Lovequest Updated OkCupid profile

[StupidSexyFlanders]

"Keeping up appearances" might be related to his recent use of British spelling and claims of royal heritage. From what I remember that show was a comedy about an elderly English woman who tries to use her tenuous family links to nobility to pretend she's someone very high class and important. Eventually her lies would stack up and become ridiculous, leading to wacky hijinks.

I also like that after years of failing to attract a regular straight girl, Chris has just narrowed his selection down to "Woman who is willing to have a three-way with a pre-op crossdressing autistic male lesbian who collects Lego and watches childrens cartoons". I'm sure there's plenty of fish that meet that description.

 

[Varis]

... and he also states that he would be interested in meeting married women for friendship.

No. Absolutely not. Chris is a ridiculously jealous individual and unable to have a platonic relationship with a woman.

 

[Assorted Nuts]

Income
—

Ya got that right.

 

[Gene Parmesan]

Not only is the "6 things I couldn't live without" exceedingly childish and creepy (future children)... it's no fewer than 7 things.

Although I know he'll dodge or obfuscate or some mental trickery out of it - I would genuinely enjoy seeing someone press him on the 'I'd be good for a straight woman' statement.

It'd probably be something like 'I am gender fluid', that he's a man or a woman depending on which ever will get him laid, but I'm hoping for something some justification how he would qualify as a traditional 'man' that a straight woman would find appealing.

 

[jemas42]

Suggestion for new word filter.

He's really been hitting the "empathy" thing hard recently. He mentions it here, he (over-)explained it to Catie in the breakup emails, and Robbie talked about it in the comic commission. Has he always been this fixated on it and I just missed it? Or did somebody sit him down and explain it to him?

Or he could have just read it on one of his fact-finding missions to Wikipedia.

Amazing.

I don't know how new it is. I remember he used to use empathy a lot in his writings. Off the top of my head, I recall him mentioning empathizing with someone in his wikipedia profile, and using it as a random fact about himself on that Tomboys and Tomgirls forum he joined a while back.

 

[Loke]

Y'know I get that Lego is a big part of his life, but for fuck's sake, don't put it in your OKCupid profile. I do some pretty nerdy shit too, but I'd kinda ease my potential romantic partners into that.

A few points other that stand out to me, in order:

Body Type: Average

He says he likes the Beatles...has he ever mentioned them before is he just pulling a "I like Louis Armstrong" thing again. He mentions liking Yellow Submarine, but that's an odd choice to mention. Or am I overthinking it?

Also Keeping Up Appearances stands out in his TV shows. Where the hell would he have been exposed to that? Is it on Netflix?

Knowing Chris, he watched the awful Yellow Submarine animation, which makes him an expert on the Beatles. Also, you beat me to loling at him putting his body type at average. Hope he doesn't have any pictures!

 

[Uzumaki]

"Keeping up appearances" might be related to his recent use of British spelling and claims of royal heritage. From what I remember that show was a comedy about an elderly English woman who tries to use her tenuous family links to nobility to pretend she's someone very high class and important. Eventually her lies would stack up and become ridiculous, leading to wacky hijinks.

Sort of, only she doesn't use tenuous links to royalty she just tries to portray herself as high class and is very self conscious about how she and her family appear to others. Insisting her last name is pronounced "Bouquet" instead of "Bucket" for example.

 

[Count Olaf]

"I would work best for any woman, her being straight, Bi or Lesbian."

This entire thing is just wow. This quote just kinda pisses me off. Chris claims to be a lesbian soul who hates men. Does Chris not get that straight women like men and not other women? I feel like this just shows that this "lesbian tranny" thing is nothing more than another way to find a potential vessel for his promised Crystal. I have a lot of issues with my own sexuality, but Chris here is just exploiting it for his own personal gain just like he is with his "sensory-overloading" so it pains me to see someone who has no issues exploit it for china. Chris needs to make up his mind and stick with it instead of whatever works in his favor. That'll never happen though.

Of course it is. That's what it's ALWAYS been for him, the on going quest for china. Remember for the majority of his life he claimed he was strait and bore a deep hatred for homosexuality. He tried to convince women he was manly and tough thinking that would attract women to him, and he failed completely. So he thought if strait women dont want me, maybe lesbian women will. So now we're here in the. . .Lesbian Transgender Saga? I don't know what to call it.

Anyway, obviously he's failing epicly as usual with this latest phase. I really wouldn't put it past him to switch back to identifying as a male and hating on homosexuality again.

 

[Silver]

Knowing Chris, he watched the awful Yellow Submarine animation, which makes him an expert on the Beatles. Also, you beat me to loling at him putting his body type at average. Hope he doesn't have any pictures!

Did you just call the Yellow Submarine movie "awful"

U wanna go bruh

 

[Mogambo]

"Keeping Up Appearances" is on local PBS stations constantly.

Thank God Bear he hasn't found classic episodes of Doctor Who or Black Adder that way. I mean, they'd go completely over his head, but still...

Clearly, Chris is taking fashion tips from Hyacinth Bucket!

And he sort of resembles Onslow

Actually, I suspect Chris would be more drawn to Rose because she's portrayed as promiscuous and Chris has low standards. Makes me wonder how much media Chris consumes solely because hethinks someone in it is "hot." After all, we know that's pretty much the only reason he still fixates on Britney Spears

Some people are just really optimistic and think that if they hold out, they'll eventually find that one person who is really into everything that they are, no matter how obscure or abnormal. There's nothing wrong with obscure/abnormal interests, but you gotta' ease people into that shit. If you play it right, your love of Chinese pop might even endear you to someone in a quirky, "well I've certainly never met anyone like that." sort of way, but the line between "different" and "weird" is a fine line to walk sometimes.

Which is part of the reason online dating sucks for people like me. I don't give a shit about mainstream pop music, reality TV, Oprah's shitty book of the week or most sports, and putting "foreign" movies or music pretty much deters women, as does speaking Gujarati apparently.

 

[Kosher Dill]

"I would work best for any woman, her being straight, Bi or Lesbian."

Did he become a male lesbian solely for the reason of having access to more potential heartsweets or something? Because saying he's wanting straight women but calling himself a lesbian...

His gender identity is "I Win Always".

 

[Objection!]

For anyone who didn't get his little joke in his profile, "Zodiac Sign: Pisces...And it's fun to think about."

Here's one form of the Pisces symbol:

Yes, there are other nicer iterations, often fish that look like they're swimming in a circle or a symbol that looks not unlike a capital H, but this is what he's referring to.

It wouldn't be funny or flirty if anyone else said it and it's just gross when Chris says it. Apparently this is a-logging.

Edit: What's with all the negativity? It's a stupid pick up line and that's one of the Pisces zodiac symbols, go google it.

 

[Pickle Inspector]

Some people are just really optimistic and think that if they hold out, they'll eventually find that one person who is really into everything that they are, no matter how obscure or abnormal. There's nothing wrong with obscure/abnormal interests, but you gotta' ease people into that shit. If you play it right, your love of Chinese pop might even endear you to someone in a quirky, "well I've certainly never met anyone like that." sort of way, but the line between "different" and "weird" is a fine line to walk sometimes.

I'd say that MLP is definitely a 4th or 5th-gear conversation.

I think it's just Chris's lack of self awareness, if he was more self aware I'm guessing he'd be the other extreme where he just writes what he thinks woman want to hear.

 

[JustSomeFella]

For anyone who didn't get his little joke in his profile, "Zodiac Sign: Pisces...And it's fun to think about."

Here's one form of the Pisces symbol:

View attachment 11280

Yes, there are other nicer iterations, often fish that look like they're swimming in a circle or a symbol that looks not unlike a capital H, but this is what he's referring to.

It wouldn't be funny or flirty if anyone else said it and it's just gross when Chris says it.

You guys, OKCupid has a list of options to pick out when you choose your sign and this is one of them. Chris didn't come up with it.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

I'm hoping for something some justification how he would qualify as a traditional 'man' that a straight woman would find appealing.

He doesn't actually care what straight women would find appealing. He expects them to do what he wants. Just like with Catie - he didn't give a shit that she clearly stated they weren't in a relationship, Chris just assumed they were getting married and decided she had wronged him by not going along with it. Well, same thing with womens' orientations. Doesn't matter if they don't want whatever Chris is, he'll assume they do and get mad at them if they manage to convince him they're not into it.

 

[blackie toy]

"Keeping up appearances" might be related to his recent use of British spelling and claims of royal heritage.

A couple days ago I would have agreed with this, that it was just something he picked up from TV. Then we got Catie's narrative of the date, which used several British English phrases (though oddly a couple American English spellings); it makes me think Chris might have picked it up from Catie.

 

[trip2themoon]

For anyone who didn't get his little joke in his profile, "Zodiac Sign: Pisces...And it's fun to think about."

Here's one form of the Pisces symbol:

View attachment 11280

Yes, there are other nicer iterations, often fish that look like they're swimming in a circle or a symbol that looks not unlike a capital H, but this is what he's referring to.

It wouldn't be funny or flirty if anyone else said it and it's just gross when Chris says it.

That's Cancer, my sign.

 

[Marvin]

Perhaps Marvin or Thetan could offer their insight, but I wonder if Chris would throw away all the tomgirl/male lesbian stuff if a sweetheart asked him to. It seems that he goes back and forth between letting himself be a doormat and deciding his sweetheart's feelings.

Chris is willing to take advantage of his male body if he can use it to impress a girl, though he usually does his best to stick to the tomgirl shit.

 

[Skeletor]

Also Keeping Up Appearances stands out in his TV shows. Where the hell would he have been exposed to that? Is it on Netflix?

Keeping Up Appearances and other old British comedies are on public broadcasting all the time in the US. Barb probably watches them from time to time and Chris watches them with her. It certainly seems way too droll and old-fashioned to be something he would pick to watch. I would guess the Chandlers are conversant with shows like Are You Being Served, Fawlty Towers, etc. He's referenced Monty Python a few times.

 

[Eponine]

'Piddling' with lego? I can come up with several handfuls of words that are better than this. I mean, it's almost like he pulled this out of the bottom of the thesaurus barrel or something, lol