Lovequest Updated OkCupid profile

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Flux said:
May I ask, do you recall her age and why she possessed interested in Chris?
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This was a few years ago. I don't remember the particulars, but I believe she was in her thirties, not middle-aged or anything. Why she thought to contact him, god only knows. It was around the time that he was chatting up girls on FB in that creepy TMI way that only he can pull off. If I recall correctly, he messaged some underage party girl with hilarious results.
 
stack said:
I always get a kick out of his age requirements. Frankly, it's a jerk move to not consider anyone a day older than you are. I remember a while back some woman on Facebook that seemed interested in Chris. She was probably the only human being that has ever expressed anything approaching real interest, but he ended up turning her down when he found out she was an older, single mother.
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Hey guys, sorry for being off-topic but: http://sonichu.com/cwcki/Facebook_messages#Christy_Backe
This is one of my favorite articles on the Cwcipedia.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
He doesn't actually care what straight women would find appealing....
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Oh that's certain. What I'm interested in hearing is his convoluted justification. That's the part that would be fun. I would have a modicum amount of respect for Chris were he to back handedly dismiss such a question with "I don't actually care what they want it, it's what I want that matters". It's gross but at least it's true.

I just don't envision Chris being that in tune with himself. When asked why he doesn't have a job it's a rickety structure of excuses, but he'd never just say "Because I don't want to and I don't have to because I get money for nothing."

I'm not gonna role play Chris, but it could be something trivial like "I still have a penis" to something deranged like "No woman would be straight after meeting me" or to something unimaginable like "[unimagined]".
 
FWIW, he included the "sexy" photo with the giant economy size box of enemas in his new OkCupid profile. :\
 
I don't know if this has been mentioned yet, but it looks like you need a premium account to change your user name. The fact that Chris is now the LevelUpQueen means he's paying at least $7.95/mo on his love quest.

It should be noted that you don't get much from a premium account; mainly the ability to view profiles invisibly.
 
Pivotal_Moment said:
Well hell, at least he appreciates ALL generations of MLP. I can respect him for at least that much. It's pretty rare.
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Does it have ponies? Yes? Then he'll worship it. He doesn't give a shit if it's well-made or not, he just wants to zone out while ponies are on the screen. For the same reason he has no understanding of why people say Sonic '06 was such a terrible game.
 
Alec Benson Leary said:
Does it have ponies? Yes? Then he'll worship it. He doesn't give a shit if it's well-made or not, he just wants to zone out while ponies are on the screen. For the same reason he has no understanding of why people say Sonic '06 was such a terrible game.
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Also Sonic Boom is not a bad game either. It would be GOTY for Chris if not for those damn blue arms.
 
Count Hoarduon said:
But what happens when he finds out that lesbians are also paired up, or claim to be when Chris-Tran comes wobbling up to them? How long before we start hearing about GIRL-JERKS? (GERKS)?
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I suspect he would still try. Based on what we've seen of his understanding of the LBGT scene, and the fact that everything he knows about sex comes from porn, I wouldn't be at all surprised if he thought every lesbian couple was looking for a third woman for hot lesbian threesomes.
 
stack said:
I always get a kick out of his age requirements. Frankly, it's a jerk move to not consider anyone a day older than you are. I remember a while back some woman on Facebook that seemed interested in Chris. She was probably the only human being that has ever expressed anything approaching real interest, but he ended up turning her down when he found out she was an older, single mother.
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I prefer woman my age or a little older because I find them easier to talk to and to find common ground with. I wonder if he thinks a younger girl will share his enthusiasm for boring crap like His Little Pony?
 
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