Oh are we sperging about 13? Awesome.
Really the 13 franchise problems stem from the abrupt presentation and confusing terminology that you actually have to stop and learn. From a storytelling and lore standpoint I thought it was a lot more interesting then 15 and 16 combined. Admittedly Ive never played it, I only watched the cutscenes on youtube (I hate turn based, sue me) But it was an ambitious and interesting story they tried to tell.
It's not turn based, you only play as one character the other two are AI controlled.
I really love the characters, with a couple asterisks.
All the male characters actually have a chance to be interesting but are hindered in one way or another. Hope can be annoying as fuck and really angsty, but has a good character arc, and very wholesome relationship with Lightning. (he should have used her knife and not a boomerang) Sazh could be less comedic and maybe more of a voice of reason, considering he is a father, however he also has nothing to do for most of the game besides be the gangs personal chauffeur, (how progressive). Snow would be cooler if he had his Xiii-2 look, not the stupid bandanna, and also if he had more going on then "I luv my wife". Like he could be the games version of Barrett, complete with his own rag tag group, but instead he's just the loud dumb one.
The female characters save for Vanille are good. Vanille is a lot of really bad combinations. She's a knowing liar to pretty much the entire cast and her sickly sweet attitude makes it seem like she doesn't actually care that much. She inadvertently doomed Sazh's son for most of the game, and never tells him until they're both cornered by the military. Also her weapon is stupid.
The problem is that their "complicated plan" falls apart under any real scrutiny. The L'cie (who are all working together apparently, despite there being a nominal war between Pulse and Cocoon) decide to brand these six random people and give them a vague, hazy glimpse of what they want them to do, not actually explaining what they are supposed to accomplish or how to actually accomplish it. These six people who neither know, or trust each other, and have no idea what they are doing are supposed to complete the L'cie's grand plan, which they don't even know what that is. What's more, these individuals are at each other's throats almost immediately, nearly kill each other (or themselves) at various points, and could have died at any point. Barthandelus doesn't come out and just tell the characters what their supposed to do until 15 hours into the game after the cast just kinda wander around aimlessly in different directions. Of course, one must ask why Barthandelus didn't just brand any of his own loyal followers brainwashed into his cult and tell them to carry out Cocoon's destruction, since they would know what to do and actually see it through. Why use these random assholes who are not guaranteed to accomplish jack and shit?
What's more, once the main characters actually find out what they L'cie want them to do, they naturally say "Fuck you, we're not doing that" because of course they would. Cocoon is their home. Why would they destroy it (Lightning's bout of sociopathic nihilism notwithstanding)? Even more to the point, when Barthandelus faces them the second time and basically goads them to return to Cocoon and finish what they started, the main cast have to do to stop the villain's plans is refuse to do so, take turns eating Sazh's gun and shooting themselves, and the villains plans would fall apart instantly. Do they do that? No, they go back to Cocoon and do what the villains wanted them to do, dooming Cocoon, which is, by all rights, what should have happened, but the game pulls a Deus Ex Machina at the last minute to give a happy ending. Because Final Fantasy XIII is fucking retarded and everything about it is retarded. Barthandelus isn't even really an interesting villain, nor is he threatening, because the party literally kicks his every time they face him.
The big problem with the game is that they took the 10 approach of having a big twist and a really complex set of vague rules, and then ended up having to write around those things. Like 10 had vague rules that made no sense but it followed them, 13 has vague rules it never explains, and then it proceeds to break them in a way it never explains. And the villains have even less presence, and their plan is retarded. It's supposed to go with the theme of defying your fate or something, but it doesn't make any sense, especially with some of the ass pulls at the end. Instead of finding a new way of saving the day you do everything they tell you to, obeying your fate, and then last minute pull out a trump card that didn't even work the first time (being ragnarok).
Even more bizarre is that the main characters are Pulse fal'cie, meaning their mission doesn't make any sense. The only way to save cocoon is to destroy orphan, so why would the pulse fal'cie want to destroy it? Do they not know how the suicide vest mechanics of the planet work? Do they not know that ragnarok can turn lava into crystals? Do the cocoon fal'cie not know? Literally the only way they can accomplish anything they haven't been programmed to do is to triple dog dare some random human to do it for them.
At the end of the game during the attack on Eden, we even see the sanctum fal'cie turning random soldiers into l'cie, who then turn into sacrifice cie'th immediately. So a fal'cie can knowingly give a human a focus that they can fail almost instantly. Why do they need an attack from Pulse to destroy cocoon? Just have the crystal zombies do it. This sounds like Metal Gear Survive.
You know what would've been an interesting break from the formula? Have the final boss sequence be preventing Orphan from killing itself. The lore says it can't kill itself, just don't make that the rule, just make it so it's sleeping or something. Like the giant stupid Orphan wheel thing shows up and casts doom on itself, so it'll die in like two minutes, and you have to cast healing and buffs on it to bring its health back up. Like a reverse boss fight. Cause why not? That's defying fate isn't it?
Caius from 13-2 is a better villain, because his motivations and actions actually work with the theme of fate, and he is directly antagonistic in a way that doesn't feel like he needs to show up and explain the plot like el Barto does.
13-2 is a better game overall, barring a few mandatory segments that drag on. And I never played Lightning Returns.
At least the artwork throughout the series, and especially the
music is amazing. I am sad that this series will probably be buried and ignored by square, much like 8, and the people like me that are nostalgic for it can eat shit and buy the next spin off because lightning was in the trailer.