Culture The Couples Embracing the DINK Label - It's so much better to spend your money on yourself instead of on kids. In unrelated news, we need another million third-worlders to keep the economy strong.

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The ‘dual-income, no kids’ moniker is suddenly everywhere, and the lexicon has ballooned to include DINKWADs, SINKs and DINOs​

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ILLUSTRATION: CAM POLLACK/WSJ; ISTOCK (3)

By Julia Munslow
March 11, 2024 9:00 pm ET

Natalie and Keldon Fischer have no debt other than the mortgage from their Seattle condo, where they live with their Pomeranian, Noble. They each have six-figure salaries and hefty savings accounts. Last year, they traveled nearly every other month, including to Italy, Mexico, Thailand and Finland.

“I really enjoy being a DINK,” says Keldon, a 30-year-old software engineer.

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A round of dinks?

DINK, of course, stands for “dual income, no kids.” It isn’t new slang, but suddenly, vocal DINKs are everywhere as more couples like the Fischers not only embrace the label but boldly let their DINK flags fly.

“Being DINKs means we just have a lot of freedom, time and money,” says Natalie Fischer, 25, a full-time content creator. She’s open to having children, but is first focused on building a net worth of $1 million by age 30. “I know that once I have a kid I will have to assume a lot of the caregiving responsibility and work less.”

Videos touting the DINK lifestyle now rack up millions of views on TikTok and Instagram. Most feature married couples sending the message that they don’t have kids yet (so stop asking), possibly never will, and life is fantastic, thank you very much.

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Keldon and Natalie Fischer and their Pomeranian, Noble. PHOTO: NATALIE BETH FISCHER

Life as ‘DINKWADs’

The lexicon has ballooned to include DINKWADs (DINKs with a dog), SINKs (single-income, no kids). Some DINKs prefer “DINO,” for dual-income, no offspring.

There is even DINKY—for dual income, no kids, yet.

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TikTok (Archive)

The public pronouncements represent a shift, says Zachary P. Neal, a psychology professor at Michigan State University who studies child-free adults. Though not all DINKs are strictly child-free, as some may have kids later, he says there is overlap in the groups.

“It has been for a very long time a sort of stigmatized category,” says Neal. “There are all sorts of stereotypes—things like…they’re self-absorbed, they have no stake in the future, they’re too focused on their career.”

But these days, DINKs are leaning into the label, thanks in part to the snowball effect of social media, Neal says, where DINKs are finding safety in numbers. “As some people start to openly identify as child-free, it creates an environment more open and welcoming.”

In a 2021 Pew Research Center survey, 44% of non-parents ages 18 to 49 said they were not likely to have kids ever, up 7% since 2018. Reasons included economic obstacles, concerns about the state of the world and simply not wanting to. And many young adults who do want children are having them later in life than previous generations.

The recent vocal DINK-dom is also generating backlash.

On social media, parents argue they do much of what DINKs do, just with kids in tow. Internet commentators and comedians are using DINKs as material.

“Childless couples are even more annoying than the imaginary children they complain about not even having,” said Lewis Spears, an Australian comedian. “They don’t seem to do anything with their free time except make videos about how much free time they have.”

‘We go where the wind blows’

Brenton and Mirlanda Beaufils, both in their 30s, have been together for over a decade, and say that they’re often questioned about whether they plan to have children.

But they are not ready to give up the flexibility of the DINK lifestyle.

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Mirlanda and Brenton Beaufils on a cruise in Italy in May 2023. PHOTO: MIRLANDA BEAUFILS

On a trip to Las Vegas, for instance, they partied poolside, dined at the renowned Nobu restaurant, visited casinos and totally lost track of time and went to bed after 5 a.m.

And when Brenton, who is 32 and works in property management, was offered a new job that started in two weeks in another city, the couple made the move—from Boston to Dallas—happen in one week.

“We go where the wind blows,” says Mirlanda, a 30-year-old real-estate agent. “We love that about our relationship.”

In Dallas, they’re closer to Mirlanda’s sisters, including Preciana Prinstil, 29, who often jokingly wonders when Mirlanda will give her children some cousins.

“I want her to feel the love of kids and how they bring joy,” says Prinstil. “Even though they can be a headache.”

Others in the couples’ orbit are also curious. Beaufil, who wants to be a mom one day, but isn’t in a rush, has a stock retort. “I’m like, ‘Oh, you guys ready to babysit for us? If you can’t answer that question, then stop.’ ”

Free to give mom a car

When Norelle Marquez was younger, she imagined having children at around age 24 or 25. But lately, the 26-year-old hasn’t seen them in her future.

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Robert and Norelle Marquez. PHOTO: LEJEUNE PHOTOGRAPHY

Norelle, a professional photographer, and her husband Robert Marquez, a 28-year-old Marine Corps service member, have no debt, and stick to a firm budget for their Dallas household. “It’s fairly easy being DINKs,” says Robert.

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Norelle appreciates that DINK life allows her to provide for family, including her mother, who raised her and her brother as a single parent. She has given her mother a new washer and dryer, house floors, an almost new Toyota RAV4 and more.

The couple posted a video on TikTok about the benefits and quirks of being DINKs, such as, “When we tell people we’re going to Disneyland on vacation, they think we’re weirdos.” It drew nearly 4,000 commenters, including some critics, but many declaring themselves DINKs.

“That TikTok has solidified my feelings about being a DINK and knowing that it’s OK,” says Norelle. “Family doesn’t have to be bloodline,” Robert adds.
Ultimately, whether to have children is a decision that can evolve, says Holly Hummer, a Harvard University Ph.D. candidate who studies women without children.

“We’re all sort of a SINK or a DINK for a portion of our lives,” she says.

Source (Archive)
 
As much as I think the trend is retarded, looking at most of their faces, the name DINK suits them.
 
“There are all sorts of stereotypes—things like…they’re self-absorbed, they have no stake in the future, they’re too focused on their career.”
And these tiktoks are supposed to change my mind?
 
I hate the assumption that you can't do anything with your life if you have a kid. Makes it harder, but not impossible. My ex and I have traveled with our daughter all over the US, including AK and HI. We've taken her to France, Germany, Switzerland, Austria, Denmark, Italy, Canada. We owned a house and had no debt. I just look at these articles where they are trying to flex on breeders and I am like, yeah, I did all that too with a kid. Your point being?
 
DINKs have been around for several decades now.

I respect their choice not to have kids. Being a parent, least one worthy of the name, means you must live beyond yourself and always put the child's needs first. You must be an adult to be a good parent. The DINKS we see here are just superannuated children. Better for a child not to be born than to be born to a DINK couple, then always be blamed as the reason the parents can't travel/party/shop like they used to.

Being a parent doesn't necessarily mean you'll have kids who will help you or take care of you in times of sickness or old age. But being a DINK means you had better have some sort of long-term care policy, because rest assured those nephews and nieces will not take your asses in.
 
Nobody will be watching 40 and 50 year olds making TikToks about how they still don’t have any kids lol you’d think if they were so firm in their convictions they wouldn’t need the validation of the yoot 🤔
 
DINKs are pure cope to deal with the reality of having a normal, traditional family is all but unattainable for more and more people.
Traditional family is still possible, you just have to give up the frivolous selfish spending, an impossible task for these people.
 
Traditional family is still possible, you just have to give up the frivolous selfish spending, an impossible task for these people.
Their choice but they still need a good punch in their smug faces. Well also just for being on fucking TikTok as an adult in the first place.
 
Last year, they traveled nearly every other month, including to Italy, Mexico, Thailand and Finland.
I honestly think at this point that I hate pathological lifestyle-"travellers" more than Marvel and Funko addicts. At the scale of doing it constantly, both are just avenues for consoooooooooming, but at least Funko collectors usually don't pretend that their hyperconsumption serves any kind of higher spiritual fulfillment, or smugly talk down to people that don't share their lifestyle. Nearly every single antinatalist I've seen online uses the argument "you have the stress of kids but I have so much money and time for travelling, I've travelled and seen the world seven gorillion times this year already", as if spending every waking moment planning schedules, booking transport, sitting in airports and being shuttled around like cattle isn't a greater source of mental load and stress than a happy, quiet life raising a child. Or just take the kid with you, like @Blobby's Murder Knife said.
 
If you don't want kids you shouldn't have them. But I feel like a lot of these people posting about it are just attention whores. No one cares that you don't want kids. Go take a cruise or something and shut up.
 
It does seem like Gen Z and the Millennials just refuse to grow up and accept the responsibilities of adulthood. They just want to play forever, forget kids, forget building something for the future just indulge in daily hedonism until the reaper comes calling.

Societies prosper only when men plant trees who shade they will never enjoy. The current year types are so busy chopping down those tree's just to cling to childhood for a few more desperate years.
 
My son is so fucking awesome and the idea that I might have missed out knowing him to save a few grand and travel a bit more seems like a deeply poor trade. I'm going to raise him to be a good man, and when I am old and frail and he is strong and successful, he'll thank me for the wonderful life he lives, just like I thank my own parents every time I see them. I'll die knowing he lives his life well and my hard work will echo into the future.

I really wish people could see further than the latest digital distraction or package holiday, and look to the future where they have nothing more than television, bingo and being victims of scammers. Suffer the burden of hard work, or suffer the burden of regret.
 
Not everything has to be a fucking identity. I swear to god Nietzsche gets confirmed harder every day

I've got a vasectomy and never want kids but it's not my fucking identity. I'm just a dude who made his choices trying to live my life

Your favourite flavour of ice cream isn't your identity unless you're a dumb teenager
 
Norelle appreciates that DINK life allows her to provide for family, including her mother, who raised her and her brother as a single parent. She has given her mother a new washer and dryer, house floors, an almost new Toyota RAV4 and more.
I'm pretty sure these gifts are absolute shite in comparison to giving her a grandchild. I know plenty of people, they all want grandchildren from their sons/daughters.

These couples will last as long as their sex probably does. It makes me wonder if these fucks have ever taken care of a seed and grown it into an adult plant, the reward of taking care of something and seeing it bloom not only a great fucking pleasure to see but it's not instant, which might be the problem.

It's like they think buying the newest model of some shitty appliance is comparable to the growth of a living being.
 
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