TheReportOfTheWeek / Reviewbrah - fancy lad fast food reviewer

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Does anyone know why fast-food fries are as the brah described? Hard, not chewy, dry, and unpleasant? I'm guessing they fucked with the oil again.

I rarely order fries now because they cost what the sandwiches should cost, but I get the occasional craving for curly fries, and they've been absolute dog shit under biden.

I used to work fast food (not McDs, but we sold the same fries as McDs, they even came in boxes with McDs labels on). Fries were supposed to be thrown out after ~15mins (I think). To keep the waste amounts down some people used to dip them back into the frier for a few moments to reheat them. They would come out tasting sort of like that mentioned.
 
The grease, slop, and filth.
So much sketchy shit happens behind closed doors and the employees aren’t payed or trained well enough to care.
I remember a time when a friend was given 4 month expired chocolate milk. The entire box of chocolate milk was expired and gelatinous.
No one cares to scrape mold or grease off of walls or metal trays.
 
Even when they were better, Arby’s had and has some of the worst quality control between restaurants I’ve ever seen. I’ve been to one that had legitimately delicious rotisserie chicken from an actual rotisserie behind the counter… and I’ve been to one that had lukewarm at best meat that shooed me off from ever returning. Some specific restaurants can be good, but the chain as a whole… it has some fucking dogshit locations.
 
avoid restaurants staffed by jeets or sikh.

I'll never understand the "No you guys, sikhs are charitable and good" bullshit. They're cheap fucks just like the jeets.
If the meat is expired it gives them a happy.
Worst food poisoning I ever had in my life was from a jeet subway sandwich. (Meatball sub)
If I walk in and the fucker behind the counter has natural panda eyes I walk the fuck out.
 
This reminds me of a few experiences I've had with fast food slop. We have a Sonic that is barely edible at the best of times. This was long before the 2020's fast food decline so I fear what it looks like now, since I quit fried food a while back. I ate there with somebody and my onion rings were completely black, burnt. The person I was with apparently regularly blackmails the manager over how terrible the food is and sent a photo to them, and got bribed with a hand full of printed coupons for free drinks in the largest size they have. I didn't get to eat that day, but I got a bunch of free drinks out of it. Protip: you don't have to fill out any info-stealing survey, just write down 9 or 10 random numbers, they don't ever check that shit lmao. That's what I was told to do and it works.

I also ordered a corndog once from there and when you ripped into it the inside was completely raw and the batter dripped from the hotdog. I fear for what it's like now, since fast food everywhere has sharply declined in quality since these incidents.

Another incident: someone I was riding with wanted Burger King and at the window was a dirty, strung out heroin addict that was so high she couldn't comprehend where she was at and we sat there for well over 20 minutes while she nodded waiting for her to get the food. Barely could speak.

Eventually finally was able to comprehend she was working and got our food. Returned again days later and she is having a nuclear meltdown, screeching at the top of her lungs slamming shit and ended up quitting. Yeah, somehow they would not fire her. She cried in the parking lot and no other worker would wait on us after that so we had to leave. She was freaking out so bad I'm shocked the cops were not called. Insane shit. I am so glad I do not eat out anymore. Fast food is fucking disgusting and usually the people working there are too.

Speaking of Burger King, wasn't that the place that served Charlie "kids can consent to cutting their dicks off" MoistShitikal raw chicken? And he somehow did not notice and ate that thing and days later he got emailed by some regional higher up fearing a PR nightmare was about to happen and apologized profusely. If they never emailed him he never would have looked back on the footage and realized his braindead ass ate raw chicken. That shit was so funny to witness. How do you eat raw chicken and not know, lmao
 
I have privately worried about him being cancelled for racism.

He never focuses blame onto the disadvantaged/disenfranchised employees who are likely to be the ones haphazardly throwing the shit together. He keeps a sharp focus on the corporate/company side of things, which is very smart. "Arby's" is bad. Not the workers. But I could see a certain kind of person connecting some dots and reaching for the pitchforks and the torches.
 
I've actually had pretty good luck with Arby's, but I wonder if the ones in the middle of beef country are higher quality.
Even for franchises, the store makes a difference. I lived in a small city when Dominos did their re-brand, tried it, and it was legit good for chain pizza and it became our go-to for game night pizza above even a few local places (before we started to replace Pizza with other things)

I move to a different city, hadn't had Dominos in a while, order one up one with not super high expectations and its garbage. I figured "well, its been long enough, promotion QC has clearly just fallen off". I go to visit some friends back in the small city, they order some Dominos, and its still five-star quality.


you could have michelin star chefs in those kitchens, if the ingredients they get is shit and rotten to begin with you cant make anything from it.
Staff quality matters though. I had a relative who was on Red Lobster's "opener team" back in the day. He was good enough his manager recommended him to corporate, they sent a scout, and he was offered a position making nearly 10 times what he was making as a normal line cook traveling around the country to open Red Lobsters.
They had a full restaurant staff, at every position, even the fucking toilet moppers, and each one was the best the chain could find. They would send them out when a new restaurant was opened to make sure the first couple of weeks everything was flawless. They would train up the local crew and slowly step back, my relative was in charge of training cooks so he first in, last out. They'd also send them (usually not the toilet moppers, mostly kitchen crew) to restaurants that were "underperforming" to try to unfuck them.

And he told me something to the effect that the only way he'd ever eat any national chain was if it was within two weeks of the place opening because the openers would still be there.
 
https://youtube.com/watch?v=5bQAO76HvHoHe outright refused to eat a burbon bbq chicken sandwich from arbys, suspecting it would give him food poisoning. Apparently it had a really strange smell to it

this is like the third video i've ever seen of this guy
i mean he's not wrong. arby's is hot garbage
but what's the deal with the shaky hands? he was shaking like a leaf holding up the sandwich
is he always like that or is it anxiety about taking arby's to task?
 
How bad is Arby's?
As with any fast food place, it depends on location. And at least in my area, I’ve only ever seen them crammed between other, generally better fast food places. Driving coast to coast, the only stand-alone fast food places I’d usually see were Hardee’s. I don’t think Arby’s even participated in the Chicken Sandwich Wars of 2019 until now, like the Internet Explorer of fast food places.
We have a Sonic that is barely edible at the best of times.
I have a vivid memory of being a kid and stopping at Sonic on a long road trip. Three people in our group got hotdogs, and every single one was pure black, cold, and shrunken like a fucking raisin.
Their recent Oreo cheesecake sundae was pretty good, but you can’t really go wrong with vanilla ice cream with Oreos and a scoop of straight up cheesecake on it.
what's the deal with the shaky hands?
Maybe he’s just really hungry.
 
I have privately worried about him being cancelled for racism.

He never focuses blame onto the disadvantaged/disenfranchised employees who are likely to be the ones haphazardly throwing the shit together. He keeps a sharp focus on the corporate/company side of things, which is very smart. "Arby's" is bad. Not the workers. But I could see a certain kind of person connecting some dots and reaching for the pitchforks and the torches.
Have you seen his Waffle House video?
 
but what's the deal with the shaky hands? he was shaking like a leaf holding up the sandwich
Brah eats like just one meal a day, chugs coffee like it's water and has severe anxiety from social interaction and probably other things as well. It's not surprising he shakes like a chihuahua at times.
Not mocking him. I'm kind of in the same boat, though nowhere near as bad as him. Having to work a normal job keeps me from getting too in my head and eccentric. I kind of worry about his long term health, though.
 
When I found out this guy is living in Florida and not actually New England my mind was shattered.
I don't understand alot of the hate about the accent, he clearly enjoys speaking that way and knows people expect him to lean into it. The novelty of a zoomer speaking and looking like a guy out of 1920's Massachusetts and reviewing fast food is what I imagine is the appeal to most viewers
What? I lived in New England for much of my life and never heard anyone with an accent like this.
 
1st. Good on Review Brah, we must protect this man at all costs.
2nd. I must concur with the “depends on location/staff” crowd.
To use Subway as an example. There is a street in my city where I shit you not there is a Subway at one end, and a Subway at the other. The one at the “top” of the street is staffed entirely by Pajeets and one black chick. The one at the the “bottom” of the street is staffed by white girls and old white women.
I have exclusively gone to the “top” location for the last 3 years. Yes, the Pajeet one. Yes, seriously. The last time I was at the “bottom” one the shit service and lack of care put in made me swear off that location for the rest of my life.
Conversely there’s a chicken place right beside the “top” Subway staffed by Pajeets who have managed to fuck up my order 3 times in a row and have also lost my business. So I guess all the competent Pajeets ended up at the Subway.
 
Why has fast food quality been going down recently? How hard is it to make a burger? I thought they had robots making them
Competency Crisis.
Just in Time Supply Chains.
Inflation making profit margins even thinner.

Edit : Also it's Arby's, My girl loved Arby's for some reason but every time we went there to make her happy it was fucking vile.
 
avoid restaurants staffed by jeets or sikh.

I'll never understand the "No you guys, sikhs are charitable and good" bullshit. They're cheap fucks just like the jeets.
If the meat is expired it gives them a happy.
Worst food poisoning I ever had in my life was from a jeet subway sandwich. (Meatball sub)
If I walk in and the fucker behind the counter has natural panda eyes I walk the fuck out.
Hello

What is a jeet or a sikh?
 
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