The Cole Smithey Thread

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Slowinthemind said:
We only have Coles word on that, he seems the type to make shit up or exaggerate in order to gain sympathy. Then again we all know what Barb is like....
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Cole is just as much of a narcissist as Chris or Barb. He plays up the “muh abusive childhood” bullshit as a way of giving himself character. Why a man raised in poverty would pursue useless art degrees is beyond me. There’s definitely a trend of the Weston family members believing they’ve got more talent then they actually possess.
 
DeeCeeBees said:
From the CWCki I learned that Cole occasionally auctions off the honor of drinking shitty beer with him on eBay. I wonder if there is a disclaimer that there is to be no discussion about the Snorlax or the Manchild.
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That would literally be the only reason anyone would want to take him up on that offer. Considering we haven’t gotten much testimony as to how he feels about his half-brother in recent years, it’d at least be insightful to see what his take is on Chris’s delusions and tomgirl antics. He’d refuse, obviously. Makes me wonder how this guy makes his money— does he actually get revenue from being a D-list film critic or does he do a lot of side gigs? Dude strikes me as the adjunct community college philosophy professor type.
 
Argh My Cigar said:
That would literally be the only reason anyone would want to take him up on that offer. Considering we haven’t gotten much testimony as to how he feels about his half-brother in recent years, it’d at least be insightful to see what his take is on Chris’s delusions and tomgirl antics. He’d refuse, obviously. Makes me wonder how this guy makes his money— does he actually get revenue from being a D-list film critic or does he do a lot of side gigs? Dude strikes me as the adjunct community college philosophy professor type.
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From what the CWCki says, his wife owns the bar. His life isn’t much different from the one Chris wanted for himself. Indulging in his own ego masturbating fantasy world while his spouse makes all the money.
 
DeeCeeBees said:
From the CWCki I learned that Cole occasionally auctions off the honor of drinking shitty beer with him on eBay. I wonder if there is a disclaimer that there is to be no discussion about the Snorlax or the Manchild.
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Chris should actually do that. Just auction off having him appear at birthdays or social gatherings, and they have to pay for his travel and food too. I bet he'd be more successful than Cole.

Who the fuck would pay to drink hipster beer with some hipster douchebag nobody?
 
AnOminous said:
Chris should actually do that. Just auction off having him appear at birthdays or social gatherings, and they have to pay for his travel and food too. I bet he'd be more successful than Cole.

Who the fuck would pay to drink hipster beer with some hipster douchebag nobody?
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I'd rather drink with Chris and I mean that.
 
Spooky Bones said:
I'd rather drink with Chris and I mean that.
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OMG so would I. I'd love to get him absolutely pisstanked and THEN ask him the questions we all want to know the answers to, because as one of those ol' smarty-pants Romans said: In Vino, Veritas. :drink: Hoist!
 
AnOminous said:
Chris should actually do that. Just auction off having him appear at birthdays or social gatherings, and they have to pay for his travel and food too. I bet he'd be more successful than Cole.

Who the fuck would pay to drink hipster beer with some hipster douchebag nobody?
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Chris wouldn't show up, and if he did, he'd stay for 5 minutes, get bored, and leave.

It'd still be better than with Cole, though.
 
Misaki Nakahara said:
A terminally lonely, elderly, homosexual alcoholic with a fetish for bald men and a love of pretentious art films?
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Cole looks like if Uncle Fester's ballsack mutated into a face. There's gotta be some deviant out there thinking "yeah, I'd smash that..."

His current wife doesn't count. I get the feeling she only throws him a pity fuck on his birthday.
 
To be honest Cole just seems like the most pitiable prick online. He releases pompous, sesquipedalian reviews of films he half paid attention to, and gives them a middling score. He claims to be "the smartest film critic in the world" while mostly missing the fucking point of whatever he's watching.

Saddest of all is that his brother gets more views on a video of him screeching and saying profoundly idiotic things than Cole gets in in all his reviews combined,
 
Hogar Grupal said:
I guess Cole can change his feelings towards Bob (I think Barb would be the same). Can Chris change his feelings toward Snyder? My guess is that despite everything, Chris stills harbors the belief that Mike Snyder is still involved in the conspiracy to demean Chris.
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Quite honestly, I don't even think Chris actually remembers Mike Snyder at this point and I highly doubt either Snyder or The Game Place have entered his mind in a very long time.

Even before the Game Place went completely under, he went from blaming Snyder for the trolls to blaming Megan of all people as some sort of "Troll Queen" with people like Snyder as her lackeys and that was years ago, it may have even been before the fire or him going from mere tomgirl to full-blown troon.
 
ANobody said:
To be honest Cole just seems like the most pitiable prick online. He releases pompous, sesquipedalian reviews of films he half paid attention to, and gives them a middling score. He claims to be "the smartest film critic in the world" while mostly missing the fucking point of whatever he's watching.

Saddest of all is that his brother gets more views on a video of him screeching and saying profoundly idiotic things than Cole gets in in all his reviews combined,
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Years ago, Cole’s pompous, poorly written bullshit was published in my town’s alt-weekly. I remember very distinctly him giving a positive review to Final Destination 3 because it was a brilliant metaphor for the Iraq War.

Every time I think that his brother’s tard rages are more beloved than Cole’s “best” “work”, I get a little shiver of joy.
 
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