The Cole Smithey Thread

[Terrorist]

POV: You've gained access to The Halls of Kino and Nectar. Treasures beyond your wildest imagination, such as a greasy Blockbuster copy of To Live and Die in LA from 2007, await.

 

[AnOminous]

POV: You've gained access to The Halls of Kino and Nectar. Treasures beyond your wildest imagination, such as a greasy Blockbuster copy of To Live and Die in LA from 2007, await.
View attachment 2262614

I wonder how many hours he spent arranging those shelves for maximum appearance of IQ and cinema nerdness.

Cemetery Man is a nice choice though.

 

[Terrorist]

I wonder how many hours he spent arranging those shelves for maximum appearance of IQ and cinema nerdness.

Cemetery Man is a nice choice though.

I kinda want that John Cassavetes collection tbh

 

[Skeletor]

Wow that dude wears a jaunty straw hat indoors like a classy motherfucker.

 

[Master Miller]

Wow that dude wears a jaunty straw hat indoors like a classy motherfucker.

To be fair his "smartest film critic" mind isn't exactly well insulated.

I'm still amused that Cole and Chris live each other's dreams. Cole is kept by a wife whilst he plays pretend and Chris spouts shit online and has a cult following... and plays pretend.

 

[The Cunting Death]

To be fair his "smartest film critic" mind isn't exactly well insulated.

I'm still amused that Cole and Chris live each other's dreams. Cole is kept by a wife whilst he plays pretend and Chris spouts shit online and has a cult following... and plays pretend.

They both definitely have their moms narcissism

 

[A Flying Nun]

They both definitely have their moms narcissism

My favorite part is that I'd imagine Cole's narcissism is probably fueled by being more successful than the rest of his family, which is a ridiculously low bar, and hell even that is up for debate.

 

[AnOminous]

My favorite part is that I'd imagine Cole's narcissism is probably fueled by being more successful than the rest of his family, which is a ridiculously low bar, and hell even that is up for debate.

No he isn't, he's literally a dude whose wife supports him. Even Chris is more successful than this faggot.

 

[TheRedBaron]

ahh yes the world's smartest film critic who honestly reviews movies worse than I could, is he still aware of the continuing antics of Chris and Barb or has he given up and moved on?

 

[Cedric_Eff]

No he isn't, he's literally a dude whose wife supports him. Even Chris is more successful than this faggot.

Money wise? Cole is a little bit better off than Chris. Fame wise tho, Chris is way more famous by a long shot.

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

While I feel for and completely empathize with Cole when it comes to living/dealing with emotionally abusive and delusional family members (something I have personally dealt with), he seems extremely full of himself and gives off some douchebag vibes.

I agree. He gives off definite ironic hipster nutsack vibes.

 

[biozeminadae1]

POV: You've gained access to The Halls of Kino and Nectar. Treasures beyond your wildest imagination, such as a greasy Blockbuster copy of To Live and Die in LA from 2007, await.
View attachment 2262614

Fargo is overrated garbage.

 

[Hex Cat]

Just a reminder Cole was the first person to dislike Lady Bird and ruin its 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes.

bruh moment

 

[Googie dot com]

Yeah, Cole has a habit of doing that *cough* Toy Story 3 *cough* sorry allergies.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

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bruh moment

did he not get invited to the film's press junket/screening?

 

[Mussi]

No he isn't, he's literally a dude whose wife supports him. Even Chris is more successful than this faggot.

Nah, Cole is living Chris' dream of being supported by his wife while doing jackshit. He's like Chris if his Love Quest panned out how he pictured in 2007.

 

[DeeCeeBees]

I wish there was a sitcom where Cole and Chris are roomates. Like an Odd Couple remake or something. I could write a thousand episodes and never run out of material.

 

[Altera]

I've always wondered if the abuse Cole talks about had to do with massive Parentification. Has Cole ever clarified what exactly he aledges barb and bob did to him?

 

[DeeCeeBees]

I've always wondered if the abuse Cole talks about had to do with massive Parentification. Has Cole ever clarified what exactly he aledges barb and bob did to him?

They made Cole have sex with Barb and impregnate her. In a shocking revelation, Cole is actually Chris’s father.

 

[Doubledeckercheese]

They made Cole have sex with Barb and impregnate her. In a shocking revelation, Cole is actually Chris’s father.

That would explain at least half of Chris's current problems