is a set of military exercises that mostly consist in turn on dumb AA radars and make exercises with the militia to intimidate Orange man

Of course you have to be a brain dead idiot to actually believe things like this are threatening....at all

The emperor finest, they shall know NO FEAR

In great armour I shall clad them and with the mightiest weapons shall they be armed

The most funny part was the briefing the military exercise goes like this, they are assuming a full scale NORMANDY STYLE invasion of Venezuela, but if you see the maps all the plan is just "lol put meatshields in the way to the airport so Maduro can flee" the rest are just scenarios that if you see them closely are just hopeless maneuvers that pretend that they can survive a long attrition battle again the US Army

Let me tell you in a simple list what this is not going to work

1) Morale is a lowest in the universe in the army, the only reason they have not rebelled is because is more easy to go with the flow and get drug money, people absolutely hate the army and is always the foot soldiers that get the short stick

2) We dont have enough soldiers and equipment for a defensive battle not even a attrition one if you check the map the AA emplacements are in dumb cities like Puerto Cabello or Puerto la cruz, when the most vulnerable point is actually Falcon, heck even the Guaira

If you want to see how well equipped are our GNB they did not even had enough weapons for everyone to train so they have to play with pretend guns and make noises with their mouths

3) We ABSOLUTELY don't have ANY way to defend against drones attacks, this has been explained to Maduro to death but he refuse to listen

The absolutely terrible briefing

But hey at least we got enough cringe material for memes

 

[Mike Stoklasa]

In my wildest dreams the opening portion of the briefing was a dozen different takes of that group coming down the same section of stairs in a subterranean parking garage.

 

[Cubanodun]

In my wildest dreams the opening portion of the briefing was a dozen different takes of that group coming down the same section of stairs in a subterranean parking garage.

According to some jokes they were trying to reenact the opening of The sum of all fears movie but we don't have that budget so parking garage it is

 

[Thiletonomics]

If you want to see how well equipped are our GNB they did not even had enough weapons for everyone to train so they have to play with pretend guns and make noises with their mouths

They borrowed the 4Kids censorship tactic of having the guys in Yu-Gi-Oh use invisible guns? Nice!

 

[Adamska]

If you want to see how well equipped are our GNB they did not even had enough weapons for everyone to train so they have to play with pretend guns and make noises with their mouths

View attachment 1146566

Any reason why they don't at least get sticks so they can at least get a vague idea on how to hold the fucking gun? Last I checked even your poor dead country can pick up sticks and do that.

Even Depression era cash strapped US did that with wooden guns, and the Soviets practiced grenade tossing with potatoes, which can be replaced with rocks given y'all are starving.

 

[Niggernerd]

So for two days Maduro decide to realize a operation Bolivarian Shield 2020, is a set of military exercises that mostly consist in turn on dumb AA radars and make exercises with the militia to intimidate Orange man

Of course you have to be a brain dead idiot to actually believe things like this are threatening....at all

The emperor finest, they shall know NO FEAR

Milicia training’ in Venezuela. - - Venezuela.mp4















In great armour I shall clad them and with the mightiest weapons shall they be armed

Milicias patrolling a service station in Coro with Mosin Nagant. - Venezuela.mp4















































The most funny part was the briefing the military exercise goes like this, they are assuming a full scale NORMANDY STYLE invasion of Venezuela, but if you see the maps all the plan is just "lol put meatshields in the way to the airport so Maduro can flee" the rest are just scenarios that if you see them closely are just hopeless maneuvers that pretend that they can survive a long attrition battle again the US Army

View attachment 1146562

Let me tell you in a simple list what this is not going to work

1) Morale is a lowest in the universe in the army, the only reason they have not rebelled is because is more easy to go with the flow and get drug money, people absolutely hate the army and is always the foot soldiers that get the short stick

2) We dont have enough soldiers and equipment for a defensive battle not even a attrition one if you check the map the AA emplacements are in dumb cities like Puerto Cabello or Puerto la cruz, when the most vulnerable point is actually Falcon, heck even the Guaira

If you want to see how well equipped are our GNB they did not even had enough weapons for everyone to train so they have to play with pretend guns and make noises with their mouths

View attachment 1146566

3) We ABSOLUTELY don't have ANY way to defend against drones attacks, this has been explained to Maduro to death but he refuse to listen

The absolutely terrible briefing

https://youtube.com/watch?v=EjU6xT1YLzc
But hey at least we got enough cringe material for memes

The US military is shook af with this bonafied killing machine of an army. Watch out drumpf, Maduro has a collection of rambo like warriors.

 

[Ghostse]

Any reason why they don't at least get sticks so they can at least get a vague idea on how to hold the fucking gun? Last I checked even your poor dead country can pick up sticks and do that.

Even Depression era cash strapped US did that with wooden guns, and the Soviets practiced grenade tossing with potatoes, which can be replaced with rocks given y'all are starving.

Mild powerlevel:
My company was doing training for "response to ambush" (Basically hit the ground, figure out where the noise was from, return fire) we were supposed to do this with blanks, but within an hour, we were all out of blanks. We inquired what we were supposed to do if were out of blanks, and that there weren't anymore. The range master just sort of shruged and said "Just yell Bang! or Budget Cut" - Budget Cut, said quickly, is actually a fairly decent approximation of the sound of an M-16 firing.

So I want you to picture this:
200 grown-ass men, trained for war.... running around the woods for 4 hours, shouting "Bang Bang Bang" and "BudgetCUT BudgetCut".
The United States Army. None Greater.

So when I say "Holy shit, what a complete cluster fuck of 'training'", I have a clue what I'm talking about.

 

[Cubanodun]

Any reason why they don't at least get sticks so they can at least get a vague idea on how to hold the fucking gun? Last I checked even your poor dead country can pick up sticks and do that.

Even Depression era cash strapped US did that with wooden guns, and the Soviets practiced grenade tossing with potatoes, which can be replaced with rocks given y'all are starving.

Because this is just the banana presidential version of telling yourself "im ok, nothing wrong is happening" , this exercise was planned in a hurry after Guaido meet with Orange man AND the american minister of defense, after that reunion orange man said in the press conference something like "we have a plan in the next 30 days for venezuela" and Maduro took it as "THEY ARE COMING IN 30 DAYS AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA" so everything was rushed and we got 48 hours of cringe