The Sunset Arc 🌅 - Is the Gunt nearing his end? Ralph’s divorce, Xanax abuse, double the liquor, and a mind fading away

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IDK. Twilight or the darkest moment before dawn, Will Ethan Ralph find the blessed words of the prophet Muhammad and live as a man should or will he join Scientology? I have $5 that he'll take a swing at being a Black Israelite.
 
Typically I would rate this optimistic but with Ralph's Xanax and alcohol abuse mixed with obesity on top of losing his horse and daughter, and with the multiplier of being in Mexico with little to no money, I say there is a better than 50/50 chance the gunt is put out to pasture before the new year.
 
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I think it's a little too early to predict the end of Ralph. His paypigs are still hucking money at him and he's not even 40 despite looking like he's in his 60s. He might keel over this year though and if he does I think the board just needs to be changed into 'The Sektur' which will inevitably slow down into nothingness. At that point it should probably be enshrined somewhere, but I can't say where.

All I know is that if Ralph kicks the bucket I demand a grand Ralph funeral. I'll take a day off of work for it. I want to see every alog ever give their final words and remember the good times, like today.
 
Mr. Manchester said:
I think it's a little too early to predict the end of Ralph. His paypigs are still hucking money at him and he's not even 40 despite looking like he's in his 60s. He might keel over this year though and if he does I think the board just needs to be changed into 'The Sektur' which will inevitably slow down into nothingness. At that point it should probably be enshrined somewhere, but I can't say where.
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I think even the paypigs are getting either sick of his antics or have enough humanity to be freaked out at him being xannied out of his mind on stream and don't want to contribute to his drug habit. Either way, it's seeming like less and less is coming in via superchats and donos, and there's enough circumstantial evidence to suggest that Ralph is quickly burning through whatever money he had saved away (this might even be the reason Meigh left him).
Mr. Manchester said:
All I know is that if Ralph kicks the bucket I demand a grand Ralph funeral. I'll take a day off of work for it. I want to see every alog ever give their final words and remember the good times, like today.
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I was gonna suggest holding a big wake at Pancho's but that's permanently closed.
 
Triggerni66er said:
What happens to the Sektur he passes? Will the insects feed on him like the carcass of a whale so that new life can bloom? Or maybe Ralphs death will be a capstone, this forum made inactive and accessible only in an archival state?
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This was all part of the prophecy. Ralph is the sacrifice being offered up to the corn. After his death the Sektur's wounds will be mended and all corners can come back together to create a new era of infighting and sperging out.

話說天下大勢．分久必合，合久必分
"The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been"
 
Triggerni66er said:
What happens to the Sektur he passes? Will the insects feed on him like the carcass of a whale so that new life can bloom? Or maybe Ralphs death will be a capstone, this forum made inactive and accessible only in an archival state?
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I hope he is buried in the US so aylawgs can plant corn on the gravesite and leave bottles of Makers Mark as tribute.
 
Famke said:
This was all part of the prophecy. Ralph is the sacrifice being offered up to the corn. After his death the Sektur's wounds will be mended and all corners can come back together to create a new era of infighting and sperging out.

話說天下大勢．分久必合，合久必分
"The empire, long divided, must unite; long united, must divide. Thus it has ever been"
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Godwinson said on his caller’s stream yesterday that Ralph has pretty much infected the Sektur with all the attention on him. I do agree with his assessment

Ralph will keel over at the earliest this year or likely next year. I’ve never seen so many Pillstreams of Ralph till recently. That is adding on top of his cocaine and alcohol addictions, not to mention his shitty lifestyle and poor diet
 
I think it's scary how quick all is starting to fall apart to him, his life is getting destroyed at a fast pace. But, I feel bad for him? Nah.
 
Paladin Derich said:
I can see ralph's grave getting defaced every other day for a few weeks (graffiti, dried urine, feces, smashed bottles, etc). It'd be better to cremate him and spread the ashes somewhere.
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He legitimately should donate his body to science. It'd be a wealth of knowledge to the scientists/med students, and he could create content even in death if that bald guy on the youtube cadaver channel gets his liver on hand to fondle to a massive audience.
(Also yes, there's a youtube channel where guys handle cadavers and tell you things like what's really happening when something goes down the wrong pipe or what opiate addiction does to your brain)
 
Ralph will die alone, on stream, slumped over in his chair, his final words an incoherent slurry of vowels and consonants. His body will remain there, on public display, while the chat mocks him and takes bets on the moment when gravity sends him on a short, off-kilter plunge into the carpet of bottles and detritus around his feet. Eventually, either the power will go out, or someone will be sent to perform a belated wellness check.

No one will mourn him sincerely.

In the long-term, it is likely that no-one will miss him.

If his children remember him, then it will not be fondly. If the grow up even remotely healthy and well-adjusted, and are exposed to his content, they will likely be horrified that this man was their father. Hopefully both will have better male role-models in their lives, who can make up for the colossal failure of their biological parent.

Discounting the crater they dig for his body, or the mini-nuclear winter that will ensue wherever his ashes are scattered, any lasting impact he makes on the world will be as fodder for YouTube content, or as cruel memes at his expense. He will be laughed at, and regarded as a grotesque freak who shit himself live on air.

This is a fitting end for the gunt.

He earned it.
 
Abusing xannies ups your risk of dementia significantly. Pour one out for the future memory care workers who will take care of him when he's older. If they don't force the daughters to do it.
Weeb Slinger said:
Discounting the crater they dig for his body, or the mini-nuclear winter that will ensue wherever his ashes are scattered, any lasting impact he makes on the world will be as fodder for YouTube content, or as cruel memes at his expense.
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That reminds me of lowtax.
 
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