The Cole Smithey Thread

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The handsome tard said:
To be honest, I see Cole as your average angry "edgy" sarcastic critic type you see every-fucking-where on the internet nowadays, except the difference is that it isnt a character he plays but rather who he is in real life. Chris may be incapable of socializing for countless reasons but Cole cant because he is a democrat cunt (a liberal cur if you will).
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A 2000's liberal, if you will.

The handsome tard said:
The Chad "Republican Cur" Bob vs The Virgin "Liberal Cuck" Cole
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That quote "Republican Cur" really got me. Shows you how brilliant he is with his wordsmithing.

Also, I can't be the only one who confuses Cole Smithey with Cinema Snob now and again.
 
Father Jack said:
Cole has a new website where you can book him to play Bossa Nova music:

Cozy Cole - SOLO BOSSA NOVA GUITARIST

Cozy Cole Bossa Nova Guitar. Cozy Cole is available to play classic songs from the Bossa Nova canon at your next New York City function.
www.cozycole.com www.cozycole.com

Anyone else think Cozy Cole sounds like the name of a rapey clown?
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Damn it. I was enjoying that Coke I spat all over my monitor.

On topic, though, I'm listening to the samples he's playing on his website.
I'm no guitar expert, but why do his tunes sound like he's now learning how to play it? There are quite a few awkward pauses in the songs that break your immersion in the melodies.
 
Based_Papa_John said:
Also, I can't be the only one who confuses Cole Smithey with Cinema Snob now and again.
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Difference is, Cinema Snob is a likable guy that respects people and their beliefs (same goes for Brad Jones in general). Cole is a pretentious liberal dick in and out of character.
Edit: Now that I think about it, he fits Doug Walker's profile a bit better, both being unlikable douches in real life.
 
The handsome tard said:
Difference is, Cinema Snob is a likable guy that respects people and their beliefs (same goes for Brad Jones in general). Cole is a pretentious liberal dick in and out of character.
Edit: Now that I think about it, he fits Doug Walker's profile a bit better, both being unlikable douches in real life.
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Eh, take it for what you will, but the general consensus is that while Doug is a gigantic sperg and on the dumb side, he's a pretty friendly guy. Cole just comes off as a completely insufferable douchebag with nothing salvageable.
 
Father Jack said:
Cole has a new website where you can book him to play Bossa Nova music:

Cozy Cole - SOLO BOSSA NOVA GUITARIST

Cozy Cole Bossa Nova Guitar. Cozy Cole is available to play classic songs from the Bossa Nova canon at your next New York City function.
www.cozycole.com www.cozycole.com

Anyone else think Cozy Cole sounds like the name of a rapey clown?
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Good on him for continuing to live off of his wife's money, I guess. It looks like this endeavor will go about as well financially as his film critic career does, i.e. not very much.
 
Cole has the life Chris always wanted.
He doesnt have to do anything but watch movies while leeching off his wife. Cole is what would happen if the love sign worked!:story:
 
welcometotherock said:
I wonder if he'll even attend Barb's funeral when she dies. More to the point, if such an encounter were to happen, would Cole and Chris finally reconcile?
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Its extremely unlikely he would show up at her funeral, at MOST, he send a message to Chris about how he is sorry (tho not really). And even if he did, he would stay away from Chris, that Im very sure. The moment he isnt obligated to stay anymore, he would jump into his car and drive away before Chris can try to force his responsibilities onto him.
 
The handsome tard said:
Cole has the life Chris always wanted.
He doesnt have to do anything but watch movies while leeching off his wife. Cole is what would happen if the love sign worked!:story:
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Not quite, we still don't have the vivacious Crystal.
 
The handsome tard said:
Cole has the life Chris always wanted.
He doesnt have to do anything but watch movies while leeching off his wife. Cole is what would happen if the love sign worked!:story:
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Slowinthemind said:
And chris has the fame cole craves.
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Why not combine the two and make some sort of hideous East Indian deity that poops itself physically and verbally? Four arms, two heads (one vertically above the other instead of side by side,) glistening white with flop sweat, speaking in two voices but also in unison, and completely narcissistic and self-centered. The poos will love them! We can call it, Shitva.
 
Slowinthemind said:
To my knowledge Cole has never met Chris and he really hates Barb.
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We know Cole visited Casa del Chandler for Chris's 18th birthday and, IIRC, Barb and Chris might have flown to California (back in happier times) to visit Cole once.

But, yes, Cole does indeed hate Barb and is completely estranged from her. While he probably doesn't hate Chris, Cole has blocked Chris every time Chris has tried to contact him via social media and Cole will supposedly block anyone on SM who brings up the topic of CWC. So, yeah, the chances of Cole returning to Virginia for Barb's funeral and/or reconciling with Chris are pretty darn slim.
 
Cole's not going to want to be bothered with Chris, even after Barb dies. They barely know each other, haven't forged any kind of sibling bond, and the only time Chris gets into contact with him is to beg him for money.

They're both spergs, and it would be interesting to see how they'd react at her funeral however.
 
The last time Cole saw Chris, it was because he believed him to be his innocent and unfortunate 18 year old autistic brother who deserved a chance. Chris is now an insane money begging tranny. Ya'll are crazy if you think Cole will come near that. Barb's funeral sure as shit isn't worth it.
 
I feel like when the inevitable happens, Cole will stay away. As fucked up as it is, I feel like he knows if he even sends a message, he’ll somehow get roped into letting chris move in “temporarily” aka for 5 years. An interesting potential saga? Absolutely! Likelihood of happening? Who knows.
 
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