Too fat for jail

Its an old video but its still funny to me
TL;DR of the story is he was caught dealing prescription drugs. Slapped with a felony. Judge didnt think he could run away very far (550lb man normally cant) so allowed him to stay out of jail per-se with house arrest. Later wants to travel back to ohio as if he is a free man and had rights. Gets told no because hes technically supposed to be in jail.

I guess if you can be beautiful at any size you can also commit crime at any size.

 

[Kiwi & Cow]

That one is top kek.

 

[The Great Chandler]

No fair! This is fatshaming! He's supposed to go to jail like every other human bean!

 

[AnOminous]

If he's too fat to go to jail he's too fat to travel.

 

[Fleshy Sanik]

Have compassion. He was only dealing because he was starving and could not afford food.

 

[MrLobe]

He'd do pretty well in prison, I bet. No shiv is long enough to reach any vital organ, and no dick is long enough to reach his asshole.

 

[Banh Xeo]

He'd do pretty well in prison, I bet. No shiv is long enough to reach any vital organ, and no dick is long enough to reach his asshole.

I’d reach it.

 

[:thinking:]

He'd do pretty well in prison, I bet. No shiv is long enough to reach any vital organ, and no dick is long enough to reach his asshole.

Dem blowjobs tho. He would slobber on dicks with gusto and pretend the cum was Alfredo sauce.

 

[RG 448]

and no dick is long enough to reach his asshole.

You say this like butter and technique aren’t things.

 

[Munchingonfish]

He's 70 years old. How is he still alive?

 

[Dysnomia]

His family should come to him. Traveling while that fat is dangerous if My 600 lb Life is any indication. House arrest was inevitable regardless when you are that size. It's just a difference of whether or not it's entirely imposed on you by yourself.

 

[Mason Verger]

If they don't let him travel, how is he supposed to have Luke and Han thrown in the sarlacc pit?

 

[AnOminous]

Dem blowjobs tho. He would slobber on dicks with gusto and pretend the cum was Alfredo sauce.

Anything going into that mouth is not coming out again.

 

[Salt Water Taffy]

Judge didnt think he could run away very far (550lb man normally cant)

But what if he got a bunch of his friends to roll him all the way to Cincinnati? Or I'm sure if he rolled himself down a giant hill in the direction of Cincinnati he could build up enough momentum to blast through anything in his path.

 

[AnOminous]

But what if he got a bunch of his friends to roll him all the way to Cincinnati? Or I'm sure if he rolled himself down a giant hill in the direction of Cincinnati he could build up enough momentum to blast through anything in his path.

He would keep accumulating objects in his fat folds until he turned into an enormous city-destroying katamari.

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

On the plus side, at least a jailer doesn't have to deal with having this fatass as a cellmate.

 

[polonium]

As if he could be satisfied with prison food

 

[ForgedBlades]

He's 70 years old. How is he still alive?

I had a 400 lb. great-aunt who lived to 82.

 

[Lunete]

They probably couldn't fit him in the cell anyway.

 

[TheClorax]

This made me laugh hysterically.

Spoiler: Slight Powerlevel

In the middle of class.