The Cole Smithey Thread

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Slowinthemind said:
Why do other film critics even acknowledge Cole as one of them? Most of his Youtube videos struggle to get more than 20 views each, my niece gets more sharing her videos with her school friends, how the fuck is he even on their radar?
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He joined The Internet Film Critics Society in the 90s when barely anyone was writing online. So he's grandfathered in.
 
Wrathcaster said:
I know the Ladybird thing is old news, but Cole got a pretty intensive shit-talking from one of my favorite Youtube channels, ETC Show (formerly Machinima's official entertainment news channel). Their Weekly Weird News series is pretty great. I'd kill to see these dudes' reactions to Chris.

EDIT: In case link doesn't work, it starts at 7:50

https://youtube.com/watch?v=id=CYhiis9mbEI;m=7;s=50
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Thanks for the recommendation - as well as one more person I'm happy to listen to that isn't Cole.
 
de_DEVIL_tails said:
From what i remember someone here once said that he was on rotton tomatoes before it was popular so he got grandfathered in to their inner circle
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This is almost certainly true, the requirements to be a critic on RT used to be insanely easy to meet. The old requirements were just having a collection of reviews (~200) at a certain word count, that could be judged to be remotely intellectual by some mysterious RT panel. Other than that, you also had to be in your local film society, which is just an elitist club of film snobs that charge you a yearly fee to meet up, sip coffee, and pretend your opinions are better than the average normie.
 
Shiversblood said:
They are brothers so he might fall for it.
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Not really. Cole seems neurotypical besides a massive superiority complex. He's also two decades older than Chris and married. Nobody's going to trick him into sending nudes or dressing in women's underwear.

ChurchOfGodBear said:
If Cole could be convinced that imitating Chris could make him "edgy" and "insightful", he'd be wearing a clay medallion tomorrow.
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That's ridiculously far-fetched imo. There are people worldwide waiting for the next ten-second clip of Chris to hit the Internet so they can scour every trivial detail for new reasons to call him a fat lazy retard. Cole undoubtedly knows about that; why would he want to bring it on himself?
 
Louis Theroux said:
Not really. Cole seems neurotypical besides a massive superiority complex. He's also two decades older than Chris and married. Nobody's going to trick him into sending nudes or dressing in women's underwear.



That's ridiculously far-fetched imo. There are people worldwide waiting for the next ten-second clip of Chris to hit the Internet so they can scour every trivial detail for new reasons to call him a fat lazy exceptional individual. Cole undoubtedly knows about that; why would he want to bring it on himself?
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Because Cole craves attention and validation, and the fact that his brother became internet famous without even trying drives Cole insane.

We can agree to disagree, of course.
 
ChurchOfGodBear said:
Because Cole craves attention and validation, and the fact that his brother became internet famous without even trying drives Cole insane.

We can agree to disagree, of course.
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I do agree that he's blowing his opportunity by not milking the Chris-chan infamy a bit. If he wrote a brief account of life growing up with a living legend of Internet culture, it would end up being the first thing he's ever written that someone might want to read to the end.
 
Louis Theroux said:
I do agree that he's blowing his opportunity by not jerking off the Chris-chan infamy a bit. If he wrote a brief account of life growing up with a living legend of Internet culture, it would end up being the first thing he's ever written that someone might want to read to the end.
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I'd read it - better than reading any of his critical BS anyday. Too bad that would require him to accept that Chris is better than him at being noteworthy. It won't happen anytime soon.
 
Wrathcaster said:
I know the Ladybird thing is old news, but Cole got a pretty intensive shit-talking from one of my favorite Youtube channels, ETC Show (formerly Machinima's official entertainment news channel). Their Weekly Weird News series is pretty great. I'd kill to see these dudes' reactions to Chris.

EDIT: In case link doesn't work, it starts at 7:50

https://youtube.com/watch?v=id=CYhiis9mbEI;m=7;s=50
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I watch all of ETC's videos, and it wasn't until I saw that one when it came out that I realized Cole Smithey, most intelligent film critic, is the same person as Cole Smithy, brother of Chris Chan.
 
Louis Theroux said:
I do agree that he's blowing his opportunity by not jerking off the Chris-chan infamy a bit.
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That's actually one of the only things I find redeeming about Cole.

While it would certainly be easy to ride the CWC gravy train and write a book/blog/whatever detailing an insider's view of Chris, Babs, Bob, etc., Cole chose to distance himself from the family and has tried to succeed on his own merits. Granted, I think his reviews are a strange mix of pomposity, condescension, and amateur journalism, but they are his own work and he got to where he is today by being Cole Smithey, not Chris-Chan's older brother.

(And that is probably the only nice thing I will ever say about him.)
 
Louis Theroux said:
I do agree that he's blowing his opportunity by not jerking off the Chris-chan infamy a bit. If he wrote a brief account of life growing up with a living legend of Internet culture, it would end up being the first thing he's ever written that someone might want to read to the end.
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He didn't grow up with him, though. He was 17 when Chris was born.
 
Louis Theroux said:
I do agree that he's blowing his opportunity by not jerking off the Chris-chan infamy a bit. If he wrote a brief account of life growing up with a living legend of Internet culture, it would end up being the first thing he's ever written that someone might want to read to the end.
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It would get him the views he craves but he would also have to admit to his hipster Jew Yorker buddies that he is really a redneck from a family of retards, his ego is pretty conflicted.
 
I love this self fulfilling prophecy in the Chandler bloodline (least when it comes to the children) where they are all self loving and extremely full of themselves with little to nothing to justify their behavior. Its quite humorous. Almost makes me glad that Chris will never have kids because if he did his kids would grow up to be just as entitled if not more so especially with the social and political landscape we have right now. It would be CWCville in one house
 
TheShortWaveCerealKiller said:
I love this self fulfilling prophecy in the Chandler bloodline (least when it comes to the children) where they are all self loving and extremely full of themselves with little to nothing to justify their behavior. Its quite humorous. Almost makes me glad that Chris will never have kids because if he did his kids would grow up to be just as entitled if not more so especially with the social and political landscape we have right now. It would be CWCville in one house
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If Chris did have kids, it would complete the circle of life. He'd slowly morph into Barb, hoarding shit in the house and throwing tantrums while the kids and partner go out to eat every night. Eventually one of his kids would move to New York to lead a remarkably unremarkable life as a film douche, while the other would just occupy the space upstairs, shitting his pants and yelling about whatever the future equivalent of MLP is.
 
Louis Theroux said:
If Chris did have kids, it would complete the circle of life. He'd slowly morph into Barb, hoarding shit in the house and throwing tantrums while the kids and partner go out to eat every night. Eventually one of his kids would move to New York to lead a remarkably unremarkable life as a film douche, while the other would just occupy the space upstairs, shitting his pants and yelling about whatever the future equivalent of MLP is.
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Would Chris one day threaten to cut down his sons internet before dying in hospital because a nurse was loud?
 
Shiversblood said:
Why Are so many people on this forum COWARDS who are afraid of Cole Smithey????
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I ain't afraid of someone who thinks they're smart and clearly isn't - after all, if you have to ssy you're smart and can't prove it, you clearly ain't.

What I'm afraid of is wasting time arguing with them over BS, only to stoop to their sad level, honestly. Besides, Cole's already won - he triggered the people we want to see triggered ourselves.
 
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