Culture The Couples Embracing the DINK Label - It's so much better to spend your money on yourself instead of on kids. In unrelated news, we need another million third-worlders to keep the economy strong.

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The ‘dual-income, no kids’ moniker is suddenly everywhere, and the lexicon has ballooned to include DINKWADs, SINKs and DINOs​

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ILLUSTRATION: CAM POLLACK/WSJ; ISTOCK (3)

By Julia Munslow
March 11, 2024 9:00 pm ET

Natalie and Keldon Fischer have no debt other than the mortgage from their Seattle condo, where they live with their Pomeranian, Noble. They each have six-figure salaries and hefty savings accounts. Last year, they traveled nearly every other month, including to Italy, Mexico, Thailand and Finland.

“I really enjoy being a DINK,” says Keldon, a 30-year-old software engineer.

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A round of dinks?

DINK, of course, stands for “dual income, no kids.” It isn’t new slang, but suddenly, vocal DINKs are everywhere as more couples like the Fischers not only embrace the label but boldly let their DINK flags fly.

“Being DINKs means we just have a lot of freedom, time and money,” says Natalie Fischer, 25, a full-time content creator. She’s open to having children, but is first focused on building a net worth of $1 million by age 30. “I know that once I have a kid I will have to assume a lot of the caregiving responsibility and work less.”

Videos touting the DINK lifestyle now rack up millions of views on TikTok and Instagram. Most feature married couples sending the message that they don’t have kids yet (so stop asking), possibly never will, and life is fantastic, thank you very much.

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Keldon and Natalie Fischer and their Pomeranian, Noble. PHOTO: NATALIE BETH FISCHER

Life as ‘DINKWADs’

The lexicon has ballooned to include DINKWADs (DINKs with a dog), SINKs (single-income, no kids). Some DINKs prefer “DINO,” for dual-income, no offspring.

There is even DINKY—for dual income, no kids, yet.

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TikTok (Archive)

The public pronouncements represent a shift, says Zachary P. Neal, a psychology professor at Michigan State University who studies child-free adults. Though not all DINKs are strictly child-free, as some may have kids later, he says there is overlap in the groups.

“It has been for a very long time a sort of stigmatized category,” says Neal. “There are all sorts of stereotypes—things like…they’re self-absorbed, they have no stake in the future, they’re too focused on their career.”

But these days, DINKs are leaning into the label, thanks in part to the snowball effect of social media, Neal says, where DINKs are finding safety in numbers. “As some people start to openly identify as child-free, it creates an environment more open and welcoming.”

In a 2021 Pew Research Center survey, 44% of non-parents ages 18 to 49 said they were not likely to have kids ever, up 7% since 2018. Reasons included economic obstacles, concerns about the state of the world and simply not wanting to. And many young adults who do want children are having them later in life than previous generations.

The recent vocal DINK-dom is also generating backlash.

On social media, parents argue they do much of what DINKs do, just with kids in tow. Internet commentators and comedians are using DINKs as material.

“Childless couples are even more annoying than the imaginary children they complain about not even having,” said Lewis Spears, an Australian comedian. “They don’t seem to do anything with their free time except make videos about how much free time they have.”

‘We go where the wind blows’

Brenton and Mirlanda Beaufils, both in their 30s, have been together for over a decade, and say that they’re often questioned about whether they plan to have children.

But they are not ready to give up the flexibility of the DINK lifestyle.

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Mirlanda and Brenton Beaufils on a cruise in Italy in May 2023. PHOTO: MIRLANDA BEAUFILS

On a trip to Las Vegas, for instance, they partied poolside, dined at the renowned Nobu restaurant, visited casinos and totally lost track of time and went to bed after 5 a.m.

And when Brenton, who is 32 and works in property management, was offered a new job that started in two weeks in another city, the couple made the move—from Boston to Dallas—happen in one week.

“We go where the wind blows,” says Mirlanda, a 30-year-old real-estate agent. “We love that about our relationship.”

In Dallas, they’re closer to Mirlanda’s sisters, including Preciana Prinstil, 29, who often jokingly wonders when Mirlanda will give her children some cousins.

“I want her to feel the love of kids and how they bring joy,” says Prinstil. “Even though they can be a headache.”

Others in the couples’ orbit are also curious. Beaufil, who wants to be a mom one day, but isn’t in a rush, has a stock retort. “I’m like, ‘Oh, you guys ready to babysit for us? If you can’t answer that question, then stop.’ ”

Free to give mom a car

When Norelle Marquez was younger, she imagined having children at around age 24 or 25. But lately, the 26-year-old hasn’t seen them in her future.

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Robert and Norelle Marquez. PHOTO: LEJEUNE PHOTOGRAPHY

Norelle, a professional photographer, and her husband Robert Marquez, a 28-year-old Marine Corps service member, have no debt, and stick to a firm budget for their Dallas household. “It’s fairly easy being DINKs,” says Robert.

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Norelle appreciates that DINK life allows her to provide for family, including her mother, who raised her and her brother as a single parent. She has given her mother a new washer and dryer, house floors, an almost new Toyota RAV4 and more.

The couple posted a video on TikTok about the benefits and quirks of being DINKs, such as, “When we tell people we’re going to Disneyland on vacation, they think we’re weirdos.” It drew nearly 4,000 commenters, including some critics, but many declaring themselves DINKs.

“That TikTok has solidified my feelings about being a DINK and knowing that it’s OK,” says Norelle. “Family doesn’t have to be bloodline,” Robert adds.
Ultimately, whether to have children is a decision that can evolve, says Holly Hummer, a Harvard University Ph.D. candidate who studies women without children.

“We’re all sort of a SINK or a DINK for a portion of our lives,” she says.

Source (Archive)
 
DINKs have been around for several decades now.

I respect their choice not to have kids. Being a parent, least one worthy of the name, means you must live beyond yourself and always put the child's needs first. You must be an adult to be a good parent. The DINKS we see here are just superannuated children. Better for a child not to be born than to be born to a DINK couple, then always be blamed as the reason the parents can't travel/party/shop like they used to.

Being a parent doesn't necessarily mean you'll have kids who will help you or take care of you in times of sickness or old age. But being a DINK means you had better have some sort of long-term care policy, because rest assured those nephews and nieces will not take your asses in.

This idea of needing some long term insurance plan is retarded anyway. I work in healthcare and most of the 70+ population I encounter have a minimum of 5 long term health conditions (and if they're lucky only one of them is incontinence) and generally suicidal. Sure there's exceptions but they're fucking rare, I'd advise anyone planning to get to 7 or 8 decades to take a look at pressure sores, because they're almost uniformly a reality. I dunno what's wrong with just having 50-60 good years and going out on your own terms while you're still able to walk and eat and piss and shit for yourself

Honestly most of our 80-90 year olds are waiting impatiently for death
 
I like how they brag about world travel and going on cruise ships, but never seem to have passion for a specific memory of an event outside of "I drank mimosas in Italy." It all comes off as vapid bragging, but I guess that's par for the course for social media. Still, they don't make it seem very appealing.

No one can ever convince me a cruise ship is anything but a miserable experience.
 
I like how they brag about world travel and going on cruise ships, but never seem to have passion for a specific memory of an event outside of "I drank mimosas in Italy." It all comes off as vapid bragging, but I guess that's par for the course for social media. Still, they don't make it seem very appealing.

No one can ever convince me a cruise ship is anything but a miserable experience.
From what I've seen a lot of them don't even travel. They talk like they have but in reality they're talking about what they hope to do one day.
 
DINK has two meanings now Chinese man and obnoxious inner city cunt.

Admittedly i don't want children ever, the thought of raising them with future curry niggers and Somalian shit with future trannies trying to groom them is horrifying add on the crippling cost it just seems impossible to have a kid.
 
I like how they brag about world travel and going on cruise ships, but never seem to have passion for a specific memory of an event outside of "I drank mimosas in Italy." It all comes off as vapid bragging, but I guess that's par for the course for social media. Still, they don't make it seem very appealing.

No one can ever convince me a cruise ship is anything but a miserable experience.
Cruise ships are vacations for people who want to do the absolute bare minimum of thinking about the logistics of their vacation. Go on a big water hotel that moves itself, and drink yourself stupid until you all show up all at once at some carribean island port like an alien spaceship. And also most likely spend most of your time surrounded by classless chinese noveau riche tourists because they love cruise ships.
 
I guess I was a DINK until a few years ago, wife and I were focused on saving money and enjoying our free time together. I figured that was normal for most couples, enjoy your 20s until you are ready to settle down. Guess everything needs a fancy acronym now.

A lot of the people in this article are in their 20s, would be interested to hear from a woman whos mid 30s and childless. I bet they wont have the same things to say.
 
Not everything has to be a fucking identity. I swear to god Nietzsche gets confirmed harder every day

I've got a vasectomy and never want kids but it's not my fucking identity. I'm just a dude who made his choices trying to live my life

Your favourite flavour of ice cream isn't your identity unless you're a dumb teenager
I keep trying to get my tubes tied but they wont let me. Im approaching the age where any kid I had is having a higher and higher chance of coming out microwaved due to my stale eggs but nope they dont trust that I wont change my mind (or my husband wont change it for me). Anyway, I dont get why everything seems to be an argument. Kids, no kids, youll regret it! Youre selfish! My life is better than yours! All so dumb. Just live your life

A lot of the people in this article are in their 20s, would be interested to hear from a woman whos mid 30s and childless. I bet they wont have the same things to say.
@CHARizard hello, I am approaching that and childless by choice. Personally Ive never felt more strong than now about not having kids. Each year I am more and more sure and Ive been 'sure' since I was a teen. To each their own though, Id never berate anyone for having kids just because I chose not to.
 
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DINKs are pure cope to deal with the reality of having a normal, traditional family is all but unattainable for more and more people.
It was not unobtainable. It's never unobtainable. The reality is, they love their creature comforts more than they love their prospective children. The more and more I hear "We can't afford kids", the more tired of it I am. Your great grandparents raised your grandmother and grandfather with far less than you have today and did just fine.
 
Personally Ive never felt more strong than now about not having kids. Each year I am more and more sure and Ive been 'sure' since I was a teen. To each their own though, Id never berate anyone for having kids just because I chose not to.
You won't be saying that in 20 years when you're shitting your pants and have no one to help you. The reality is when you're old, family is all you have left. People like to think they'll have friends forever but the reality is the friends you have will be dead or dying themselves. The reality is you won't have anyone to help you. Life as a senior citizen without kids is Hell.
 
Is the first example even a dink?
She’s open to having children, but is first focused on building a net worth of $1 million by age 30. “I know that once I have a kid I will have to assume a lot of the caregiving responsibility and work less.”
The use of "once" suggests they are planning it and just want to actually have the funds to account for reduced income when it happens and there's additional parental responsibilities meaning fewer work hours.
 
Anyway, I dont get why everything seems to be an argument. Kids, no kids, youll regret it! Youre selfish! My life is better than yours! All so dumb. Just live your life
On one level I agree. All children should be loved and wanted and some people don’t want to raise them, some would be terrible parents and some just don’t want to. That is fine.
What bothers me is the promotion of it and the demonisation of family life. If someone doesn’t want to have kids that’s fine, it’s their choice and society really doesn’t shun you for it no matter how many articles people publish shrieking about pressure. It’s the flip side of it that bothers me. The way it feeds into the narrative that childless is cooler and better, children ruin your life and body etc.
Family is how the species gets continued. Society can and always has managed with a small proportion who don’t or can’t breed but for it to become the dominant and desired mode seems to me to be a sick society. A few who don’t want to breed in a society that mainly dies isn’t the same as a society where no one wants to have kids
I’m not explaining myself well, but I’m trying to say that as an individual choice it’s fine but as a default ‘this is great’ option promoted by the state and media it’s not
 
On one level I agree. All children should be loved and wanted and some people don’t want to raise them, some would be terrible parents and some just don’t want to. That is fine.
What bothers me is the promotion of it and the demonisation of family life. If someone doesn’t want to have kids that’s fine, it’s their choice and society really doesn’t shun you for it no matter how many articles people publish shrieking about pressure. It’s the flip side of it that bothers me. The way it feeds into the narrative that childless is cooler and better, children ruin your life and body etc.
Family is how the species gets continued. Society can and always has managed with a small proportion who don’t or can’t breed but for it to become the dominant and desired mode seems to me to be a sick society. A few who don’t want to breed in a society that mainly dies isn’t the same as a society where no one wants to have kids
I’m not explaining myself well, but I’m trying to say that as an individual choice it’s fine but as a default ‘this is great’ option promoted by the state and media it’s not
Plenty of you right-wingers demonize not having kids (the whole "traditional family values" does that). You are fine with that. How is it any worse to demonize not having kids vs having kids? Is it because you right-wingers want your old fashioned "family values" and are upset that some people don't feel the same way?
 
Having kids is awesome and one of the most rewarding experiences I've gone through.

If you don't want to have kids then fine. But I hate how every one of these retards think they get any input into how others kids should be raised.
 
On one level I agree. All children should be loved and wanted and some people don’t want to raise them, some would be terrible parents and some just don’t want to. That is fine.
What bothers me is the promotion of it and the demonisation of family life. If someone doesn’t want to have kids that’s fine, it’s their choice and society really doesn’t shun you for it no matter how many articles people publish shrieking about pressure. It’s the flip side of it that bothers me. The way it feeds into the narrative that childless is cooler and better, children ruin your life and body etc.
Family is how the species gets continued. Society can and always has managed with a small proportion who don’t or can’t breed but for it to become the dominant and desired mode seems to me to be a sick society. A few who don’t want to breed in a society that mainly dies isn’t the same as a society where no one wants to have kids
I’m not explaining myself well, but I’m trying to say that as an individual choice it’s fine but as a default ‘this is great’ option promoted by the state and media it’s not
No I think you explained yourself very well and actually I think you said better what I was initially trying to explain. The demonization of having children/ not having children and the childfree lifestyle 'look at me I am better than screaming toddlers' promotion is retarded. Some people dont want kids, most people do. I think there may be some deep dormant genetic evolutionary advantage to that- the whole 'it takes a villiage' thing and all. How could I be helping my 90 year old grandma as well as my partner's 90 year old grandma, my brother's kids, my mom and dad, etc as much as I am able if I had to raise a kid of my own? Family is very important and I think that does get lost in our society these days, but I think family can be priority while also not being defined as just your own direct offspring. Id be a terrible parent and genuinely dont want to be one, but I am very happy with my other familial roles and glad I can step in. It isnt that, just because I dont want kids, I have abandoned my neices and nephews, brother, grandparents, mom, dad, neighbors etc lol. People in general seem to get that idea sometimes and I am not sure why. (And yeah Ive seen people in my family look like they were 1 incident away from death by being exhausted with handling their kids, yet say constantly how much they love their kids/face lights up talking about their kids etc and I fully believe most people get a highly fulfilling experience raising their kids despite difficulites doing so)
 
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How could I be helping my 90 year old grandma as well as my partner's 90 year old grandma, my brother's kids, my mom and dad, etc as much as I am able if I had to raise a kid of my own? Family is very important and I think that does get lost in our society these days, but I think family can be priority while also not being defined as just your own direct offspring
There’s a species of bird called the Seychelles warbler that engages in a similar strategy and is well studied. The siblings aunts and uncles assist at the nest - this increases the success of the babies and as the aunts and uncles etc are related to the babies their genes are still passed on. Not directly, via their own offspring but indirectly because they are x% genetically similar to the offspring or their relatives.
Helping family is vital.
 
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