After watching two true and honest gay men sharing an impassioned snog at a bar, a pre-transition TiF can't stop crying over how much she longs to be as queer as these folk. "I'd kill to be able to experience their life," she writes; I always find this sentiment to be richly privileged (if you'll forgive the wokeism) if just because Russian fujo do not seem to be lining up to be tossed off of rooftops.
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(I’m sorry if I can’t post here I just really need to vent)
Seeing gay people irl deepened my dysphoria
My bf and I went to a bar in Los Angeles recently.
It was my first time being in a bar in a diverse area, and there I saw a gay couple making out for the first time irl.
Now I’m back at my home, alone and can’t stop crying. I feel so insanely jealous of them, being gay, being themselves, happy and confident... That’s everything I ever wanted. I’d kill to be able to experience their life.
This shit is living rent free in my head now. I am experiencing dysphoria like I never had before. I can’t even come out or transition yet.
My bf understands, but I’m afraid he sees me as a woman.
I wish I could love my bf as the way I want to. I wish I was a boy.
Silver-tongued sapphics: a li'l dood is frustrated because every time she courts a fellow biological female, they always know how to talk the talk until the pants make their drop, and suddenly she's being seen as a "hyper-butch." I don't even know how one would be treated as a "hyper-butch" during sex - what, do they make you fix their sinks or something?
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I’m a passing (but pre-surgery) straight trans man. I’m looking for love on dating apps.
I like sT4T best, but there’s a limited pool, so I’m opening myself up to cis women.
Is there a good way to ensure she doesn’t see me as a hyper-butch? It’s fairly easy to tell during sex, but I’d rather know before then.
It frustrates me how cis women and non-transitioning nonbinary people seem to have figured out the right words, only to touch me like a woman and express their disdain for cis men. Any advice is greatly appreciated.
Sexual dimorphism makes this FTM feel downright depressed as even her shlubby, out-of-shape male friends are capable of clowning on her when it comes to feats of strength and physicality. Now with the knowledge that every man is a Bruce Lee compared to her obvious Mulan, she worries that things "aren't going to get better" no matter how hard she works out. Alas, Mother Nature is so cruel...
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I've hung out with cis men before obviously, but now I'm later in my transition and feel like a pass. I don't have many friends irl, and no cis men, but
recently I've met up with some online friends and it sucks.
It's a lot of fun, don't get me wrong, but
I feel like I can't stop mentally checking the differences. I've been measured at the doctor at 5'9 but now I'm questioning that because I've been told multiple times now that I look shorter than that.
And at one point my hand size was compared to one of my cis friends and oh my god, I have never once been insecure over my hands, but theres such an insanely obvious difference. His hands were double my size at a similar weight and height, and they just look more masculine.
They're all physically stronger than me as well, I feel like I'm going crazy,
I've always been told by friends and family that I'm strong, but while rough housing they can just throw me around. I weigh 190! One of them doesn't even work out at all, he's said it, yet when he flexed next to me his bicep was double my size. I work out 3 times a week, though I'm hoping thats just loss from top surgery recovery.
I know I pass, I get gendered correctly by every stranger, but being so up close and intimate with cis men for the first time in awhile is making me question everything. I feel like the second you even get a vague hint Im trans you can see every obvious thing that points out I'm not cis. I've never felt like a "fake man" before, even pre T I always just viewed myself as male. But now
its just making me realize how different I am in every way compared to them.
Did you guys feel like this got better further on T?
I'm worried now I'm just going to be consistently weaker and look physically different for the rest of my life. Its making me feel like things aren't going to get better.
A lesbian-to-FTM is having relationship problems because her lesbian-still-lesbian girlfriend has acknowledged her desire to be retarded but has not yet affirmed her retardation in a way that OP likes. To make matters more upsetting, her girlfriend's supposedly traditional family still sees her as female, and her girlfriend
didn't even stand up for her! Woe, what ignominy it is to be a lass who longs to be a lad!
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I’m currently at my girlfriend’s house. Her family is pretty traditional, and tomorrow they have a donation ceremony, so we were helping clean the living room. Her aunt said something like, “girls should know how to clean,” and included me in that.
It made me really uncomfortable. Not because of the cleaning itself, but
because I felt grouped as a “girl.” It triggered something in me and I suddenly felt very aware of how I’m being perceived in that house. I don’t want to cause drama in someone else’s house, but it did affect me more than I expected.
For context, I’ve come out as trans to my lesbian girlfriend. She’s fine with it and hasn’t rejected me or anything. But I feel like she hasn’t fully adjusted to seeing me differently yet.
That’s the part that’s really hard. I don’t feel seen especially by someone I’m dating. But at the same time, she’s not hostile or unsupportive — it just feels like she hasn’t mentally shifted.
I’m struggling with a few things:
- How do you handle a partner who’s “supportive” but still sees you as your assigned gender?
- Has anyone been in a lesbian + trans relationship where one person’s identity shifts?
- How did you navigate that?
I don’t want to pressure her, but I also don’t want to keep feeling unseen and yes we’ve talked about it at least two times and nothing changes. It js gets to the point where Ion wanna sit down and have the same conversation over and over again.
Any advice or similar experiences would really help.
Miss-andry: a TiF feels that safe spaces have begun to dwindle for her ever since she decided to become her true self, which most of her genderfoolish comrades consider to be an inglorious and wretched role in society. You'd think by now everyone would realize that FTMs are the undesirables of the gender caste, but... well, this isn't exactly a subculture known for its brainpower, I suppose.
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I am fully prepared to accept that I’m overreacting about this, but
I keep being reminded of how most most people completely forget that trans people exist and even if they do, they’re perfectly prepared to talk about how disgusting men are or how much they hate men, when they specifically mean cis men based on some cis-specific complaint.
I’ve listened to a streamer go on and on about how supportive he is of trans people only to immediately make a comment about only men having penises.
I’ve listened to a podcast where one of the people started talking about how a thing someone did would be completely fine if they were a woman, but if they were a man it would be disgusting.
I constantly feel as though I’m now exempt from more and more spaces because I’m not a woman.
Queer spaces constantly demonise masculinity and men.
I’ve had so many comments about how disgusting men are, about how could I possibly want to be one of them etc.
Are we,, wanted or welcome anywhere? Unless I am specifically in a space that explicitly welcomes every part of my personal identity, I just constantly hear about how I’m not supposed to be anywhere else.
A "drag artist" - so a woman who dresses in a caricature of a woman as was invented by men - wants to use medical waste to make art. This is profoundly fucking stupid for one very good reason: why not just use
unused needles in this project, you biohazardous dunce?
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Hello,
I am a drag artist and have been on testosterone for a while (5+ years) and have always disposed of my sharps in the correct ways.
However
they accumulate so quickly that I can’t help but wonder if I could use some of them in some manner for wearable art or in my drag. The obvious concern is that since they are used and needles they are dangerous. My thinking is that
after use I could fill their safety cap with something like super glue and put the cap back on and then glue or tape the base of the needle as well so the needle is fully encased and can’t “break out”.
I then would use multiple needles encased in this way to make jewelry wherein the needles could be seen but not actually touchable.
Obviously anything made this way would be tested before actually being worn but I’m trying to determine if this is a bad idea or a stupid one for reasons I’m not fully considering or if anyone has done something like this before. I saw a few post of people doing IVF making patterns with their needles but I don’t know if they actually keep those.
Lastly, a British dood is trying to suss out if the yankee who's keen on her sees her as a bloke or a bird, but she can't quite figure him out due to "cultural cues" as if Americans are an entirely separate species from her. Just sling him a few pints at a pub, dear, and I'm sure you'll find out quite quickly what he thinks - just remember that we see "dude" as gender neutral, so you can't take that into account.
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Interested in your opinions as to signs a cis guy actually sees you as a guy. Specifically in romantic / sexual context.
Here's the story. I (ftm19) am an out trans guy not yet on T.
I don't present especially masc or fem and my "pass rate" is wildly inconsistent. On the weekend this story is set, I went out with big groups of my friend's (f19) friends.
I wore pretty much the same thing the whole time (tshirt, jeans, boots, eyeliner) and put no real effort into passing but neither did I look as queer as I sometimes do. Over this weekend
I had some people assume I was a girl, but a greater amount of people assume I was a cis guy. A few people knew i was a trans guy, and as an unrelated story, I did have an incredible conversation at 2am with a cis gay guy about our shared experiences being queer guys from small towns. 10/10 really affirming I love our community.
REALLY LONG RAMBLING INTRO SORRY
I met a guy. Cis, sexuality unknown, American (we're in the uk).
We majorly hit it off, I got his number, we've been texting, he's definitely flirting, im definitely interested, and when we were out over the weekend I was definitely the one leading things. But my issue is I don't want to waste my time so to speak if he secretly sees me as a girl, but I'm also enjoying the pace we're going at, so I don't want to jar things by interrogating him. The American bit is important bc I'm missing the cultural cues id have if he was a Brit.
For anyone who has ever been in a similar situation where it turned out they were a chaser, what are the red flags. Or if they turned out fine, what were the green flags? Also please ask questions if you need more context!!
TL;DR: How do you spot a chaser over text??
