Interests Twitter 1/30 - Chris's D&D sheet

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If chris insisted that his character was some unnatural color I'd at least give him a penalty to stealth.

"Okay chris, the bandit you were hiding from wonders why you're trying so hard to hide because he can plainly see your bright blue ears and your rainbow headband."

Radical Goodspeed said:
Monster class only, save the sonichu as minor bosses or something. Sonichu would be a good villain for a mid level campaign, and I bet a generic Sonichu template could be toned down a tiny bit to make for the most annoying low-level boss in history. It would be really frustrating though, because until you kill one, they'd just keep Mary Sue-ing an unsatisfying resolution where they escape. Just RP'ing any monster as Chris might is a good way to get a table to hate them, I imagine.

But fuck homebrewing them into a PC class. There's books of copy-pasta on what you do with someone who'd unironically play that.
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It's be easy as a monster. It'd be a small creature, give it a speed of 50, a 2d6 lightning attack with a range of 20 feet it can do 4 times a day, and a 2d6 slam attack. there. easy. give it a modest HP of 40 and AC of 14 and its usable.
 
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Chris attempts to justify his broken movement speed.
 
TheOnlyYamchaFan said:
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Chris attempts to justify his broken movement speed.
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That may as well be a soft ban from any table game a shop that hadn't banned him. You just can hear the table groaning, and someone calling for a smoke break after that line of shit.

Chris's worldbuilding for himself is one thing, and there's nothing inherently wrong about it, but no normal DM/table is going to go along with the level of railroading that tweet implies Chris might pull, and the tantrum that would follow.
 
Radical Goodspeed said:
Monster class only, save the sonichu as minor bosses or something. Sonichu would be a good villain for a mid level campaign, and I bet a generic Sonichu template could be toned down a tiny bit to make for the most annoying low-level boss in history. It would be really frustrating though, because until you kill one, they'd just keep Mary Sue-ing an unsatisfying resolution where they escape. Just RP'ing any monster as Chris might is a good way to get a table to hate them, I imagine.

But fuck homebrewing them into a PC class. There's books of copy-pasta on what you do with someone who'd unironically play that.
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DM me with some stats I suck balls at homebrewing creatures.
 
TheOnlyYamchaFan said:
Oh you know chris will try to backseat DM. And when chris finds out D&D isn't the 'chris chan story hour' he'll take his ball and go home. he'll never accept being on a level playing field with others.
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The longer this thread goes on the more I want see Chris attempt to learn D&D with a bunch of regular gamers who won‘t put up with his nonsense.
 
Getting kicked out of pokemon leagues is one thing, D&D attracts a completely different breed of weirdos.

Nobody can sperg out over character bullshit like a dungeons and dragons group.

First off, Chris has the speed of sound incorrect on his movement rate. Sound travels 1125.33 feet per second, so to break the speed of sound with your movement alone you would have to have a speed of 6755 since rounds are 6 seconds (rounding up because squares). Sonichu could do it by spending his action to move again though but he can't do anything else because he's not a fucking rogue.

I know this because when I'd play pathfinder, breaking the sound barrier was my white whale because I wanted to fuck with my DM by huckstering everyone into a grand race and winning it in like half a minute. I don't remember the exacts but it involved a ranger archetype called Hippogriff Rider which got a mediocre mount with a really good fly speed, then somehow giving it cheetah sprint, which let it boost it's movement x10 for a round, and then it was just augmenting it's base speed with the run feat (which let you take the run action for x5 movement). I got it up to something just over 5000 feet, in theory, but it wouldn't have let me ask about a sonic boom, which was the fuckery I wanted to pull.

Who knows, maybe if he finds a nice enough group they'll mellow out and totally won't be meticulous and weird about the rules.
 
Mr. Manchester said:
Getting kicked out of pokemon leagues is one thing, D&D attracts a completely different breed of weirdos.

Nobody can sperg out over character bullshit like a dungeons and dragons group.


Who knows, maybe if he finds a nice enough group they'll mellow out and totally won't be meticulous and weird about the rules.
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If someone tried to play D&D with Chris it would either devolve into Hyperdimensional Merge ERP bullshit or Chris whining the moment he rolls a 7 and fails even the most inconsequential shit.
 
Dr W said:
If someone tried to play D&D with Chris it would either devolve into Hyperdimensional Merge ERP bullshit or Chris whining the moment he rolls a 7 and fails even the most inconsequential shit.
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Chris would whine and wail so fucking hard whenever he fails a roll. In my experience spergs who play D&D (especially snowflakes like chris in their first game ever) tend to want the experience to be perfect. If they roll low they will beg and whine and plead to re-roll a saving throw.

I would let chris play his character as is, but... the moment he tries to bitch and take over the game he'd find out how brutal I can be. A personal favorite tactic of mine to instill a sense of mortality in the game is to keep a paper shredder in the middle of the room. Your character dies? Can't pay the fee to rez them or the party simply elects not to? Your character sheet gets shredded. I'm no idiot, I know a dozen monsters and traps that can take chris down.

Hell, a few ghouls in a cramped room, despite being low level monsters can BUTCHER a character of any level.
 
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