The Cole Smithey Thread

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Skeletor said:
Cole’s kind of a silly douche but considering the starting hand he was dealt in life, he’s doing okay for himself.
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Growing up with this carnival of horrors in your background, and always leeching into your life at every moment no matter what you do or how far you distance yourself from it-- dude has exceeded all nominal expectations. Imagine the turmoil of your background family life being this shit, managing to escape it with only the most minor of personality defects (BEIN' A DICK), and then finding out your half brother who has legitimately become some kind of internet based trash-demon that haunts every dark corner of the web and your life on a semi-regular basis raped his fucking mom.

Dude must be straight up immune to psychic damage at this point. I just don't know. I have no idea, no POSSIBLE way of empathizing with this situation. I cannot IMAGINE the psychological harm, the emotional distress, it's beyond normal human experiences. If I was Cole, I would never in my life no matter what speak to or be involved with any of these people for any reason. But even if your family is fucking Barb and Chris, your family is still important on some level. I don't know. Shit is wild. I have nothing but sympathy for Cole at this point.
 
A thousand weens are emailing Cole right now telling him his lolcow half-brother has been fucking his mom, idk how anyone deals with that kind of shit.
 
well considering as the news blew up the internet I don't think Cole will exactly be able to not notice it now, I cant help but wonder how he will take it, he clearly did not like barb but she is still his mom and it seemed he does have some care for Chris (or at least once did) so this will probably hit a bit hard, it will also probably hit hard with the fact that Chris is more popular than Cole and always will be despite how big Cole's ego is along with his desire to stand out by even doing dumb shit like posting negative reviews of good movies to be different.
 
I think Cole is looking into changing his last name right now. I know I would if something like this happened in my family. Especially if the family member is as Internet Famous as Chris-chan.
 
Seeing all that had gone down. Cole got out of a horrible situation, overcome all that, got married and have a stable income to maintain his own lifestyle. He might not be anything outstanding and a narcissistic prick, but compare to his brother, Cole ended up alright.
 
Pvt. Real G said:
Seeing all that had gone down. Cole got out of a horrible situation, overcome all that, got married and have a stable income to maintain his own lifestyle. He might not be anything outstanding and a narcissistic prick, but compare to his brother, Cole ended up alright.
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He seems to be just living a NYC yuppie life following his passions with his family. Yeah, he's pretentious and a douche but he isn't hurting anyone.

Cole left Barb as soon as he turned 18 and mentioned that her and Bob ruined whatever relationship they did have. Apparently he tried to contact her when Bob died but I'm thinking that she just tried to get money out of him so he noped out.
 
ubunr9kpkk69c4ex said:
He'll care in the sense of being disgusted and angry but he won't do anything about it unless the law compels him.
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Oh, I bet he'd love being hauled to court as a character witness.

"So Mr. Smitty-"

"Smithey."

"Your honor, that's all the character we need."
 
Vapid_Idiot said:
You can downvote me all you want, but I am starting to feel genuinely sorry for Cole. He did his best to escape his past, and be his own person, and this crazy shit just keeps happening. I hope he can move on and find peace.
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I can’t stand the douche, but yeah, I couldn’t even imagine what it would be like to find out something this horrific about your immediate family,

I hope he just stays in his happy little bubble far away from that trash fire with a completely clear conscience. I think he deserves it.
 
I think if there's ever going to be a time for Cole to step in now would be the time. He's clearly open to at least reconciling with Barb given that he sent her flowers, Surely the cops tried to contact him. What are the chances at the very least that Cole extends the no contact order on behalf of Barb? I think Barb will tell Cole whatever he wants to hear, regardless of how lucid she is. It'd be perfect karmic justice for Barb to reconcile with Cole, and she passes away with Chris not even being aware of it.
 
Orkeosaurus said:
I think if there's ever going to be a time for Cole to step in now would be the time. He's clearly open to at least reconciling with Barb given that he sent her flowers,
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I think that was a troll. Cole has gone no contact.

There is really nothing Cole can offer except a character witness against Barb. He may do that as a final fuck you.
 
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"Hey Cole, heard you didn't like my movie. So I had a little chat with your half-brother, hope his non-fiction rendition of Oedipus Rex might suit your tastes better, eh partner?"
 
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