UN Venezuela Megathread - Mercenaries 2 references galore! Cubanodun is MVP

With the news of an attempted army uprising ending in many arrests happening in the troubled nation, I think now is the time to just say 'Post all Venezuela related news here'

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-latin-america-40843494

The civil war is upon us.

 

[RA-5C Vigilante]

The GN is larping again, those are near from where i live , not my pictures i saw them this morning but did not want to take them because they were taking phones by force to prevent "strategy leaks", morons, you can see them from space

Spoiler: Rackets raunchers

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Supposedly those piece of garbage are S-125 Pechora 2M, according to military spergs they are useless against cruise missiles but hey they look nice!

Those are also called SA-3 Goa's.

They were first deployed in 1961.

Weird flex on Maduros part to do a Cuban Missile Crisis flashback but ok

 

[KiwiJoe]

I know I might be late on this but does the current Venezuelan gov't have any allies whatsoever? Whatever happened to 'like minded' Latin countries like Bolivia and Cuba?

 

[RA-5C Vigilante]

I know I might be late on this but does the current Venezuelan gov't have any allies whatsoever? Whatever happened to 'like minded' Latin countries like Bolivia and Cuba?

China and Russia, if you consider allies "Parasitically siphoning off all your resources for little to no return unless youre in the protected upper echelon near Maduro."

And Iran, if that even matters.

 

[Fanatical Pragmatist]

I know I might be late on this but does the current Venezuelan gov't have any allies whatsoever? Whatever happened to 'like minded' Latin countries like Bolivia and Cuba?

Brazil has been flipped.
Argentina has cautiously backed away.
Bolivia is in the midst of some turmoil but it seems like they are about to flip to the right.
Ecuador has cautiously backed away.
Their communist insurgent/drug cartel allies in Colombia aren't a hot force right now.
Guyana is commie but have issues with Venezuela over territorial shit.
Costa Rica and Mexico love them gringo bucks too much to side with Maduro.

This leaves basically Cuba, who are playing bodyguard for Maduro, and Nicaragua, who are sending thoughts and prayers to Maduro while they murder their own people.

Russia & China are playing them.
Iran & Norkland send more thoughts and prayers.

 

[Cubanodun]

I know I might be late on this but does the current Venezuelan gov't have any allies whatsoever? Whatever happened to 'like minded' Latin countries like Bolivia and Cuba?

In the continent? only Nicaragua, Cuba and the dumbasses of the CARICOM, Argentina supposedly were going to support Maduro until orange man glared at them and they decided to use the old tactic of ignoring our calls, Brazil,Colombia and Peru hate us because they don't know what to do with so many migrants, Uruguay flipped recently and told Maduro to fuck off, Bolivia is purging itself of commies right now and dont have the time to deal with us. Chile has their own internal problems but they are against Maduro same as Paraguay, Panamá hates Maduro for that time where he accused them of stopping a Shipment of food and it wa found he was lying, Costa Rica fucked off pretty early and stayed against Maduro, Mexico has a internal policy of being neutral to everything and anything (The Estrada Doctrine), El Salvador kicked the venezuelan spies out of their territory and told Maduro to eat a lemon, Guatemala also kicked the Venezuelan spies when Guaido sworn as interim president

Right forgot about Guyana, most people believe they hate us but in reality they could not give less of a shit, Chavez tried to annex the territory they have of us in one electoral campaign but he forgot pretty quickly about it, Maduro like to remind us that the territory is still ours but refuse to tell that Chavez gave up because he believed it was not worth the investment and he was dying and no one care

Internationally.... only Russia and for god know why Turkey, China doesnt care anymore they have not even come here in a long long time because they are disappointed that they can shank Maduro for the money they are own, apparently Pooh bear stroke a deal with Orange man to get that money back somehow after Maduro is inside a black plastic bag, Turkey i dont know how they are dancing about the sanctions of the EU, just look at that galactic shitfest that is happening in Spain right now, are not those clowns part of the EU?

 

[1Tonka_Truck]

Internationally.... only Russia and for god know why Turkey

I can tell you why Turkey supports Maduro. All of the concentrate from Venezuelan gold mines gets shipped to Turkey to be refined. The Turk that owns foundry has the ear of Erdogan.

 

[Cubanodun]

I can tell you why Turkey supports Maduro. All of the concentrate from Venezuelan gold mines gets shipped to Turkey to be refined. The Turk that owns foundry has the ear of Erdogan.

They must be dissapointed because we barely ship Gold now after CONVIASA was sanctioned so by extension any person that help them in any way is going to be slapped with sanctions too before someone ask, CONVIASA is a public airline owned by the government so yeah they get fucked by orange man

 

[Cubanodun]

Have you ever see something so unfathomably stupid that you need to double check why this is real?

Yeah thats right Maduro in his infinite intellect decided to waste shitload of money in promoting Venezuela in Time Square saying that is open for tourism and investment, the same venezuela that cant see anyone remotely american because they believe its a spy, the same one that stole american assets in the name of the revolution, that Venezuela, i hope the person that got those shekels is laughing his ass right now

 

[Cubanodun]

We are entering SHITCOM-1

Maduro is loyally pissed because in less than 3 days the 2 cases that he confirmed became 8....then 16....then 28 and it continue to spread without any stop, he begged for help to his neighbours countries and they told him to fuck off, he is also pissed for people dont obeying his orders of quarantine he then threaten us that if we dont follow his orders of quarantine we are going to be fucked, he ordered the militia to go out to the streets and enforce the quarantine but at the time to this post not even they want to get infected knowing that people hate them and are not going to listen

He then decide to enforce a more harsh quarantine in 5 states and pretend to extend it to others in the next week, again people did not care and he keep fuming and bitching because of it he is this close of yelling OBEY ME DAMMIT OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY

 

[AnOminous]

He then decide to enforce a more harsh quarantine in 5 states and pretend to extend it to others in the next week, again people did not care and he keep fuming and bitching because of it he is this close of yelling OBEY ME DAMMIT OBEY OBEY OBEY OBEY

What do you threaten people with when they already live in Maduro's Venezuela?

 

[Cubanodun]

What do you threaten people with when they already live in Maduro's Venezuela?

Funny thing that is is possibly the only day that he had actually gave a fuck about the country and now no one believe him, people prefer to get the plague instead of listening to his hysterical rants on TV

Also, please Empanada man you were doing a amazing job destroying this place, dont blame Corona chan for it

Im all for embracing nurgle only to fuck with him

 

[AnOminous]

What do people even do in a country when there's a panic and they can't just descend like a swarm of locusts on supermarkets and buy all the toilet paper like morons, because there already isn't any toilet paper?

 

[La Luz Extinguido]

Im all for embracing nurgle only to fuck with him

Getting syphilis, Ebola and type 1 diabetus to own the libs.

 

[dopy]

Funny thing that is is possibly the only day that he had actually gave a fuck about the country and now no one believe him, people prefer to get the plague instead of listening to his hysterical rants on TV

Also, please Empanada man you were doing a amazing job destroying this place, dont blame Corona chan for it

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Im all for embracing nurgle only to fuck with him

What do people even do in a country when there's a panic and they can't just descend like a swarm of locusts on supermarkets and buy all the toilet paper like morons, because there already isn't any toilet paper?

i guess we're going to find out huh
well regardless of what happens good luck @Cubanodun, keep us posted during the coming shitstorm

 

[Cubanodun]

The bad days for platano man continues, he tried to keep begging to Colombia for help again and again calling for humanitarian aid, forgot totally that the last time aid was coming he burned the trucks, Colombia answers was pretty much a given

Colombia: Oh NOW you want help? fuck off and get plagued you cunt

Heartbroken he decided to call a full lockdown of all the country only after admitting that there are ... 33 cases confirmed the problem with those numbers is that those are the results they HAVE, our health system is so incredibly fucked that the only way to confirm new cases is to send the samples to Caracas because there is only 1 place that have the equipment for testing for the virus in ALL the country, we are probably talking of more than 1000 cases and it keep spreading every day because hospitals cant work for shit and people disregard of the quarantine order, that is what happen when people don't respect you or dont give a shit, they are centralizing all the information to prevent the leak of the actual numbers but is to late for that, the panic is out there and he cant control it

He is really pissed because this is the first problem he face that he cant bribe. arrest or shoot dead

Edit: the arrests have started, if you are out without a mask you are going to funny jail

 

[Adamska]

It's telling that even with his threats and managing to actually get people arrested no one respects the mentally challenged bus driver that is basically a tard running a state.

Also hope you don't catch or spread the Wuhan Flu/Bat Bug/Chinese Virus/Corona-Chan whatever you call it to people you care for dude.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

Oh NOW you want help? fuck off and get plagued you cunt

This should be the new subtitle for this thread.

 

[Cubanodun]

JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA OH GOD MY SIDES I CANT BREATHE

Spoiler: JAJAJAJAJAJA

They are asking for 5000 millions dollars to try to contain the plague, this after years of blaming them of destroying the economy and claiming that they were actually a agency of the USA to trample the economies of the countries this is the equivalent of opening a gofundme to buy food JAJAJAJAJAJAJAJA

[

tl;dr

 

[Grotesque Bushes]

Why would a poster child of socialism want some worthless, dirty capitalist money? From what I've heard all they need to do is give the means of production to the workers and it'll be fine.

 

[Cubanodun]

Why would a poster child of socialism want some worthless, dirty capitalist money? From what I've heard all they need to do is give the means of production to the workers and it'll be fine.

Because he doesn't have JACKSHIT, the fall of the oil prices and the sanctions hitted him like a truck, he is FUCKED and now he has to eat his words, he has called the FMI murderers, sellouts, traitors and blamed them for every single bad thing that has happened to our economy

He like to put them as Super mega nazis with money

And those are only a few of all the times he has shitted on the FMI, him now begging for money to fix the mess he started is incredibly amusing

Edit: we dont give a shit about the feefees of the CCP so #ChineseVirus is now trending on twatter