- Joined
- Nov 6, 2013
I've never looked up anything related to diapers or babies, though.
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I've never looked up anything related to diapers or babies, though.
- Joined
- May 24, 2014
i've done small press comics myself years ago as a writer, and thus i've worked plenty of conventions and spent a lot of time meeting and interacting with other creators at that level. his work, while certainly not representative of small press as a whole, isn't really all that surprising to me.
it's not abnormal to find at least one or two people per con (the smaller ones anyway) with stuff that you just would not believe. and people will buy it. that's the thing about small press, though, it depends on if they support indie creators/you have a good pitch/your book is just really weird. plus you'd be surprised what people will buy the last day of a convention when they have some money left over.
- Joined
- May 20, 2014
His Sonichu is only 16 pages long per book - and two of those are filler. Yet even when he had finished college and was unemployed for a year - with his mother literally waiting on him - he's still only done two.
When Christian Weston Chandler had you comfortably beaten in both the work ethic and artistic talent departments, it's time for some serious self-reflection.
When Christian Weston Chandler had you comfortably beaten in both the work ethic and artistic talent departments, it's time for some serious self-reflection.
Soren
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2014
Now THAT'S what I call an epic. Mahabharata ain't got SHIT on this.
EzioCanLeapofFaith
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2013
GK selling his comic reminds me of a time I went to a convention and there was a guy selling his for like 2 dollars. I remember seeing it and thinking wow this is terrible.
I didn't even read it because the art was so bad it was really off putting.
I felt so bad for the guy I almost bought a copy, almost. Still felt really embarrassed for the guy.
I'm sure the reason GK sold some of his comics at that convention is because people felt pity. What with the ugly art and desperate pitch for money.
I didn't even read it because the art was so bad it was really off putting.
I felt so bad for the guy I almost bought a copy, almost. Still felt really embarrassed for the guy.
I'm sure the reason GK sold some of his comics at that convention is because people felt pity. What with the ugly art and desperate pitch for money.
- Joined
- Oct 9, 2013
Guess what!? 
It's time for another sporking! I love sporkings! So excited!
Let's post the links for anymore just joining us (and welcome!)
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-82
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-170
Ultimate Quest for Glory! Chapter 2!
EDIT : This is my 1000th post. YAY!!!
It's time for another sporking! I love sporkings! So excited!Let's post the links for anymore just joining us (and welcome!)
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-82
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-170
Ultimate Quest for Glory! Chapter 2!
Chapter 2: Lightning Never Strikes
That's right folks, lighting never Strikes. At all. Ever. It's all just a myth. I almost feel bad, we haven't even made it a sentence in and I've already found fault with it.
Lily searched the treasure chests in the temple for anything that might prove useful on her venture to the corners of Pangaea. She found some silks and satin, a few gallons of "Holy Water", and a variety of conventional food.
The quotation marks have instantly made me suspicious of the validity of this claim.
. After exhausting every room that was not behind the giant door, she approached the giant door itself. It did not budge, and her approach triggered that same omnipotent voice from before. It boomed into her conscious:
"The eight gems are what open this door as they protect the Soul of the Temple. I thought that was obvious, or else there would've been no point in fetching them."
Sorry Lily, thisgame I MEAN STORY you're in was written by The Golden Knight, so you're going to have to get used to an omnipresent douchecanoe butting into your brain every now and again. Tough luck kiddo.
Lily bolts, "HUMPH!" With no better ideas, she went outside. The fields and immediate surroundings are the same as before, with the added inclusion of zombie remains incinerating within the sunlight now that the storm has passed. That's when she couldn't help but smell the sizzled grass, overpowering even the stench of burning dog flesh. She swiveled her body to see along the side of the temple. Within the scorched crater by the temple side, there was something inside it. It sure didn't look like scorched grass, so she had to go closer.
She hurried until she was within only a couple feet of this oddity, standing firmly on the blackened ground. The ground was hot enough to warm her shoes until the heat reached her insulated feet. She stooped down and closely inspected what the heck this thing was. The anomaly was actually the body of another human, someone quite big and muscular. It was wearing a polo shirt and khakis. It let out a groan, startling Lily up onto her feet.
OH NO. NO NO NO. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, GK. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. NO ONE LIKES AN AUTHOR AVATAR AND YOU KNOW IT.
He slowly got up, draping most of Lily in his shadow.
Oh thank God, it's Luke.
His deep voice droned, "Where am I? How did I get here?" Lily's jaw gaped and her lip quivered from this phenomenon. She did her best to struggle with an answer. She awkwardly stuttered, "I could've sworn lightning struck right here. I have no idea how a human body could take a bolt of lightning without turning into a crisp." She was right in that the man's body was in good condition, especially considering she found it in the epicenter of a newly formed crater. She finished answering, "You're near the Temple of the Creators, with Peasants' Village at the foot of the hill. You're on Pangaea."
He huffed, "Pangaea?! This can't be right!" He aggressively twisted his body to survey the scenery.
You can't twist your body aggressively. I know that because I just tried. Because I'm dumb like that.
Lily retorted, "How can this not be Pangaea? This is my home, and nobody with a working brain could ever forget the place called home. I know for a fact we are on Pangaea." He took pause and after catching his breath, he explained, "I am supposed to be in my office, at my computer, debugging The Ultimate Quest for Glory." Lily looked at him quizzically and asked more softly, "So what makes this a problem?" He answers, "Because in The Ultimate Quest for Glory, the player planet was called Pangaea."
TGK probably just spelled it wrong, Luke.
He gasped with a revelation. He concluded, "I'm not just some player character in the game. I am literally IN the game!" He then looked Lily in the eye and sheepishly chuckled. "With all this craziness, I forgot to introduce myself. The name's Luke, and I am one of the Developers." Lily gasped and almost fainted, but not before bowing to him, sticking her rear in the air like a Muslim prayer.
You know, cause there's nothing sexier than Muslim prayer, right?
He carefully picked her up by the collar of her dress and gently explained, "Now, you don't need to go through that kind of trouble just for me."
"But," she softly answered, "You literally created me. Is this not how you praise your creator?"
"I'm no almighty God, if that's what you're saying. I'm just a programmer and a human with a strong build. In fact, how I ever got here is beyond me, assuming this is not just some kind of dream."
Bless you, Luke, bless you.
She slapped him. "If this were a dream, you should've woken up, or you wouldn't have felt a thing and then used that to learn you're in a lucid dream." He gasped, "But this seems so...real. How is this possible?" She shrugs and grunts, "Ah-unno".
I'm pretty sure it's not okay to just slap people. Just FYI.
"But if I'm here...Then maybe Heather and Jay are here as well!"
Sorry @GamerGirl140 . Look's like you're still trapped in TGK's retarded fantasy world.
She asked, "Who are they?" Luke boldly answered, "They're the other Developers. We could definitely figure things out when we're all together!" Lily grinned and jumped from excitement. "Oh boy," she exclaimed, "Our quest is really starting to get rolling! In fact, there was another lightning bolt we should check out." Luke bluntly asked, "How many bolts were there, exactly?" She answered, "There were a whole bunch. I lost count, but I remember one of them hit the temple, and a few others seemed to come from the same bolt except they hit around and about."
There were eleven lightning bolts actually, as Jay so eloquently pointed out to us in the last chapter.
The two of them hurried to the other side of the temple, and they found the crater from the other bolt that missed the temple. After intimately poking inside the crater, all they found was a pink hairclip with a decorative wand in the center. Luke hummed in thought while examining the hairclip. He surmised, "Well, this looks like it should've been Heather's, but there's no other trace of her."
Pink hair ribbon? Magic Wand? Oh Heather, I'm so, so sorry.
Lily asked bluntly, "Shouldn't you Developers have some sort of Console you use to do your tests and mine for data? You know, Console Commands and all that..." Luke smirked and shyly admitted, "The Console is a program within a program, normally nothing but an interface. Had I have expected to physically enter the game, I would've added a physical, literal console within this realm." Lily timidly argued, "But this isn't a game to me. This is my life!"
Okay so, this just cements how aware Lily is that she lives in a game. And makes chapter one just completely unnecessary.
Luke continued, "Either way, we have no idea where Heather is, assuming she's here on Pangaea at all, and I have even less of an idea of what ever happened to Jay. Maybe we'll get our answers if we just play along -" He awkwardly amended, "I mean, if we start questing for these eight gems that seem so important." The two of them went walking to Peasants' Village.
As they were cruising down the hill, Lily asked, "So, considering we're now going on an adventure, I imagine there will be armies of bad guys waiting to pounce on us. I don't suppose you could fight, could you?" Luke casually answered, "To be honest, my strength makes me pretty good with holding a sword...or two. And this is the kind of world where everybody knows how to fight, so I should be fine if I find a sword or two." Lily continued the chat by adding, "Well, because I've been raised in a religious life, weapons were always forbidden. Thankfully, nobody there has ever counted my hands or words as weapons. So, with whatever chance I got, I learned martial arts." Luke boomed a giggle from Lily mentioning hands or words as weapons.
Except I don't, because Luke could do better.
And now, the quest has begun. Lily has someone to talk to, and she has literally taken the first steps on THE Ultimate Quest for Glory!
And after all that, they've still accomplished nothing! YAY!
That's right folks, lighting never Strikes. At all. Ever. It's all just a myth. I almost feel bad, we haven't even made it a sentence in and I've already found fault with it.
Lily searched the treasure chests in the temple for anything that might prove useful on her venture to the corners of Pangaea. She found some silks and satin, a few gallons of "Holy Water", and a variety of conventional food.
The quotation marks have instantly made me suspicious of the validity of this claim.
. After exhausting every room that was not behind the giant door, she approached the giant door itself. It did not budge, and her approach triggered that same omnipotent voice from before. It boomed into her conscious:
"The eight gems are what open this door as they protect the Soul of the Temple. I thought that was obvious, or else there would've been no point in fetching them."
Sorry Lily, this
Lily bolts, "HUMPH!" With no better ideas, she went outside. The fields and immediate surroundings are the same as before, with the added inclusion of zombie remains incinerating within the sunlight now that the storm has passed. That's when she couldn't help but smell the sizzled grass, overpowering even the stench of burning dog flesh. She swiveled her body to see along the side of the temple. Within the scorched crater by the temple side, there was something inside it. It sure didn't look like scorched grass, so she had to go closer.
She hurried until she was within only a couple feet of this oddity, standing firmly on the blackened ground. The ground was hot enough to warm her shoes until the heat reached her insulated feet. She stooped down and closely inspected what the heck this thing was. The anomaly was actually the body of another human, someone quite big and muscular. It was wearing a polo shirt and khakis. It let out a groan, startling Lily up onto her feet.
OH NO. NO NO NO. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, GK. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. NO ONE LIKES AN AUTHOR AVATAR AND YOU KNOW IT.
He slowly got up, draping most of Lily in his shadow.
Oh thank God, it's Luke.
His deep voice droned, "Where am I? How did I get here?" Lily's jaw gaped and her lip quivered from this phenomenon. She did her best to struggle with an answer. She awkwardly stuttered, "I could've sworn lightning struck right here. I have no idea how a human body could take a bolt of lightning without turning into a crisp." She was right in that the man's body was in good condition, especially considering she found it in the epicenter of a newly formed crater. She finished answering, "You're near the Temple of the Creators, with Peasants' Village at the foot of the hill. You're on Pangaea."
He huffed, "Pangaea?! This can't be right!" He aggressively twisted his body to survey the scenery.
You can't twist your body aggressively. I know that because I just tried. Because I'm dumb like that.
Lily retorted, "How can this not be Pangaea? This is my home, and nobody with a working brain could ever forget the place called home. I know for a fact we are on Pangaea." He took pause and after catching his breath, he explained, "I am supposed to be in my office, at my computer, debugging The Ultimate Quest for Glory." Lily looked at him quizzically and asked more softly, "So what makes this a problem?" He answers, "Because in The Ultimate Quest for Glory, the player planet was called Pangaea."
TGK probably just spelled it wrong, Luke.
He gasped with a revelation. He concluded, "I'm not just some player character in the game. I am literally IN the game!" He then looked Lily in the eye and sheepishly chuckled. "With all this craziness, I forgot to introduce myself. The name's Luke, and I am one of the Developers." Lily gasped and almost fainted, but not before bowing to him, sticking her rear in the air like a Muslim prayer.
You know, cause there's nothing sexier than Muslim prayer, right?
He carefully picked her up by the collar of her dress and gently explained, "Now, you don't need to go through that kind of trouble just for me."
"But," she softly answered, "You literally created me. Is this not how you praise your creator?"
"I'm no almighty God, if that's what you're saying. I'm just a programmer and a human with a strong build. In fact, how I ever got here is beyond me, assuming this is not just some kind of dream."
Bless you, Luke, bless you.
She slapped him. "If this were a dream, you should've woken up, or you wouldn't have felt a thing and then used that to learn you're in a lucid dream." He gasped, "But this seems so...real. How is this possible?" She shrugs and grunts, "Ah-unno".
I'm pretty sure it's not okay to just slap people. Just FYI.
"But if I'm here...Then maybe Heather and Jay are here as well!"
Sorry @GamerGirl140 . Look's like you're still trapped in TGK's retarded fantasy world.
She asked, "Who are they?" Luke boldly answered, "They're the other Developers. We could definitely figure things out when we're all together!" Lily grinned and jumped from excitement. "Oh boy," she exclaimed, "Our quest is really starting to get rolling! In fact, there was another lightning bolt we should check out." Luke bluntly asked, "How many bolts were there, exactly?" She answered, "There were a whole bunch. I lost count, but I remember one of them hit the temple, and a few others seemed to come from the same bolt except they hit around and about."
There were eleven lightning bolts actually, as Jay so eloquently pointed out to us in the last chapter.
The two of them hurried to the other side of the temple, and they found the crater from the other bolt that missed the temple. After intimately poking inside the crater, all they found was a pink hairclip with a decorative wand in the center. Luke hummed in thought while examining the hairclip. He surmised, "Well, this looks like it should've been Heather's, but there's no other trace of her."
Pink hair ribbon? Magic Wand? Oh Heather, I'm so, so sorry.
Lily asked bluntly, "Shouldn't you Developers have some sort of Console you use to do your tests and mine for data? You know, Console Commands and all that..." Luke smirked and shyly admitted, "The Console is a program within a program, normally nothing but an interface. Had I have expected to physically enter the game, I would've added a physical, literal console within this realm." Lily timidly argued, "But this isn't a game to me. This is my life!"
Okay so, this just cements how aware Lily is that she lives in a game. And makes chapter one just completely unnecessary.
Luke continued, "Either way, we have no idea where Heather is, assuming she's here on Pangaea at all, and I have even less of an idea of what ever happened to Jay. Maybe we'll get our answers if we just play along -" He awkwardly amended, "I mean, if we start questing for these eight gems that seem so important." The two of them went walking to Peasants' Village.
As they were cruising down the hill, Lily asked, "So, considering we're now going on an adventure, I imagine there will be armies of bad guys waiting to pounce on us. I don't suppose you could fight, could you?" Luke casually answered, "To be honest, my strength makes me pretty good with holding a sword...or two. And this is the kind of world where everybody knows how to fight, so I should be fine if I find a sword or two." Lily continued the chat by adding, "Well, because I've been raised in a religious life, weapons were always forbidden. Thankfully, nobody there has ever counted my hands or words as weapons. So, with whatever chance I got, I learned martial arts." Luke boomed a giggle from Lily mentioning hands or words as weapons.
Except I don't, because Luke could do better.
And now, the quest has begun. Lily has someone to talk to, and she has literally taken the first steps on THE Ultimate Quest for Glory!
And after all that, they've still accomplished nothing! YAY!
EDIT : This is my 1000th post. YAY!!!
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2014
Guess what!?
Let's post the links for anymore just joining us (and welcome!)
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-82
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-170
Ultimate Quest for Glory! Chapter 2!
Chapter 2: Lightning Never Strikes
That's right folks, lighting never Strikes. At all. Ever. It's all just a myth. I almost feel bad, we haven't even made it a sentence in and I've already found fault with it.
Lily searched the treasure chests in the temple for anything that might prove useful on her venture to the corners of Pangaea. She found some silks and satin, a few gallons of "Holy Water", and a variety of conventional food.
The quotation marks have instantly made me suspicious of the validity of this claim.
. After exhausting every room that was not behind the giant door, she approached the giant door itself. It did not budge, and her approach triggered that same omnipotent voice from before. It boomed into her conscious:
"The eight gems are what open this door as they protect the Soul of the Temple. I thought that was obvious, or else there would've been no point in fetching them."
Sorry Lily, thisgameI MEAN STORY you're in was written by The Golden Knight, so you're going to have to get used to an omnipresent douchecanoe butting into your brain every now and again. Tough luck kiddo.
Lily bolts, "HUMPH!" With no better ideas, she went outside. The fields and immediate surroundings are the same as before, with the added inclusion of zombie remains incinerating within the sunlight now that the storm has passed. That's when she couldn't help but smell the sizzled grass, overpowering even the stench of burning dog flesh. She swiveled her body to see along the side of the temple. Within the scorched crater by the temple side, there was something inside it. It sure didn't look like scorched grass, so she had to go closer.
She hurried until she was within only a couple feet of this oddity, standing firmly on the blackened ground. The ground was hot enough to warm her shoes until the heat reached her insulated feet. She stooped down and closely inspected what the heck this thing was. The anomaly was actually the body of another human, someone quite big and muscular. It was wearing a polo shirt and khakis. It let out a groan, startling Lily up onto her feet.
OH NO. NO NO NO. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, GK. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. NO ONE LIKES AN AUTHOR AVATAR AND YOU KNOW IT.
He slowly got up, draping most of Lily in his shadow.
Oh thank God, it's Luke.
His deep voice droned, "Where am I? How did I get here?" Lily's jaw gaped and her lip quivered from this phenomenon. She did her best to struggle with an answer. She awkwardly stuttered, "I could've sworn lightning struck right here. I have no idea how a human body could take a bolt of lightning without turning into a crisp." She was right in that the man's body was in good condition, especially considering she found it in the epicenter of a newly formed crater. She finished answering, "You're near the Temple of the Creators, with Peasants' Village at the foot of the hill. You're on Pangaea."
He huffed, "Pangaea?! This can't be right!" He aggressively twisted his body to survey the scenery.
You can't twist your body aggressively. I know that because I just tried. Because I'm dumb like that.
Lily retorted, "How can this not be Pangaea? This is my home, and nobody with a working brain could ever forget the place called home. I know for a fact we are on Pangaea." He took pause and after catching his breath, he explained, "I am supposed to be in my office, at my computer, debugging The Ultimate Quest for Glory." Lily looked at him quizzically and asked more softly, "So what makes this a problem?" He answers, "Because in The Ultimate Quest for Glory, the player planet was called Pangaea."
TGK probably just spelled it wrong, Luke.
He gasped with a revelation. He concluded, "I'm not just some player character in the game. I am literally IN the game!" He then looked Lily in the eye and sheepishly chuckled. "With all this craziness, I forgot to introduce myself. The name's Luke, and I am one of the Developers." Lily gasped and almost fainted, but not before bowing to him, sticking her rear in the air like a Muslim prayer.
You know, cause there's nothing sexier than Muslim prayer, right?
He carefully picked her up by the collar of her dress and gently explained, "Now, you don't need to go through that kind of trouble just for me."
"But," she softly answered, "You literally created me. Is this not how you praise your creator?"
"I'm no almighty God, if that's what you're saying. I'm just a programmer and a human with a strong build. In fact, how I ever got here is beyond me, assuming this is not just some kind of dream."
Bless you, Luke, bless you.
She slapped him. "If this were a dream, you should've woken up, or you wouldn't have felt a thing and then used that to learn you're in a lucid dream." He gasped, "But this seems so...real. How is this possible?" She shrugs and grunts, "Ah-unno".
I'm pretty sure it's not okay to just slap people. Just FYI.
"But if I'm here...Then maybe Heather and Jay are here as well!"
Sorry @GamerGirl140 . Look's like you're still trapped in TGK's retarded fantasy world.
She asked, "Who are they?" Luke boldly answered, "They're the other Developers. We could definitely figure things out when we're all together!" Lily grinned and jumped from excitement. "Oh boy," she exclaimed, "Our quest is really starting to get rolling! In fact, there was another lightning bolt we should check out." Luke bluntly asked, "How many bolts were there, exactly?" She answered, "There were a whole bunch. I lost count, but I remember one of them hit the temple, and a few others seemed to come from the same bolt except they hit around and about."
There were eleven lightning bolts actually, as Jay so eloquently pointed out to us in the last chapter.
The two of them hurried to the other side of the temple, and they found the crater from the other bolt that missed the temple. After intimately poking inside the crater, all they found was a pink hairclip with a decorative wand in the center. Luke hummed in thought while examining the hairclip. He surmised, "Well, this looks like it should've been Heather's, but there's no other trace of her."
Pink hair ribbon? Magic Wand? Oh Heather, I'm so, so sorry.
Lily asked bluntly, "Shouldn't you Developers have some sort of Console you use to do your tests and mine for data? You know, Console Commands and all that..." Luke smirked and shyly admitted, "The Console is a program within a program, normally nothing but an interface. Had I have expected to physically enter the game, I would've added a physical, literal console within this realm." Lily timidly argued, "But this isn't a game to me. This is my life!"
Okay so, this just cements how aware Lily is that she lives in a game. And makes chapter one just completely unnecessary.
Luke continued, "Either way, we have no idea where Heather is, assuming she's here on Pangaea at all, and I have even less of an idea of what ever happened to Jay. Maybe we'll get our answers if we just play along -" He awkwardly amended, "I mean, if we start questing for these eight gems that seem so important." The two of them went walking to Peasants' Village.
As they were cruising down the hill, Lily asked, "So, considering we're now going on an adventure, I imagine there will be armies of bad guys waiting to pounce on us. I don't suppose you could fight, could you?" Luke casually answered, "To be honest, my strength makes me pretty good with holding a sword...or two. And this is the kind of world where everybody knows how to fight, so I should be fine if I find a sword or two." Lily continued the chat by adding, "Well, because I've been raised in a religious life, weapons were always forbidden. Thankfully, nobody there has ever counted my hands or words as weapons. So, with whatever chance I got, I learned martial arts." Luke boomed a giggle from Lily mentioning hands or words as weapons.
Except I don't, because Luke could do better.
And now, the quest has begun. Lily has someone to talk to, and she has literally taken the first steps on THE Ultimate Quest for Glory!
And after all that, they've still accomplished nothing! YAY!
EDIT : This is my 1000th post. YAY!!!
Great, the whackjob still can't let me go.
Also, there is no way in hell I would wear hairclips, let alone a pink one!
- Joined
- Jun 18, 2014
Congrats on post 1000Guess what!?
Let's post the links for anymore just joining us (and welcome!)
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-82
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-170
Ultimate Quest for Glory! Chapter 2!
Chapter 2: Lightning Never Strikes
That's right folks, lighting never Strikes. At all. Ever. It's all just a myth. I almost feel bad, we haven't even made it a sentence in and I've already found fault with it.
Lily searched the treasure chests in the temple for anything that might prove useful on her venture to the corners of Pangaea. She found some silks and satin, a few gallons of "Holy Water", and a variety of conventional food.
The quotation marks have instantly made me suspicious of the validity of this claim.
. After exhausting every room that was not behind the giant door, she approached the giant door itself. It did not budge, and her approach triggered that same omnipotent voice from before. It boomed into her conscious:
"The eight gems are what open this door as they protect the Soul of the Temple. I thought that was obvious, or else there would've been no point in fetching them."
Sorry Lily, thisgameI MEAN STORY you're in was written by The Golden Knight, so you're going to have to get used to an omnipresent douchecanoe butting into your brain every now and again. Tough luck kiddo.
Lily bolts, "HUMPH!" With no better ideas, she went outside. The fields and immediate surroundings are the same as before, with the added inclusion of zombie remains incinerating within the sunlight now that the storm has passed. That's when she couldn't help but smell the sizzled grass, overpowering even the stench of burning dog flesh. She swiveled her body to see along the side of the temple. Within the scorched crater by the temple side, there was something inside it. It sure didn't look like scorched grass, so she had to go closer.
She hurried until she was within only a couple feet of this oddity, standing firmly on the blackened ground. The ground was hot enough to warm her shoes until the heat reached her insulated feet. She stooped down and closely inspected what the heck this thing was. The anomaly was actually the body of another human, someone quite big and muscular. It was wearing a polo shirt and khakis. It let out a groan, startling Lily up onto her feet.
OH NO. NO NO NO. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, GK. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. NO ONE LIKES AN AUTHOR AVATAR AND YOU KNOW IT.
He slowly got up, draping most of Lily in his shadow.
Oh thank God, it's Luke.
His deep voice droned, "Where am I? How did I get here?" Lily's jaw gaped and her lip quivered from this phenomenon. She did her best to struggle with an answer. She awkwardly stuttered, "I could've sworn lightning struck right here. I have no idea how a human body could take a bolt of lightning without turning into a crisp." She was right in that the man's body was in good condition, especially considering she found it in the epicenter of a newly formed crater. She finished answering, "You're near the Temple of the Creators, with Peasants' Village at the foot of the hill. You're on Pangaea."
He huffed, "Pangaea?! This can't be right!" He aggressively twisted his body to survey the scenery.
You can't twist your body aggressively. I know that because I just tried. Because I'm dumb like that.
Lily retorted, "How can this not be Pangaea? This is my home, and nobody with a working brain could ever forget the place called home. I know for a fact we are on Pangaea." He took pause and after catching his breath, he explained, "I am supposed to be in my office, at my computer, debugging The Ultimate Quest for Glory." Lily looked at him quizzically and asked more softly, "So what makes this a problem?" He answers, "Because in The Ultimate Quest for Glory, the player planet was called Pangaea."
TGK probably just spelled it wrong, Luke.
He gasped with a revelation. He concluded, "I'm not just some player character in the game. I am literally IN the game!" He then looked Lily in the eye and sheepishly chuckled. "With all this craziness, I forgot to introduce myself. The name's Luke, and I am one of the Developers." Lily gasped and almost fainted, but not before bowing to him, sticking her rear in the air like a Muslim prayer.
You know, cause there's nothing sexier than Muslim prayer, right?
He carefully picked her up by the collar of her dress and gently explained, "Now, you don't need to go through that kind of trouble just for me."
"But," she softly answered, "You literally created me. Is this not how you praise your creator?"
"I'm no almighty God, if that's what you're saying. I'm just a programmer and a human with a strong build. In fact, how I ever got here is beyond me, assuming this is not just some kind of dream."
Bless you, Luke, bless you.
She slapped him. "If this were a dream, you should've woken up, or you wouldn't have felt a thing and then used that to learn you're in a lucid dream." He gasped, "But this seems so...real. How is this possible?" She shrugs and grunts, "Ah-unno".
I'm pretty sure it's not okay to just slap people. Just FYI.
"But if I'm here...Then maybe Heather and Jay are here as well!"
Sorry @GamerGirl140 . Look's like you're still trapped in TGK's retarded fantasy world.
She asked, "Who are they?" Luke boldly answered, "They're the other Developers. We could definitely figure things out when we're all together!" Lily grinned and jumped from excitement. "Oh boy," she exclaimed, "Our quest is really starting to get rolling! In fact, there was another lightning bolt we should check out." Luke bluntly asked, "How many bolts were there, exactly?" She answered, "There were a whole bunch. I lost count, but I remember one of them hit the temple, and a few others seemed to come from the same bolt except they hit around and about."
There were eleven lightning bolts actually, as Jay so eloquently pointed out to us in the last chapter.
The two of them hurried to the other side of the temple, and they found the crater from the other bolt that missed the temple. After intimately poking inside the crater, all they found was a pink hairclip with a decorative wand in the center. Luke hummed in thought while examining the hairclip. He surmised, "Well, this looks like it should've been Heather's, but there's no other trace of her."
Pink hair ribbon? Magic Wand? Oh Heather, I'm so, so sorry.
Lily asked bluntly, "Shouldn't you Developers have some sort of Console you use to do your tests and mine for data? You know, Console Commands and all that..." Luke smirked and shyly admitted, "The Console is a program within a program, normally nothing but an interface. Had I have expected to physically enter the game, I would've added a physical, literal console within this realm." Lily timidly argued, "But this isn't a game to me. This is my life!"
Okay so, this just cements how aware Lily is that she lives in a game. And makes chapter one just completely unnecessary.
Luke continued, "Either way, we have no idea where Heather is, assuming she's here on Pangaea at all, and I have even less of an idea of what ever happened to Jay. Maybe we'll get our answers if we just play along -" He awkwardly amended, "I mean, if we start questing for these eight gems that seem so important." The two of them went walking to Peasants' Village.
As they were cruising down the hill, Lily asked, "So, considering we're now going on an adventure, I imagine there will be armies of bad guys waiting to pounce on us. I don't suppose you could fight, could you?" Luke casually answered, "To be honest, my strength makes me pretty good with holding a sword...or two. And this is the kind of world where everybody knows how to fight, so I should be fine if I find a sword or two." Lily continued the chat by adding, "Well, because I've been raised in a religious life, weapons were always forbidden. Thankfully, nobody there has ever counted my hands or words as weapons. So, with whatever chance I got, I learned martial arts." Luke boomed a giggle from Lily mentioning hands or words as weapons.
Except I don't, because Luke could do better.
And now, the quest has begun. Lily has someone to talk to, and she has literally taken the first steps on THE Ultimate Quest for Glory!
And after all that, they've still accomplished nothing! YAY!
EDIT : This is my 1000th post. YAY!!!
Well at least we get Luke as a character in this chapter but unfortunately that means GK's self insert will be making his appearance next chapter. I wonder how long until he gets his two broadswords?
deadson
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2014
Guess what!?
Let's post the links for anymore just joining us (and welcome!)
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-82
http://cwckiforums.com/threads/the-golden-knight.3538/page-170
Ultimate Quest for Glory! Chapter 2!
Chapter 2: Lightning Never Strikes
That's right folks, lighting never Strikes. At all. Ever. It's all just a myth. I almost feel bad, we haven't even made it a sentence in and I've already found fault with it.
Lily searched the treasure chests in the temple for anything that might prove useful on her venture to the corners of Pangaea. She found some silks and satin, a few gallons of "Holy Water", and a variety of conventional food.
The quotation marks have instantly made me suspicious of the validity of this claim.
. After exhausting every room that was not behind the giant door, she approached the giant door itself. It did not budge, and her approach triggered that same omnipotent voice from before. It boomed into her conscious:
"The eight gems are what open this door as they protect the Soul of the Temple. I thought that was obvious, or else there would've been no point in fetching them."
Sorry Lily, thisgameI MEAN STORY you're in was written by The Golden Knight, so you're going to have to get used to an omnipresent douchecanoe butting into your brain every now and again. Tough luck kiddo.
Lily bolts, "HUMPH!" With no better ideas, she went outside. The fields and immediate surroundings are the same as before, with the added inclusion of zombie remains incinerating within the sunlight now that the storm has passed. That's when she couldn't help but smell the sizzled grass, overpowering even the stench of burning dog flesh. She swiveled her body to see along the side of the temple. Within the scorched crater by the temple side, there was something inside it. It sure didn't look like scorched grass, so she had to go closer.
She hurried until she was within only a couple feet of this oddity, standing firmly on the blackened ground. The ground was hot enough to warm her shoes until the heat reached her insulated feet. She stooped down and closely inspected what the heck this thing was. The anomaly was actually the body of another human, someone quite big and muscular. It was wearing a polo shirt and khakis. It let out a groan, startling Lily up onto her feet.
OH NO. NO NO NO. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT, GK. DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT IT. NO ONE LIKES AN AUTHOR AVATAR AND YOU KNOW IT.
He slowly got up, draping most of Lily in his shadow.
Oh thank God, it's Luke.
His deep voice droned, "Where am I? How did I get here?" Lily's jaw gaped and her lip quivered from this phenomenon. She did her best to struggle with an answer. She awkwardly stuttered, "I could've sworn lightning struck right here. I have no idea how a human body could take a bolt of lightning without turning into a crisp." She was right in that the man's body was in good condition, especially considering she found it in the epicenter of a newly formed crater. She finished answering, "You're near the Temple of the Creators, with Peasants' Village at the foot of the hill. You're on Pangaea."
He huffed, "Pangaea?! This can't be right!" He aggressively twisted his body to survey the scenery.
You can't twist your body aggressively. I know that because I just tried. Because I'm dumb like that.
Lily retorted, "How can this not be Pangaea? This is my home, and nobody with a working brain could ever forget the place called home. I know for a fact we are on Pangaea." He took pause and after catching his breath, he explained, "I am supposed to be in my office, at my computer, debugging The Ultimate Quest for Glory." Lily looked at him quizzically and asked more softly, "So what makes this a problem?" He answers, "Because in The Ultimate Quest for Glory, the player planet was called Pangaea."
TGK probably just spelled it wrong, Luke.
He gasped with a revelation. He concluded, "I'm not just some player character in the game. I am literally IN the game!" He then looked Lily in the eye and sheepishly chuckled. "With all this craziness, I forgot to introduce myself. The name's Luke, and I am one of the Developers." Lily gasped and almost fainted, but not before bowing to him, sticking her rear in the air like a Muslim prayer.
You know, cause there's nothing sexier than Muslim prayer, right?
He carefully picked her up by the collar of her dress and gently explained, "Now, you don't need to go through that kind of trouble just for me."
"But," she softly answered, "You literally created me. Is this not how you praise your creator?"
"I'm no almighty God, if that's what you're saying. I'm just a programmer and a human with a strong build. In fact, how I ever got here is beyond me, assuming this is not just some kind of dream."
Bless you, Luke, bless you.
She slapped him. "If this were a dream, you should've woken up, or you wouldn't have felt a thing and then used that to learn you're in a lucid dream." He gasped, "But this seems so...real. How is this possible?" She shrugs and grunts, "Ah-unno".
I'm pretty sure it's not okay to just slap people. Just FYI.
"But if I'm here...Then maybe Heather and Jay are here as well!"
Sorry @GamerGirl140 . Look's like you're still trapped in TGK's retarded fantasy world.
She asked, "Who are they?" Luke boldly answered, "They're the other Developers. We could definitely figure things out when we're all together!" Lily grinned and jumped from excitement. "Oh boy," she exclaimed, "Our quest is really starting to get rolling! In fact, there was another lightning bolt we should check out." Luke bluntly asked, "How many bolts were there, exactly?" She answered, "There were a whole bunch. I lost count, but I remember one of them hit the temple, and a few others seemed to come from the same bolt except they hit around and about."
There were eleven lightning bolts actually, as Jay so eloquently pointed out to us in the last chapter.
The two of them hurried to the other side of the temple, and they found the crater from the other bolt that missed the temple. After intimately poking inside the crater, all they found was a pink hairclip with a decorative wand in the center. Luke hummed in thought while examining the hairclip. He surmised, "Well, this looks like it should've been Heather's, but there's no other trace of her."
Pink hair ribbon? Magic Wand? Oh Heather, I'm so, so sorry.
Lily asked bluntly, "Shouldn't you Developers have some sort of Console you use to do your tests and mine for data? You know, Console Commands and all that..." Luke smirked and shyly admitted, "The Console is a program within a program, normally nothing but an interface. Had I have expected to physically enter the game, I would've added a physical, literal console within this realm." Lily timidly argued, "But this isn't a game to me. This is my life!"
Okay so, this just cements how aware Lily is that she lives in a game. And makes chapter one just completely unnecessary.
Luke continued, "Either way, we have no idea where Heather is, assuming she's here on Pangaea at all, and I have even less of an idea of what ever happened to Jay. Maybe we'll get our answers if we just play along -" He awkwardly amended, "I mean, if we start questing for these eight gems that seem so important." The two of them went walking to Peasants' Village.
As they were cruising down the hill, Lily asked, "So, considering we're now going on an adventure, I imagine there will be armies of bad guys waiting to pounce on us. I don't suppose you could fight, could you?" Luke casually answered, "To be honest, my strength makes me pretty good with holding a sword...or two. And this is the kind of world where everybody knows how to fight, so I should be fine if I find a sword or two." Lily continued the chat by adding, "Well, because I've been raised in a religious life, weapons were always forbidden. Thankfully, nobody there has ever counted my hands or words as weapons. So, with whatever chance I got, I learned martial arts." Luke boomed a giggle from Lily mentioning hands or words as weapons.
Except I don't, because Luke could do better.
And now, the quest has begun. Lily has someone to talk to, and she has literally taken the first steps on THE Ultimate Quest for Glory!
And after all that, they've still accomplished nothing! YAY!
EDIT : This is my 1000th post. YAY!!!
Y'know, considering that Lisa is supposedly his new love and Heather is "dead" to him, I'm rather interested as to how Lisa will react. Especially seeing as how she's not in the story.
- Joined
- Jul 18, 2013
Well, obviously, you're just not an obedient little sweetheart from the ground up!
- Joined
- Dec 11, 2013
Maybe I'm missing something here, but then I never worked for Dell so I can't really say whether or not it's different. The Tinfoil Knave keeps going on about how tired he is from working 9-5 and fixing PCs. He gets home, is totally wiped and boo hoo hoo, life is hard.
Here's the thing. I've been where he is. For a while, before I landed another job that paid better, I too was a traveling PC tech. Back in the early days of this century it was a big thing and many companies offered this kind of service. I'd come in the morning, get my "duty list" for the day, get my supplies and spend the next 8 hours building, fixing and setting up PCs and home theaters. It wasn't that hard. Swapping out a NIC or running some low level diagnostics on a PC took no time whatsoever. Typically calls took about 30 minutes even though we billed by the hour. So 7-8 calls and I'd be done by three and that included the time I took for lunch. Yes there was some traveling and yes trying to find a spot to park was sometimes difficult but these things come with the territory.
On an amusing note, he's very proud of being A+ certified. To anybody in the industry, that's literally one of the certifications that nobody cares about. If you can build a PC and name all the parts, you're more than halfway there. Most people don't get it unless they're A) easily impressed or B) feel the more certifications they have after their name the more impressive they are.
Here's the thing. I've been where he is. For a while, before I landed another job that paid better, I too was a traveling PC tech. Back in the early days of this century it was a big thing and many companies offered this kind of service. I'd come in the morning, get my "duty list" for the day, get my supplies and spend the next 8 hours building, fixing and setting up PCs and home theaters. It wasn't that hard. Swapping out a NIC or running some low level diagnostics on a PC took no time whatsoever. Typically calls took about 30 minutes even though we billed by the hour. So 7-8 calls and I'd be done by three and that included the time I took for lunch. Yes there was some traveling and yes trying to find a spot to park was sometimes difficult but these things come with the territory.
On an amusing note, he's very proud of being A+ certified. To anybody in the industry, that's literally one of the certifications that nobody cares about. If you can build a PC and name all the parts, you're more than halfway there. Most people don't get it unless they're A) easily impressed or B) feel the more certifications they have after their name the more impressive they are.
Jazafras
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 15, 2014
Reading the dA comments for the latest installment of his Ultimate somethingsomethingwhatever, he previously had the sentence "She teasingly slaps him," which someone noted "This is not normal social interaction for someone you've just found on the ground".
And this makes me wonder how well TGK would do on social intelligence tests like this one, knowing he lacks empathy and all. Though he'd probably lie about his score if he gets something really low, knowing he's really competitive and egotistical about intelligence. Idk, it's just interesting for me to analyze how socially inept this guy is, so I kinda want to link him to social experiment studies like the one in this post...
And this makes me wonder how well TGK would do on social intelligence tests like this one, knowing he lacks empathy and all. Though he'd probably lie about his score if he gets something really low, knowing he's really competitive and egotistical about intelligence. Idk, it's just interesting for me to analyze how socially inept this guy is, so I kinda want to link him to social experiment studies like the one in this post...
- Joined
- Feb 4, 2013
I don't know what films you worked on, if they were non-union, but in general the actor's unions make sure extras get paid, and frankly more than they're worth.
Also, yes, generally speaking the interchangeable people with no talent aren't treated as well as the people with valuable skills. That's true everywhere. But the people at the bottom of the totem pole in every other industry in the universe are treated way worse than extras. A shitty extra on a half-assed TV movie is treated better and makes more money per hour than the manager at a retail store despite doing way easier work and less of it.
Name one extra that did "incredible work". The best possible job an extra can do is to take up space and not draw attention to themselves.
Jascoz
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2014
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Jascoz
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 25, 2014
UPDATES!!!
GK(Jay) has pretty much turned into a schizophrenic shrimp with constant talk of trolling plans and people "out to ruin his comic with false information/judgements as well as constant plans to push apart himself and Lisa(Lisa needs a lot of reassurance).". Lisa and GK are still as active as ever but have digressed from talking in the limelight to more private options KIK, Skype and other IM services where they can express their true love aka GK spending 2-3 hours a night trying to get Lisa to do weird shit over webcam, one request "It would be cute if you could get naked and hold a cat" Lisa doesn't have a cat to my knowledge which made it even weirder.
Trouble at work as well, word of GK notoriety got out and some of the lads at work posted around a web cap of him with his t-shirt of as well as copies of his comic for all to read, everything was soon taken down when he cried "workplace bullying". Also he's still know where near close to reaching his famed golden suit of amor, he's currently in a mass pound of debt due to credit card purchases which he's paying off slowly, think around 2-3k USD.
GK(Jay) has pretty much turned into a schizophrenic shrimp with constant talk of trolling plans and people "out to ruin his comic with false information/judgements as well as constant plans to push apart himself and Lisa(Lisa needs a lot of reassurance).". Lisa and GK are still as active as ever but have digressed from talking in the limelight to more private options KIK, Skype and other IM services where they can express their true love aka GK spending 2-3 hours a night trying to get Lisa to do weird shit over webcam, one request "It would be cute if you could get naked and hold a cat" Lisa doesn't have a cat to my knowledge which made it even weirder.
Trouble at work as well, word of GK notoriety got out and some of the lads at work posted around a web cap of him with his t-shirt of as well as copies of his comic for all to read, everything was soon taken down when he cried "workplace bullying". Also he's still know where near close to reaching his famed golden suit of amor, he's currently in a mass pound of debt due to credit card purchases which he's paying off slowly, think around 2-3k USD.
- Joined
- May 12, 2014
What does he even blow his money on? Gifts for Heather?? Or just video games? Certainly not good food, that's for sure. Honestly, with his skeletal frame I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out it was drugs
