The Mary Sue

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Jesus. You don't have to pretend Space Jam 2 will be any good.


The first was kinda bad, but it's kinda bad that it has a nostalgiac "so bad it's good" majesty to it.

If the creators of the sequel have any sense, they'll try to replicate that feeling, but drop any attempt at any seriousness, that was the most cringey part of the first one, where the best parts were when it just reveled in the screwball crossover it was intended to be and quit trying to be dramatic, which came off as just bad and kneecapped the comedy factor.


Given that Space Jam 2 is a definate, the good ladies at TMS are drooling all over it. Then they brought up this line...

Yeah, if the Toon Squad is losing she can throw a big enough tantrum that the bad guys will apologize for winning. Personally, I hope they go with The Looney Tunes Show version of Lola where she actually has a personality and flaws. Also, imagine the reeeeeeeeing from those ladies if they did.

Are these idiots serious?

Lola was Mary Sue material in the first one and was HATED for it, and much better received when later portrayals gave her a personality.

Granted, it's the name of their site and they love that sort of shit, but most of humanity doesn't, no matter how they deluded themselves.
 
Are these idiots serious?

Lola was Mary Sue material in the first one and was HATED for it, and much better received when later portrayals gave her a personality.

Granted, it's the name of their site and they love that sort of shit, but most of humanity doesn't, no matter how they deluded themselves.
That's why I picture a lot of REEEEEEing if they don't use the original Lola.
 
Given that Space Jam 2 is a definate, the good ladies at TMS are drooling all over it. Then they brought up this line...



Yeah, if the Toon Squad is losing she can throw a big enough trantrum that the bad guys will appologize for winning. Personally, I hope they go with The Looney Tunes Show version of Lola where she actually has a personality and flaws. Also, imagine the reeeeeeeeing from those ladies if they did.
Give more movies to a bad director, makes perfect sense!
 
It could have been great. Have her test a suborbital stealth jet that uses Chitarri engine tech, and it vanishes. Cue the smash credits and comic book entrance. Go straight to "Here's Captain Marvel, working with group X you've seen before. Here's introduction to her powers. Here's her love interest, an alien who gives her the big green bone. Here she is with her own combat spaceship. Cue her getting the page from Nick Fury. Have her go meet Stallone and the Ravagers to get the coordinates for Earth.

Have the infinity gauntlet go off. Dissolve most the Ravagers. Have her check on Chad Thundercock, Alien Boning Machine, only to find the planet empty and dust in the frontroom. Hell, she can even show up on Titan to find out what happened, meet with Nebula, who's trying to keep Stark alive. There's RDJ's cameo. Nebula can hack the computers in the Ravager ship (populated now by nothing but dust) to get the Earth coordinates.

She has to stop the Kree Empire from invading Earth, where the energy pulse that just wiped out half the universe came from. Cue the big fight scene where she totally kicks ass flying through space while Nebula takes Stark down to Earth. She defeats the Kree, sends them packing.

Now she's the big hero, Tony's badly injured, she gets to meet the Avengers, setup for the second half of Avengers movie.

Bang. Done.

Girl power. Show off Captain Marvel. Make her into a big deal that *might*, just *might* be able to take on Thanos (who beat the Hulk's ass in like 30 seconds), and go totally GRRL PWR! in the SFX.

Oh, wait, that would be a decent popcorn flick.

Considering they hired an actress who apparently has all the acting and emoting ability of Kristen Stewart in a coma, this is going to fucking bomb harder than Cis Busters or Oceans Estrogen.
 
Given that Space Jam 2 is a definate, the good ladies at TMS are drooling all over it. Then they brought up this line...



Yeah, if the Toon Squad is losing she can throw a big enough trantrum that the bad guys will appologize for winning. Personally, I hope they go with The Looney Tunes Show version of Lola where she actually has a personality and flaws. Also, imagine the reeeeeeeeing from those ladies if they did.
She used the term "le sigh". You just know she's a 400 lb sea mammal with pink hair and unshaved legs
 
The movie will bomb critically based on what it is alone, what makes them think making the film "woke" will improve it?

Making a film "woke" is now pretty much announcing to the public that it is a steaming turd and its only hope for success is yelling Nazi at people who don't go see it. This has never worked.
 
Girl power. Show off Captain Marvel. Make her into a big deal that *might*, just *might* be able to take on Thanos (who beat the Hulk's ass in like 30 seconds), and go totally GRRL PWR! in the SFX.
lol no

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Danvers#Powers_and_abilities

Carol Danvers's powers are some of the most basic and generic I've ever come across. She shouldn't be taking down Thanos (with the Infinity Gauntlet) anytime soon. Unless the writers start dicking around with her Binary form...
 
lol no

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carol_Danvers#Powers_and_abilities

Carol Danvers's powers are some of the most basic and generic I've ever come across. She shouldn't be taking down Thanos (with the Infinity Gauntlet) anytime soon. Unless the writers start dicking around with her Binary form...
They'd have to do something special for her, but we all know that they won't. They might give her Deus-Feminism powers, but we all know that no matter what they do with this movie, they're going to fuck it up.
 
They'd have to do something special for her, but we all know that they won't. They might give her Deus-Feminism powers, but we all know that no matter what they do with this movie, they're going to fuck it up.
It's probably worse than how they will arbitrarily increase Rey's powers and abilities in Star Wars Episode IX.
 
It's probably worse than how they will arbitrarily increase Rey's powers and abilities in Star Wars Episode IX.
No shit. Thing about these people is they always have to ramp up the powers. Not intelligence, not strategic/tactical sense, not a little side part of the power, but ALL DA POWAHS!

It would help if they could write, I guess.

then chances are she'll get her ass kicked in infinity war 2 until adam warlock shows up and beats thanos somehow
LOL! A WOMAN getting her ass beat in a woke MCU film?

There's a better chance of Thanos tripping and falling into the death star trash compactor.
 
No shit. Thing about these people is they always have to ramp up the powers. Not intelligence, not strategic/tactical sense, not a little side part of the power, but ALL DA POWAHS!
I'm just waiting for Rey to achieve enlightenment the canon variant of the Oneness state and/or become a deity Force entity. Whereas MCU Carol Danvers gets all of the generic "game/story-breaker" powers, such as reality warping, probability manipulation, quantum powers, etcetera.
 
As happy as I am to see TMS focus on a book that isn't Harry Potter or A Handmaid's Tale, do they have to drag "Matilda" into this? Personally, I think Matilda would be more disgusted by England's diregard for the victims of sex trafficing and London's mayor's incompetience than Trump himself. (Given how the novel version of Matilda is British.)
 
Yeah, matilda was british, and she had much bigger fish to fry than an unpleasant US president. Like what the fuck was up with the school she went to? She's smart enough to have magic powers, she should use those powers to get that fucked up school fixed!

Also, Matilda was a kid. A super smart kid, but she didn't know shit about politics.
 
Yeah, matilda was british, and she had much bigger fish to fry than an unpleasant US president. Like what the fuck was up with the school she went to? She's smart enough to have magic powers, she should use those powers to get that fucked up school fixed!

Also, Matilda was a kid. A super smart kid, but she didn't know shit about politics.
Well, she did use her powers to get rid of the Trenchbowl (she used them more in the movie) and things got better right after that.
 
Well, she did use her powers to get rid of the Trenchbowl (she used them more in the movie) and things got better right after that.
Yeah, sure, she got rid of that one horrible teacher, but clearly that school system had big problems if it was allowing her to be there at all. I mean, from the horrific things being done to those kids you'd think there must have been some serious injuries, if not fatalities. And you'd think someone's parents must have had a problem with it, right? I mean, clearly Matilda takes place is some hellish dystopia... called england.
 
Yeah, sure, she got rid of that one horrible teacher, but clearly that school system had big problems if it was allowing her to be there at all. I mean, from the horrific things being done to those kids you'd think there must have been some serious injuries, if not fatalities. And you'd think someone's parents must have had a problem with it, right? I mean, clearly Matilda takes place is some hellish dystopia... called england.
Fatalities in schools is just part and parcel of British schooling. Seriously, read that article there was pretty fucked up shit in British schools, especially boarding ones.
 
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